for Harry and Hermione become The Potters11/25/2024 c47 traylonis6071
Ok so I finally sat down and read start to finish. Not going to go into some the things I’m sure you have been reviewed or messaged on, so I’ll put it as this following.
Overall a very good story, one or two parts felt almost like a copy paste, a few things in the later chapters contradicted in the earlier chapters, like the ministry six thing and there being no actual ministry battle, and Harry teaching the da when you wrote he didn’t do that in the earlier chapters.
Beyond those small things, it was a very good story and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank you for taking the time to write this and great work.
Ok so I finally sat down and read start to finish. Not going to go into some the things I’m sure you have been reviewed or messaged on, so I’ll put it as this following.
Overall a very good story, one or two parts felt almost like a copy paste, a few things in the later chapters contradicted in the earlier chapters, like the ministry six thing and there being no actual ministry battle, and Harry teaching the da when you wrote he didn’t do that in the earlier chapters.
Beyond those small things, it was a very good story and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank you for taking the time to write this and great work.
10/20/2024 c17 Sammy-Jay Potter
I love this fic but it's disjointed. You have 2 chapters 1 earlier in the start and on chapter 16 that are nearly identical Harry and Hermione I. Harry's bed after an evening out, also earlier in the fic Sirius adopted Harry in Paris France where he got his Lord Potter ring and was told all about him being Lord Potter. I think you need to reread this fic and fix it for continuity issues
I love this fic but it's disjointed. You have 2 chapters 1 earlier in the start and on chapter 16 that are nearly identical Harry and Hermione I. Harry's bed after an evening out, also earlier in the fic Sirius adopted Harry in Paris France where he got his Lord Potter ring and was told all about him being Lord Potter. I think you need to reread this fic and fix it for continuity issues
10/12/2024 c29 Kai
When did Hermione ever silence a death eater? I like some of your other stories but the continuity errors in this one are hard to swallow. It happened in canon, but not here. Just like the DA that never existed. And Harry's guilt over Sirius' death, despite Sirius being killed by an angry father without Harry's input at all, and most probably far away from the Veil of Death.
When did Hermione ever silence a death eater? I like some of your other stories but the continuity errors in this one are hard to swallow. It happened in canon, but not here. Just like the DA that never existed. And Harry's guilt over Sirius' death, despite Sirius being killed by an angry father without Harry's input at all, and most probably far away from the Veil of Death.
10/12/2024 c25 Kai
Their room is half the size of the Gryffindor common room? That's a room for about 250 students to hang out and work at the same time! Why would two students have a room large enough for 125 students? That's more students than the population of a couple villages where I grew up!
By the way, those other elves may have stopped working Gryffindor tower because they felt insulted. They can not, however, be freed by a random person through being tricked into touching fabric. They do laundry, after all. They can only be freed by their owner, and I would argue only by the head of house, by being handed a clothing item with the intent to release them. It could be argued that not even Dumbledore can free the Hogwarts elves. He might treat the castle as his personal fiefdom, or personal property, but he's just another, even if high ranking, employee.
Their room is half the size of the Gryffindor common room? That's a room for about 250 students to hang out and work at the same time! Why would two students have a room large enough for 125 students? That's more students than the population of a couple villages where I grew up!
By the way, those other elves may have stopped working Gryffindor tower because they felt insulted. They can not, however, be freed by a random person through being tricked into touching fabric. They do laundry, after all. They can only be freed by their owner, and I would argue only by the head of house, by being handed a clothing item with the intent to release them. It could be argued that not even Dumbledore can free the Hogwarts elves. He might treat the castle as his personal fiefdom, or personal property, but he's just another, even if high ranking, employee.
10/12/2024 c22 Kai
They installed a weak spot in their mental wall? Well, those are called "doors", so it's easy to visualise. And there's no need to "break through", is there?
They installed a weak spot in their mental wall? Well, those are called "doors", so it's easy to visualise. And there's no need to "break through", is there?
10/11/2024 c2 Kai
Oh. Poor Harry. I mean, penis size neither defines the worth of a man, nor is a small penis incapable of satisfying women. But the ideal Athenian penis had to be small, as a large penis was considered barbarian or creaturely/beastly, while nowadays it's mostly "the bigger the better". Within limits, of course. A "too big" does exist.
Oh. Poor Harry. I mean, penis size neither defines the worth of a man, nor is a small penis incapable of satisfying women. But the ideal Athenian penis had to be small, as a large penis was considered barbarian or creaturely/beastly, while nowadays it's mostly "the bigger the better". Within limits, of course. A "too big" does exist.
9/26/2024 c47 Ultach
Continuity cock-up!
Battle of Gringotts casualty list contained Lucius Malfoy and SEVERUS SNAPE.
Now you write of Dumbles conferring with Snape over Ginny Longbottom's potion class as if the greasy git were still alive.
Does not compute!
Fix it now.
Ciao.
By the way, please stop writing PREFORM every time you mean PERFORM. Check the bloody dictionary. They are spelt differently because they have radically different meanings.
Continuity cock-up!
Battle of Gringotts casualty list contained Lucius Malfoy and SEVERUS SNAPE.
Now you write of Dumbles conferring with Snape over Ginny Longbottom's potion class as if the greasy git were still alive.
Does not compute!
Fix it now.
Ciao.
By the way, please stop writing PREFORM every time you mean PERFORM. Check the bloody dictionary. They are spelt differently because they have radically different meanings.
8/4/2024 c23 
1at-nightfall
Being German I was always a bit annoyed when in US customs " live and let live" seems to belong to the criminal side of society, whereas it is a very necessary attitude for German small to larger businesses.
1at-nightfallBeing German I was always a bit annoyed when in US customs " live and let live" seems to belong to the criminal side of society, whereas it is a very necessary attitude for German small to larger businesses.
8/4/2024 c22 at-nightfall
at that time the Euro was only used for bank transactions and accounting. Coins and bank notes in Euro started on January, 1st 2002. This could be changed without any effects to the story line.
Thank you for the story.
at that time the Euro was only used for bank transactions and accounting. Coins and bank notes in Euro started on January, 1st 2002. This could be changed without any effects to the story line.
Thank you for the story.
4/17/2024 c47 Ultach
Continuity error.
During the meeting in Dumbles office you write that Dumbles will have Snape check the potions for the rest of Ginny's 5th year. You previously listed Snape amongst the DE casualties of the Gringotts battle.
Does not compute! Otherwise known as 'untangle yer nickers' and make yer bloody mind up!
Ciao.
Continuity error.
During the meeting in Dumbles office you write that Dumbles will have Snape check the potions for the rest of Ginny's 5th year. You previously listed Snape amongst the DE casualties of the Gringotts battle.
Does not compute! Otherwise known as 'untangle yer nickers' and make yer bloody mind up!
Ciao.
4/17/2024 c37 Ultach
Okay, I've hit my limit for terrible grammatical errors. The most egregious in the last few paragraphs are the repeated misuse of BETROTHED every single time that you should be witing INTENDED, and RATHER every single time that you should be writing WHETHER.
I recommend Chambers 21st Century or Oxford English dictionaries for your perusal. I would also recommend having at least one qualified person edit/beta your chapters prior to upload.
Most of the errors suggest that English is not your native language as, being fluent in a non-English tongue, I recognise that perfect grammar in one language does not translate properly to another. Especially by using computer translation. That often shows in howlers like BETROTHED for INTENDED, which solely in the context of marriage arrangements may be interchangeable but NOT in common usage.
Ciao.
Okay, I've hit my limit for terrible grammatical errors. The most egregious in the last few paragraphs are the repeated misuse of BETROTHED every single time that you should be witing INTENDED, and RATHER every single time that you should be writing WHETHER.
I recommend Chambers 21st Century or Oxford English dictionaries for your perusal. I would also recommend having at least one qualified person edit/beta your chapters prior to upload.
Most of the errors suggest that English is not your native language as, being fluent in a non-English tongue, I recognise that perfect grammar in one language does not translate properly to another. Especially by using computer translation. That often shows in howlers like BETROTHED for INTENDED, which solely in the context of marriage arrangements may be interchangeable but NOT in common usage.
Ciao.