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10/31/2016 c12 Guest
Also, why the hell would a stab wound take more effort to heal than a burn that destroyed his hand down to the bone? How does that make ANY sense to you? I'd immagine that having to regrow the cartilage, nerves, and muscle would be FAR more taxing than closing u a flesh wound. Where's your logic?
10/31/2016 c12 Guest
"It was foolish of me to turn my back against such a skilled opponent, even for a second" ...but, i thought the whole point til now was that Weiss IS NOT skilled? She's showy and wasteful. Unworthy of her weapon. Make up your mind.
10/30/2016 c11 Guest
You really need to cut that "E level luck" thing. Once or twice is quaint, but you repeat it in damn near every chapter. It's too much bruv.
10/30/2016 c9 Guest
Did you SERIOUSLY have Jaun Arc, son of Gillan and Jeanne Arc, tell Blake that he leaned to cook as an orphan? SERIOUSLY?
10/30/2016 c8 Guest
"For a celestial body that didn't have a consciousness" ...HAH! There. You said it. DOESN'T have a consciousness. IT DOES NOT. Therefore it does not actively act to suppress his magecraft and more importantly his constructs. I.e. Unlimited Bladeworks. So, without a force like Alaya inimically working against his magical manifestations he should technically be able to maintain his Bladeworks indefinitely. Or, at the verry least, at a significantly reduced mana cost. ...you should fix that.
10/29/2016 c5 Guest
NOOOOOOO! Why'd you have to go and add elements from his previous reality!? It's SERIOUSLY annoying when authors do that. I's like they're incapable of driving the story withought that particular crutch. And SERIOUSLY cut it with the "rank E luck" joke. The first one was cute(like a heart attack) but the repetition is contrite and really not funny. Now, i'm going to keep reading cause i like the innitial concept and i want to see where this is going, but i no longer have much faith in where this is going.
10/29/2016 c3 Guest
I seriously love your story, but your little stat sheet was seriously lame. Like, unbridled shite. Dont do that. I get it, it's fate/stay but just let your characters speek for them selves. Also, the little extra commentary and personality traits were sickeningly corny.
10/29/2016 c1 Guest
Duuuuuuuude... O.P. as fuck. I like!
10/8/2016 c1 7infadinityfollower
Pretty good
9/11/2016 c17 nlolDslsllz
Whyyyy doesn't Shirou just use Avalon on Tabitha when she's asleep and heal her. That way she's healed, but no worries about everyone wanting him to be their miracle cure. Also, this story is ridiculous but I can't seem to stop reading yet.
9/11/2016 c5 Yami-Guy
I will admit when I found out that the burial agency was in Remnant, or at least something similar to it I almost left the story. After all, I hate reading about how people/organizations from the origin verse(Nasuverse in this case) slowly but surely become more and more involved in the new one (Remnant) until its just one Verse rather than the old home verse and the new home verse. Not sure what you are doing so I will stay till then but the moment I see something like cross world conflict or a damned Grail War I am gone. Not to mention that Magic does not exist on Remnant, Monty/Resident Deity whatever gave them Aura/Semblance so they don't need magic.
9/11/2016 c9 nlolDslsllz
Gae Bolg has a very low usage cost if I remember correctly, absurdly low for it's usefulness. Also can't believe he explained the spear to Blake, because the idea of causality reversal is so bullshit and out of this world (even in Remnant) that it would get him locked up and dissected if anyone found out. I might be remembering wrong, but doesn't it also have an inherent murder-aura? The kind of thing everyone with any battle-instinct would notice like an alarm going off?

Also wtf? He told Blake he was orphaned? "Jaune" has to be the absolute worst dimensional traveling body-snatcher in the history of EVER. Anyone who knows the Arcs will know this is a lie, and a bad one. Christ.

Otherwise fine chapter.
9/9/2016 c1 1jordanlink7856
Finally! A logical response to seeing the FUCKING MOON broken! God damn!
8/31/2016 c3 Random Guy
Screw the long statssheet, not many people will finish that. Also, shirou's a LOT weaker than expected, since he came after defeating Goldie. Also, how does Gillian know about his heroic streak? They never talked in the narration about it, and its only a few hours after they met. I don't think the original Jaune is distorted.
7/23/2016 c7 Wednesday's Jest
So I am a bit confused here. Shirou previously made a conscious decision to keep his usurping of Jaune's body quiet. Despite that, and the fact that he is already known to multiple people as Jaune Arc, he decides to add Emiya to his name. Why? I can't see it as an accident because that would more likely have him introduce himself as Emiya Shirou. So it has to have been a deliberate choice, but I can't imagine his reasoning for it. Having him do so is jarring and bizarre, it damages my suspension of disbelief and pulls me out of the story. Unless you have a strong reason for the introduction I'd get rid of it.
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