FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Out Man Squad

9/7/2015 c6 29fanofthisfiction
Capturing different background experiences of the nin was interesting in this chapter. Sai's unemotional nature was especially highlighted well.

Not sure if Tenten really did try reviving a fish but you certainly made it believable here.

Interesting twist with the poison and having Choji be the one discovering it was a fun fact.

I imagine school has started up but hope your writing continues during Christmas Break.

I added some things to advertise the Fanfiction Review Movement (FRM) to my profile basically letting people know it includes Authors who support positive constructive commentary and reviews. All authors have generally reviewed generously to those who have reviewed for them and and everyone is in it to provide better feedback to hopefully ultimately create better stories and shared help on the site. I assume you are still interested in joining but if not, feel free to let me know.

Best of luck in school and may the ideas for your story continue during your next break. Thanks for sharing!
9/7/2015 c5 fanofthisfiction
Sasuke's impatience came through well in this chapter. Reaction from Kakashi regarding his this really helped to highlight it as well. Briskly taking things on directly helped to speed up the pace in this chapter for sure and I enjoyed the way that was done. You had a good conversation mix with prose in that part.

I wasn't sure if the infant would have significance later on since Karin is a sensory type or if the scene was put in to show her softer side but you had me curious.

I take it Seigetsu was really Suigetsu and although I wasn't sure why Kakashi had already made it inside easily, I suppose that's up for explanation in a following chapter.

Even though Kabuto is in charge of the orphanage, I wonder if he will have the same role as dictated in Naruto Gaiden?

May inspiration keep you going on this story.
9/5/2015 c4 fanofthisfiction
Things that get off tangent (like the funny antics of Naruto and Sakura caught by Yamato) catch the eye and I'm glad you include those things within the story. The explanations surely help the Naruto novice to follow along too.

I'm not typically an "M" reader so I'm actually happy you haven't gone down that road just yet. I'm reading for the actual story and it's nice you've set up each team and it's characters with situational references and provided a window into their personalities.

Thank you for time taken to read my story. I very much appreciate it and am honored you took the time to review.
8/31/2015 c3 fanofthisfiction
The action chapter turned out to be one with some reflection on battle tactics too. Disgruntled Sai was done well here as well as the hurt feelings of Choji and Tenten. Good job on descriptions of ANBU and some secret facts on the history of these characters.

I agree reviews are a nice thing to get and I hope others give their feedback too. I am fairly new to writing as well and can understand this. I've started a fanfiction movement of reviews (see my Profile Page.) If you're interested in joining, let me know. No pressure of course. A few of us would like to change practices of reading and reviewing on this site and what began as a 2 person pledge has slowly expanded. Those having joined were addressed in my latest story but I may consider moving the recognition to my profile page after I finish it. Indeed, it will be nice if the movement continues to spread. I agree one would have to open to reading for the story, not just certain elements or pairings though. The review pledge was essentially started to help promote feedback from readers. For myself, feedback has led to changes made to better a story, something I am grateful for.

Your story is well underway to being an exciting adventure. You're doing a wonderful job giving each of the characters their own personalities for sure.
8/31/2015 c2 fanofthisfiction
I was glad to hear you read your reviews. I was interested in taking a peek at your first chapter after reading your author's introduction. I too think it's good to receive constructive criticism to help make things better.

This chapter added a lot to the first and the humor did make it memorable too. I like what you did with the masks...yes it answered my question, and the other movie reference was fun as well.

Your beginning author's note comment to this chapter also caught my eye. I wasn't sure what it was referencing but soon found out it had to do with the pairings. I suppose it's true that some pairings are more popular than others but hopefully some will just read for the story and enjoy it for what it is.
8/31/2015 c1 fanofthisfiction
Great beginning to your first fanfiction story. The slow reveal on the code names was fun. Even funnier that I wasn't sure who Panda was until the end. I had originally thought that name might be given to Choji.

Cliffhangers are good to prod readers to read on and certainly given that you've thought out the whole story, it's encouraging to know you can work toward your goal of finishing with each subsequent update.

Mixing the team up should make for an interesting team dynamic.
8/26/2015 c6 Guest
Hi, fantastic chapter. I eagerly anticipate the next. Thank you for the entertainment, have a fantastic day.
8/26/2015 c4 Gagster
Sannin isn't a rank that can be inherited or taken away, it's just a nickname given by Hanzo. Hanzo which they all lost to, so how could they be unrivaled in strength?
Or is this part of the Alternate Reality?
8/22/2015 c2 15Cmartin-Panda Productions
I liked the ending to this one. Also, you were busting my ass about having Star Trek references in mine while you have Star Wars in yours? I see how you are :P
8/21/2015 c1 Cmartin-Panda Productions
Good first chapter I'll admit. Looking forward to reading the rest.
8/3/2015 c1 uzu no maki
Pretty good start! I like your TenTen, you definitely need some more recognition in this fandom, lad!
8/3/2015 c5 colouredthinking
I liked this chapter because, you know, I had the opportunity to beta it.

You probably would suck without me, anyway.

So! People should take notice of your take on team Taka and how you portrayed them. Especially Sasuke, definitely on the right track.
8/3/2015 c5 MO-5431
Hi, this story is awesome so far. I eagerly anticipate more, especially seeing how Shino and Sai deal with being a two-man team. Thank you for the entertainment, have a fantastic day.
7/30/2015 c5 21Czar Joseph
Most anytime, friend. I been start being a fan of NaruSaku pair about 'Return of Namikaze' story, and Namikaze Hokage by NamikazeNaruto. And also Takeshi1225's stories.

So feel free to read any of them. Also my acquaintance Chaosmagemon's stories.
7/28/2015 c4 Czar Joseph
Yo, names Czar Joseph, an acquaintance of thesaiyanjedi. I kinda liked this story since I look the stats you got 4, so I favor and your author as well.

So I read all your chapters. It was impressive. Hope I can get to read next.
27 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service