for Girls Who Swim, Men Who Drown4/2/2019 c1 Guest
Oh my. I like stories about Ariel's homesickness, but this one actually made me cry. Thank you.
Oh my. I like stories about Ariel's homesickness, but this one actually made me cry. Thank you.
5/6/2015 c1 
5The Writer Cookie
Well. That was emotional. I'm serious, I feel like tearing up. Well done :)
5The Writer CookieWell. That was emotional. I'm serious, I feel like tearing up. Well done :)
5/1/2015 c1 6Axantur
Okay…if you write a stirring story, then it’s likely you’re going to stir stuff up. You got my emotions stirred up at least.
Well, it was a powerful story and one that I really liked. It tugged deep at the strings of what holds my interest for Eric and Ariel….which is Eric and Ariel. What is the depth of their love, could they ever be parted, what would that do to them?
I think it’s absolutely true that Ariel will eventually yearn for the sea as she grows older and wiser, though perhaps not so much as to leave Eric as rather to return for a time and remember what it was like. Mac is right up to a point. She was a mermaid. The question is, as in Andersen, is Ariel now human? Questions of souls and spirits notwithstanding, I think she becomes more human as she grows older, she had that longing from so early on, but in the end she can never escape the element in which she was born.
I loved how you wrote this, how you introduced it, with the motif of sand in the sheets. Perhaps she needed that time alone, but I can imagine that what would have hurt Eric the most was how much he would have wanted to share those moments, as many as she was willing and needed, with him.
Mermaids aren’t the only beings who love the sea. Sailors do as well.
I think it was sweet and moving how she tried to hide it, her longing, as though Eric might not know. It begs the question of the balance in her life … her love for the land, her fascination with it, came first, before Eric. But was this because of the land itself or because she knew somehow that her true love and thus her destiny were of the land? I’ve always thought the latter.
I think it would have hurt Eric, not being able to share that with her.
His conversation with Mac betrays this I think. I liked Mac. He was a kind old fellow, him and his nets. His comparison of Eric with a fish tail wanting a breath of air was an apt one.
Now please note, all of this was beautifully written, and I really, really liked it. It’s just a more pressing need to tell you how the story made me feel.
When Ariel felt that something in Eric had changed, that his worry had left him, that he said he understood, I guess this deepened her love for him because she then knew he no longer worried about the sea taking her from him.
In the end though, when she wished to return to the sea, she made a slight miscalculation assuming that Eric would prefer to be buried, the fate she dreaded. But Eric was a sailor. The sea was in his heart, and even though years may pass since one last rose the waves, the longing never leaves, the longing for the sunsets, the infinitely dark night skies, and the sigh of the seas against the bow. He too would want the sea to be his final place of rest.
This was a great story and very, very moving. I hope we see more and want to thank you for sharing your art and work with us.
-Axantur
6AxanturOkay…if you write a stirring story, then it’s likely you’re going to stir stuff up. You got my emotions stirred up at least.
Well, it was a powerful story and one that I really liked. It tugged deep at the strings of what holds my interest for Eric and Ariel….which is Eric and Ariel. What is the depth of their love, could they ever be parted, what would that do to them?
I think it’s absolutely true that Ariel will eventually yearn for the sea as she grows older and wiser, though perhaps not so much as to leave Eric as rather to return for a time and remember what it was like. Mac is right up to a point. She was a mermaid. The question is, as in Andersen, is Ariel now human? Questions of souls and spirits notwithstanding, I think she becomes more human as she grows older, she had that longing from so early on, but in the end she can never escape the element in which she was born.
I loved how you wrote this, how you introduced it, with the motif of sand in the sheets. Perhaps she needed that time alone, but I can imagine that what would have hurt Eric the most was how much he would have wanted to share those moments, as many as she was willing and needed, with him.
Mermaids aren’t the only beings who love the sea. Sailors do as well.
I think it was sweet and moving how she tried to hide it, her longing, as though Eric might not know. It begs the question of the balance in her life … her love for the land, her fascination with it, came first, before Eric. But was this because of the land itself or because she knew somehow that her true love and thus her destiny were of the land? I’ve always thought the latter.
I think it would have hurt Eric, not being able to share that with her.
His conversation with Mac betrays this I think. I liked Mac. He was a kind old fellow, him and his nets. His comparison of Eric with a fish tail wanting a breath of air was an apt one.
Now please note, all of this was beautifully written, and I really, really liked it. It’s just a more pressing need to tell you how the story made me feel.
When Ariel felt that something in Eric had changed, that his worry had left him, that he said he understood, I guess this deepened her love for him because she then knew he no longer worried about the sea taking her from him.
In the end though, when she wished to return to the sea, she made a slight miscalculation assuming that Eric would prefer to be buried, the fate she dreaded. But Eric was a sailor. The sea was in his heart, and even though years may pass since one last rose the waves, the longing never leaves, the longing for the sunsets, the infinitely dark night skies, and the sigh of the seas against the bow. He too would want the sea to be his final place of rest.
This was a great story and very, very moving. I hope we see more and want to thank you for sharing your art and work with us.
-Axantur