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for Eclipse

4/25/2017 c6 3Speedyquader
As a clarification do my last review, I feel that I kinda suck as a writer (I don't put enough details in my writing), but I'm a decent enough storyteller, if that makes any sense. I think it would be really fun to help out if possible, and just chat and have fun with all of you! Obviously, I'm not expecting anything, just thought that I'd love to contribute in any way I can!
4/25/2017 c4 Speedyquader
Those snippets are funny! I'd love to get in on it, but I don't think I'd really be able to contribute much to the writing, except some ideas and humor during conversation/chat. :P
10/17/2016 c6 15Girl-of-Action
Yay for interesting changes~ Looking forward to the Tatsuki vs Ikkaku fight and Renji's and Ichigo's first meeting. :3
10/17/2016 c4 Girl-of-Action
I love how you have them all actually training together. Teamwork ftw~ If only Uryu were there...

Thanks for writing. :3
10/10/2016 c6 Sardine Tyrant Valzy
What a great chapter, hyped for Tatsuki vs Ikkaku. Interesting that you guys skipped the Ganju stuff, I didn't enjoy him at all in the original arc.

And did Soifon basically give Yoruichi a tramp stamp? O_o
9/30/2016 c6 Naruyashan
Great chapter, as always. I definitely look forward to the Tatsuki vs Ikkaku fight!
By the way, I am in full support of Darth Hanatarou.
9/26/2016 c6 10sarista wow
Hey, hey, welcome back, this should be good! Also thanks for the little reminder at the start of the chapter, very useful in fact.

So I quite liked the subversion on the usual freak out scene regarding Yuroichi's true form, though was Uryu standing in the right sort of place to see her eyes? Regardless I thought it was handled well, quick, sharp and fun, but not overly distracting. The descriptions were quite sparse, however due to how fast the characters were moving this is much about demonstrating their speed as anything else. Gin and Yurioichi's general tone feels in character. Though it did feel weird for her to be thrown by the 'flashing' thing, as she was I confess, but that may just be me.

The tenses regarding the balding guy felt a little odd to me. The tenses were a bit odd in Kenpachi's scene as well, however I just plain loved the descriptions regardless, short, to the point but very eloquent and demonstrative, like the apex predator, chain and Kenpachi's rough handling. The Mayuri and Hisagi scenes were also very strong, interesting detail with the blind lady of justice, is that a reference to that American statue or an original creation? Though either way I can totally see Tosen projecting himself and his old friend onto such a thing.

So, onto the running scene, interesting choice to run into soul society instead of out, ah the poor bomb makers, they'll never get their resolution, oh well that's what AUs are for! Anyway I like the overall scene setting, it conveys what's necessary and helps keep the pace going. However two things are jumping out to me a it in this one, the first is that made a few other descriptions like sound or feel could be useful, like when they skid to a halt they make a sound or someone's heart is beating loudly in their ears. Secondly, I am struggling to follow who the point of view character is slightly. In some respects, like with the pancake joke, this works well, however it does leave the scene feeling a bit... broad maybe? Its probably me.
Orihime prying them apart could maybe have been more described for instance, however I still liked the imagery and her dialogue was perfect, ah such a peacemaker, and the overall split up decision is well handles, six one way, half a dozen the other so to speak. It does feel a bit odd that they didn't at least go in pairs mostly though. Otherwise I liked the overall 'good bye' scenes, the descriptions, the character stuff like Ichigo and Chad's exchange, Uryu planning, the hug and Ichigo's face-palming because he has no idea how to 'into' social stuff XD

The prison scene was overall just plain great, I loved Renji's explanation and justifications for getting around the guards, and giving Rukia and Hanatro a last moment together. The description of Rukia shuffling rigidly along the floor was disturbing but so suitably well crafted and Hanataro's sadness and anger was excellently handled.

I don't have a huge amount to say on the Yuroihi/Gin fight scene save that it was awesome! Seriously, good speed, flow, solid descriptions that were neither to short or overdone and a good handling of the battle dialogue and thought processes without any of it being overdone. Yuroichi's plan to get Gin and Sui-Feng tagging in, oh wow, that was fantastic! I was a bit confused by Gin struggling 'more' because of his Bankai training though.

Tatsuki VS Ikkaku... She has found her people, this will be amazing! Anyway I liked Orihime's concerns and general dialogue, balancing her self worth issues with her whims and Tatsuki's somewhat rough attitude with her affection and care for Orihime. The fight introduction was cool as well, it seems Tatsuki should have gone in at 100% right from the start if she wanted to finish this before it could become a real fight :D Good lead out to the scene!

Wow Ichigo must have been really booking it, overall a good scene, it covered that time has passed and where is now, while setting things up for the next fight. The tenses felt a bit odd at times, but the descriptions were solid and the tone strong.

Overall, a very cool chapter!
9/26/2016 c6 Scarease
well thing are getting interesting if yo need co's have a few you might like.
8/19/2016 c2 Nexus the 13th
Thank goodness, the Thousand-Year blood War Arc is just ugh.
7/14/2016 c5 Scarease
great story so far keep it up looking forword to reading other chapter.
7/14/2016 c4 Scarease
Happy to see that Vice Captains are true vice Captains able to kick ass instead of have they ass kicked them better trained and more expirianced beats inexpirianced and untrained vs Recruit equals Beaten Recruit.
7/14/2016 c3 Scarease
Happy to see a combat hand to hand based power for Tatsuki Lightning and fire deffently fit her.
7/14/2016 c2 Scarease
power i am fine with it the whole over use of them Over power abilities and the lessening of battle of wit and with Titanic battle as longs as they done so in a way proper way and it does not become a battle on who has the bigger and more destructive attack.
7/14/2016 c1 Scarease
yaa tatsuki Got power she make more sence then Inue .Inue power's had such potential and promise yet they never fully explore or properly with all of arcs up to Aizen's Defeat ,Ok with Fullbringers arc ,we both agree the Arc of Thousand year War is a Shit pile .One could explain Chad's power better then claiming that he is Fullbringer and he Bringing the power of pride and spirit out of his Skin.
got Few idea's for Hoco Mendo land scape,other Ghost types ,Planer beings ,Future villains ,Lot of Oc's and Some Idea's For Hell that you might like .
6/16/2016 c5 Sardine Tyrant Valzy
Loving these minor changes, did not expect to see Human Yoruichi so soon.

And I really enjoyed how Chad stepped up to take out Jidanbo. Everyone's definitely a step up from their canon counterparts.

Oh, and it's not completely necessary, but I think a "Previously on Eclipse..." Would be quite useful.

Thanks again for the chapter!
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