for Dating his bestfriend's sister8/30/2016 c8 Guest
Ooo I'm writing a review ...
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A REVIEW
I AM LITERLY DROWING EMOJIS, HELP ME!
Ooo I'm writing a review ...
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A REVIEW
I AM LITERLY DROWING EMOJIS, HELP ME!
10/18/2015 c21 
12TheMightyGold
Now this is a fanfiction! It has all the components! Not only that, it was a pretty damn good ending too! Thank u for your hard work!
12TheMightyGoldNow this is a fanfiction! It has all the components! Not only that, it was a pretty damn good ending too! Thank u for your hard work!
10/16/2015 c20 TheMightyGold
I guess its been a long time since we both posted. Glad to see u continuing the story though.
Good Luck!
I guess its been a long time since we both posted. Glad to see u continuing the story though.
Good Luck!
8/30/2015 c19 Guest
lol i just love the picture with gold being so mad
lol i just love the picture with gold being so mad
6/14/2015 c17 3Lady Silvi
This is beautiful~ (sorry for my english)
I can't wait for the next chapter :3
¡BYE~NIII!
3Lady SilviThis is beautiful~ (sorry for my english)
I can't wait for the next chapter :3
¡BYE~NIII!
5/21/2015 c14 Guest
thank u this entire story is Perfect more plz
thank u this entire story is Perfect more plz
5/21/2015 c13 Ran707
*slow claps while talking*"CONGARATULATIONS SILVER YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY DEAD!"
*slow claps while talking*"CONGARATULATIONS SILVER YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY DEAD!"
5/13/2015 c9 Lady Silvi
Wooow, you are really fast!
And this is awesome :D (sorry if my english is bad)
Yeii! Ruby and Sapphire have the game's names XD
I'm exited to see what kinds of things are going to hapen next ;)
¡BYE~NIII!
Wooow, you are really fast!
And this is awesome :D (sorry if my english is bad)
Yeii! Ruby and Sapphire have the game's names XD
I'm exited to see what kinds of things are going to hapen next ;)
¡BYE~NIII!
5/11/2015 c7 12TheMightyGold
I am keeping track with this because i am so into it. Oh BTW, the rollercoaster thing that you asked for is done. Its a one shot though. I hope you enjoy, and im looking foward to your chapters in the future! ;)
12TheMightyGoldI am keeping track with this because i am so into it. Oh BTW, the rollercoaster thing that you asked for is done. Its a one shot though. I hope you enjoy, and im looking foward to your chapters in the future! ;)
5/10/2015 c6 3Lady Silvi
Wooo, I really love the fanfic! (sorry if my english is not good DX)
I hope to see the gym battle, it would be interesting :3
¡BYE~NIII!
3Lady SilviWooo, I really love the fanfic! (sorry if my english is not good DX)
I hope to see the gym battle, it would be interesting :3
¡BYE~NIII!
5/3/2015 c3 12TheMightyGold
I really like how you put Lyra in without replacing Crystal. BTW, I got your message. I don't know about ankward Red, but I will include a gold x crystal story with a rollercoaster
12TheMightyGoldI really like how you put Lyra in without replacing Crystal. BTW, I got your message. I don't know about ankward Red, but I will include a gold x crystal story with a rollercoaster
4/30/2015 c1 Myracels
You're writing still needs some refining but doing is the best practice ,
Alright the stupid part of a review: the spelling
-watch out in which POV you're writing in the first alinea you say: 'I can make...' then a couple sentences further you say: 'they're going to expect a girl version of Gold' it should be: 'they're going to expect a girl version of me'
-describe actions a little bit more: in stead of saying ' I was awaken by a certain bubble beam...' you can say 'Abruptly I opened my eyes, I muttered curses under my breath when I glanced at my alarm clock, it was only seven AM -three hours before my normal wake time- I was just planning on screaming something at Poltaro when I realized that was impossible' this is much more information about the action and sounds better
-just watch out for spelling in general don't forget verbs and don't forget to put them in the right form.
the story started out good but I would like more dialogues, clearer action descriptions and be sure to mention who is speaking and who is doing what.
You're writing still needs some refining but doing is the best practice ,
Alright the stupid part of a review: the spelling
-watch out in which POV you're writing in the first alinea you say: 'I can make...' then a couple sentences further you say: 'they're going to expect a girl version of Gold' it should be: 'they're going to expect a girl version of me'
-describe actions a little bit more: in stead of saying ' I was awaken by a certain bubble beam...' you can say 'Abruptly I opened my eyes, I muttered curses under my breath when I glanced at my alarm clock, it was only seven AM -three hours before my normal wake time- I was just planning on screaming something at Poltaro when I realized that was impossible' this is much more information about the action and sounds better
-just watch out for spelling in general don't forget verbs and don't forget to put them in the right form.
the story started out good but I would like more dialogues, clearer action descriptions and be sure to mention who is speaking and who is doing what.
4/29/2015 c1 21The Legendary Falcon Fall
Poor hie's the separator instead of the pervert!Which is good thing to us girls,but Silver's dead.
21The Legendary Falcon FallPoor hie's the separator instead of the pervert!Which is good thing to us girls,but Silver's dead.