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11/22/2017 c21 john15641
I call bullshit on this chapter. I mean, you clearly stated that rule breaker ss been launched in his UBW, yet Herakles still has a master? honestly man, I'm expecting more from you. at least be consistent
10/18/2017 c6 4CruelRuin
... For how popular this is, I was really expecting a lot more.
10/7/2017 c3 Ryoji Mochizuki
YAY, NEGIMA REFERENCE! .
10/7/2017 c3 1shadyxlr
On chapter 3 right now but this story can hold your attention like few stories can.
9/15/2017 c5 Miro0815
"Child's Play" seems a little too convenient for my taste.

Ozpin just happens to come by because he wants to recruit Gillian.
Ozpin just happens to have volunteered for a little job at the orphanage.
Ozpin just happens to be needed for a mission.
Ozpin just happens to ask Shirou/Jaune to fill for him in.
Shirou just happens to get the "problem children".
The orphanage just happens to prioritize having several flying vehicles over providing essential medication for the kids.
The Warners just happen to get the money for the medication by theft.
The Warners just happen to buy the medication from a drug dealer.
Shirou kills/maims a few thugs?
Shirou attacks first for being stared at by possibly powerful person he knows nothing about, going so far as to launch a possibly lethal attack without prior provocation?
Ozping let's Torchwick go just like that? Belivable but strange.
8/29/2017 c1 kirman151
Journal log
Date: Unknown
My name is Shiore Emiya. If you read this, than you should know that I possessed body of your son\brother\friend\lover and right now desperately trying to pass as him. Exorcise me please.
8/20/2017 c9 Guest
you really dont like weiss do you?
8/4/2017 c7 Skeletickles
Weiss just get rid of your weapon. Seriously. I'm a tiny bit worried what Shirou will do to you if you don't.
8/4/2017 c4 Skeletickles
RUN YOU IDIOTS
7/27/2017 c10 AsTheGlassMelts
Too much AU, Aura being weirdly used, Shirou actively deciding not to have actual Aura and thus making himself weaker, and just... Lots of little things that add up everywhere. I can't read past the halfway point in this chapter. Your spelling and grammar is good, or normal anyways but that's good here on FFN, and you are creative. I can't compliment anything else.
7/27/2017 c9 AsTheGlassMelts
Hate to break it to you, but Rapiers have edges too, and slashing with them is perfectly viable.

The sword you're thinking of that is pretty much just a really long nail and only has a point is called the Foil, but even that sometimes had an edge and while not recommended it could be feasible to slash someone who was only wearing cloth.
5/25/2017 c3 38Mystic the Kitsune
One thing to criticize here. I feel you are seriously underpowering Shirou, and overpowering the characters of the RWBY world. I mean he fought Hero's from the age of gods and defeated Gilgamesh and is a master swordsman using the history of the swords he replicates and is capable of mass destruction! Yet he can be beaten by Jaunes dad if he only fought at 41%?! I am calling bullshit here seriously, Shirou Post-Grail war with the buffs you gave him coming to this world is capable of taking on Salem of all people and win.

Not saying fix your story but please get your facts right or at least explain why the people of the RWBY world are being so massively overpowered. Also saying that all the residents of RWBY have the capability of unlocking a reality marble? Stop please stop.

I want to point out this is not a flame, just pointing out some glaring offensive things for Fate fans.
5/21/2017 c29 Ryoji Mochizuki
very interesting
4/16/2017 c29 8FractiousDay
Began well, but with the addition of a grail war with masters and servants I have no reason to care about I think it dropped off rather
4/4/2017 c14 1Still thinking on a username
Shirou just made a huge blast with cadalbolg and no is one asking question.
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