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6/15/2016 c5 laioszafeiriou
Well... Reality is certainly not stranger than fiction... Also, no Reiatsu for little poor old Keigo, eh? Damn. And no Japanese for Shi/Bankai? I think that's a real shame...
6/1/2016 c1 5Kronus96
The biggest changes here so far seem to be Tatsuki gaining powers a d squad 9 being sent to recall Rukia. Not much for an opening chapter.

All the characters were written very well. Even Tatsuki, who isn't relevant, feels in character.

Since not much changed and some parts were just rehashes of canon I can't rate this too highly yet. I see a ton of potential though.


Thanks for writing.
5/31/2016 c5 10sarista wow
And just when I thought I'd have time to study today XD

OK the opening scene is overall very solid, you make good use of in media res and the circumstances to have Renji offer some exposition and get us right into the scene/situation. I do feel his external ranting about Tousen felt a little over and could maybe have been phrased differently though. I really enjoyed Renji and Hisagi's exchange, the whole scene was well articulated and fit well with the general tone and comedy stylings of the series. So if I understood the end right people from squad 9 delivered the message wrong on purpose?

HAH! Oh Yourichi you champion, Ichigo was trying to be all badass and stern and she just popped up, I love it! The ensuing chaos was also quite amusing and I really liked the back and forth between Tatsuki, Ichigo and Orihime, the "I'm cool" - "no." Thing, really drives home how long they've known each other and leaves the dialogue feeling natural.
Also poor Ishida, hehe, but its good Ichigo's not alone in making an ass of himself, or being made one, also good use of Chad's sometimes frustrating none communicative nature, though Ichigio often seemed pretty indifferent to that. Over all a fun scene with a badass and fitting lead out.

The prison scene between Rukia and Renji was very strong, echoing canon but bringing up their background earlier and more smoothly. I think the part that stood out strongest though was how you communicated Renji's nerves and discomfort, the chair, the little tapping of his fingers, all of it was just excellent.

The final scene was really strong, I was a bit confused why Orihime didn't help them like before but I've got a theory that she's leaning more on Tatsuki than in canon, is that in the ball park? Regardless Tatsuki's rage at them being dumped like that was hilarious and Chad just shrugging it off and Ichigio's view on it was very in character. I liked the descriptions and narration over all, though one or two of Ichigio's thoughts, I felt, might have worked better as internal dialogue over narration but that's a minor thing.
The fight scene was good fun and I liked the various explanation and plot holes you filled in, also Chad just no nonensing it the entire fight was awesome. Gin's arrival was really well handled. Chad's view on the speed, explosion and Yuoichi felt a bit out of sorts with the rest of the scene, more like another narrator over an immediate reaction, but that was very minor. Nice perspective changes during the prime battle and badass reveal for Yuroichi, nice to see you're taking it off the rails early XD

On the author notes and matter of Keigo, Don Kanonji and Mizuiro, I highly recommend Chivalry, they aren't the focus, Kanonji isn't actually a character in that one, but it may make you like them, though obviously you don't have to, but its got a fun Tatsuki beating stuff up.

Overall an awesome chapter, best of luck with the next one!
5/13/2016 c4 4JESUSSAYSNO
good story. not a lot to go on. but nothing bad so far. please please please don't respond to your reviews in the chapters. it artificially bloats the word count and makes people, like me, who use the word count filter kinda feel cheated. your story is fine, but honestly, the PM system exists for a reason.
4/28/2016 c4 Lord Kratos
Good job guys for creating another solid chapter of Bleach! For this chapter, I like how you are guiding Tatsuki in utilizing her electrical powers. Her "Lightning Aura" is pretty badass on how it amplifies her natural strength and capabilities. Were you inspired by Yoruichi's shunko (even she made note that it looks eerily familiar), Nappa's Lighting Aura, Luffy's Second Gear, or something else for that power up?

Kudos to the writer for writing the analogue when Chad was comparing his fluctuating power to a gun being used like club. That shit was original and somewhat funny.

I like how you involved Tessai in training both Tatsuki, Chad, and Orihime. Gad you guys used him more than simply for Ichigo's shattered shaft training. Hopefully he will remain useful at times in future events.

I appreciate the fact you guys skipped Ichigo's shattered shaft training to fasten the plot more. Usually I am against skipping or omitting events in favor of a longer and detailed plot, but I reason that the training is the exact same thing as in canon. So in effect, there will be nothing new from writing that scene. Plus I like how you made Ichigo in keeping his discarded hollow mask. Just seeing it on him makes me wish Ichigo still had his hollow powers concurrently in canon just like the good ol' days.

I see that Uryu is probably doing his "Sanrei Glove" training reclusively just like in canon. While that training will be more beneficial for him than training with the others, But still it would be a nice touch if he decided to train with Urahara and learned or created some Ginto-like kido attacks. That would have been dope!

Kudos to whomever wrote the entire Byakuya segment. That shit was perfect in all regards. The fact that Byakuya MAY go traitor if Rukia was executed can literally change everything we ever known about bleach. It will be like the Zanpakuto Rebellion Arc, but better with Byakuya being vengeful for real.

Quick Question: Did you guys meant to say "Kill' instead of "Will" when Ichigo was thinking 'If he needed to, Ichigo would [will] himself back again, and again, and again'? "Kill" to me sounds much better than will.

Anyways thanks for another good chapter of Bleach and look forward to the next chapter in 2018 lol.
4/19/2016 c4 Apope
Uh... If this is supposed to be a rewrite, why are scenes skimmed over? Also, are Bleach Filler and/or Movies implemented? Never mind that, are they suggested?
4/19/2016 c3 Apope
Fuck you guys. Keigo is awesome. As is Ganju. In contrast to Kamina. OH YEAH INTERNET, I JUST SAID THAT! WHATCHYOU GONNA DO, HUH?! IN FACT, ALL IF GURREN LAGANN SUCK ITSELF! AND WHILE I'M ON IT, IT WAS THE MOST SATISFYING MOMENT OF MY LIFE WHEN THAT LIL' KAMINA BITCH KICKED THE BUCKET, COME AT ME BRAH! (Ah yes, so awesome, finally a heavy load of my chest... And yes, the Internet is actually my brah;we're twins actually... Pretty sad story, if you ask me, but let's just leave that for another time, shall we "sigh"...)
4/19/2016 c1 Apope
What's the "divergence" again? And where does Tatsuki's Fullbring stem from? And if she's getting one, I'd still be wrong in assuming that others (Don Kanonji, Keigo, Kon etc.) will be getting, right? Not necessarily Fullbrings, or even powers, but, I dunno, moments, I guess? And was that shady man Kisuke? And is he evil now? And why did the Menos Grande fight change? C'mon, that combo was awesome! And I still don't get the stuff with Soul Society... Um... Pretty sure I'm only rambling by this point, so... What's wrong with the later Arcs?!
3/9/2016 c4 Sardine Tyrant Valzy
Glad to see you guys updated!

This chapter was obviously just he set up for the good stuff, soul society invasion, but the training was done really well.

Chad's arm being in Stage 2 already makes me think he'll be taking on tougher opponents.

And Tatsuki is using her own version of Shunko? Hopefully Yoruichi takes her on as a more personal student (Soifon 2.0).

Ichigo's conviction seems to be much stronger than canon, that entire scene was incredibly well written. The lone wolf stuff was a nice touch, but Ichigo learned his lesson once the group training began.

And we finally get to see Byakuya! Glad that we actually witness him pleading for Rukia's life. Makes me wonder if he'll actually stand in Ichigo's way or just not fight him. I don't see him going completely against SS though, so helping Ichigo is out of the question.
2/29/2016 c4 adoboprince
i love the direction this story is going! especially with tatsuki being in on the spiritual mumbo jumbo. and group training! i would have loved to read more about what happened during that three vs one match against ichigo, annd not just a short segment about the aftermath.
aaand dun dun! ichigo's hollow mask! can he put it on or wha? O.o
the segment with byakuya was great. it really captured how he is at this point in bleach: really cares about rukia, but too distant and conflicted. also, did that bit at the end just imply he was planning to commit suicide after the execution? O_O

while i would love to read on the author's discussions and other shenanigans, i was kinda disappointed when i found out that around three-fourth's of the chapter was just that, discussion and not actual story. i know some authors have an lj account where they post their lengthy story ramblings and allow readers to comment and have discussions... perhaps that would be better?
2/29/2016 c4 10sarista wow
Awesome to see this updating again! Sorry it took me a little while to offer a review there were a few new things all in one uni day XD

So the opening scene was very solid, it opened well and quickly brought us back to what just happened and where we are. Its scene we are familiar with from the manga but the overall tone, and language feel like their own unique entity, especially with how they framed stuff like Urahara not smiling like usual. Also, and especially well done, were the descriptions for Ichigo's pain, each one was visceral giving a real sense of shock, tension and agony.

Its a cool idea to have Tessai start the others off on their training, he seems well suited for it and the language he employed all felt very fitting, matching his somewhat loud, not quite bombastic but very 'powerful' manner of making statements while at the same time being fairly brief. The fight scenes and motions were similarly well done, not too drawn out but creating a solid impact and sense of speed. This is more a minor note and take is as a compliment but I didn't realize I didn't know where the characters were until I started this review, I may regard scene setting as overly important though, regardless good scene.

I liked the introspections on all of the characters. I'm guessing Chad doesn't remember his super blast? It sort of read that way anyway. I like Tatsuki getting creative as well and the descriptions and metaphors were well handled, some more time in their heads to look at motives would have been nice but the fic isn't weaker for lacking them if that makes sense. Kudos on capturing Orihime's avoidance issues!

Solid introduction for Yuroichi there, its interesting how you're shifting things up a bit and skipping bits from canon. I loved the "business speaking inhuman" bit, it worked well for either Tatsuki or Chad or even Orihime to a degree. Some of the exposition throughout does seem a tad, rushed, maybe, or the conclusions reached very quickly, but this is as much of a strength as a weakness as watching characters amble around too long can be frustrating and feel off.
I also liked Chad's observation, he's a smart thoughtful guy even fi he doesn't share much, and nice homage to canon about him just trying t butt his way through a stronger enemy and that being a bad idea. Cool to see more focus on team work as well, that really feels like something that should have shown up more from their side given the number and experience differences between them and their enemies.

Now, onto Ichigo's training. The opening works well, getting us into Ichigo's head space and situation while glossing over the pit to which we all know the end of anyway. However I am still finding his... it kind of feels like arrogance, to be a bit off-putting/OOC, especially as Urahara should still be able to leave him in the pavement as a joke at this point. Plus, I confess one of the things I liked about Soul Society Ichigo was the faith he had in his friends, particularly Chad. His connection with his Zanpakuto was well done though, excellently detailed and well delivered reflective introspection and description, all very cool.

Not as much to say that I haven't already as I move on. The action scenes are well delivered having a quick but steady pace and well delivered exposition that doesn't drag too much. I like the strategy as its simplistic but effective because there's only so many 'clever' ways one can avoid lots of dirt exploding around them and I don't think the characters have often shown such an ability.

Their abilities developing faster is an intriguing twist. I do feel maybe a bit more time could have been spent on how they got there but that's a minor thing at best. Having everyone train with Ichigo is an interesting idea, and a good one really, t gets them used to fighting a nominal Shinigami and him used to fighting people other that Urahara and therefore getting used to one opponent and will help them all gel together between if/when they need to work as a team.

Byakuya's scene was overall excellent, his line about fools felt a little weird given his background, but other than that solid stuff. I liked the exposition and the framing, the tone suits him well and conveys his restrained desperation and frustration. The dialogue was very strong in its simplicity and am I guessing right in that Byakuya is plotting to commit suicide if/when Rukia is executed? Glad his obedience to the rules got worked in regardless as otherwise the fantasy bit might have felt a bit too off as Byakuya in many ways is sort of like someone buried in 'who he's meant to be' over who he is and even when he starts relaxing he can't quite escape what he's been turned into.

Solid ending to the training and exposition chapter with Urahara there as well. Hehe, a little shocked they struggled so much given how many power ups Ichigo got within Soul Society XD

Overall, a really awesome chapter!, best of luck with the next one!

Please forgive the confusion but 'Team K'? Anyway its nice to know Tousen will be getting some development here, I actually liked him back in Soul Society and agree he was made kind of dull barring one or two scenes later and not utilised much. I mean, heck, I love watching Kenpachi do what he does but when Tousen was bleeding, broken and still gunning for him I was totally getting where he was coming from with like, everything.

Hey Flash, no problem and thanks so much for the detailed response! I'm glad you thought my comment was worth... commenting on XD
Anyway I get what you guys are saying and like the idea, I guess its just that at this point in canon Ichigo hadn't shown that attitude too much yet. It was only after his friends all got beaten several times that he started coming across as more dismissive with them having to 'prove' they could come along. Though yes his martyrdom complex and guilt issues with taking on responsibility for nearly everything work well.

That does seem fair.

Indeed, he had a will of iron!

Best of luck with the next chapter!
2/28/2016 c4 2MsMonet
Amazing. I do have a suggestion though, if you're willing to hear. I frustrates me to no end when it takes forever for a story to update and when it does, I can't recall what happened in the last chapter. I'm not saying 'update soon', because that would be slightly hypocritical and every author moves at their own pace, but do consider the consequences of not updating for a while, okay? I doubt I have to worry about forgetting this fic (it's too damn awesome for that) but others might and will, so try to keep the "WTF-is-going-on-I-totally-forgot" moments to a minimum.
11/13/2015 c3 10sarista wow
There's a lot of fight scene this chapter, which is great, but it does mean anything I can offer is somewhat broad without being an expert. For what it is worth the descriptions flowed really well and the movements of the cast were very energetic. The dialogue felt very in character on both sides as did their respective attitudes and methodologies during the fight. Nice place for a scene transition.

It feels a tad awkward for everyone to be so casual while Ichigo is in danger and weren't they nominally working as a team before? Sorry. I did love the opening to the scene though, very Tatsuki XD The Rukia scene was fantastic, every little thought felt IC, really capturing her desperation even while keeping a relatively cool head, Tousen and Rukia's dialogue and that final 'she didn't' at the end were excellent.

The final segment was overall awesome, excellently described, fast and powerful with all the motions feeling really thought out. Interesting to see Tousen opting to spare the interlopers and Ichigo but if he hasn't just been BSing with his 'justice' attitudes then its not hard to buy at all. Of course it could also be Aizen's orders. Regardless, I like how sparing Ichigo was intentional on his part. Rukia felt slightly off at the end though, despite Ichigo potentially living I'd have thought she'd show a bit more concern for the others. Regardless Tousen felt quite in character and the scene ended well.

Onto the notes. Its great to hear what you all hope to accomplish with this, it will be a tricky task given how massive the cast is but I definitely think its doable. I'll be looking forward to more development for Tatsuki as it stands her abilities look like a proto version of Yuroichi's specialised fighting style. Ouch, sorry to hear all your plans got erased FinalFlash, my deepest sympathies go out to you.

Sad to hear about Keigo, Mizuiro, Chizuru, Ryo, Mahana and Michiru not getting a chance in the spot light, also, poor Don Kanonji! I think you folks may enjoy 'Chivalry' despite its ongoing state of dormancy it manages to include some other cast members without making them OOC. Oh yeah I just remembered, awesome work with Orihime!

I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!
11/13/2015 c2 sarista wow
Solid opening, it flowed well and managed to inform us of everything we, the reader, needed to know very quickly and Tatsuki feels fairly in character overall, though the bit where she complains about her figure feels a tad stereotypical. Loved her 'rally the troops' line.

Rukia's meeting with Tousen was brilliantly done, very atmospheric and the dialogue exquisite.

Ichigo's 'if you can keep up' line feels a bit OOC, especially at this point in the series and I am bit shocked they all managed to find him so quickly and spent time bickering, Chad is as always the voice of reason and the technical aspects of the seen were well handled.

Good work building up the dread and justification with Tousaen and Rukia's scene, very well described. Though it does make one wonder if they have plans for Ishida given he started the contest. Awesome Uryu introduction scene and a great little exchange of dialogue. "Don't make me an an 'or'!" That line is so brilliantly Tatsuki-ish.

The fight was excellently described, each motion and movement was well described and make a great deal of sense. The scene had a good a sense of flow overall though I'm surprised Hisagi did so well against all of them given how much trouble Renji had against one. Also a little shocked Uryu didn't also yell at Ichigo, those two have a bad habit of screaming at each other while in dangerous situations XD

Wow that was some brutal work by Hisagi but fitting, Ichigo's internal monologue felt very in character, his invisible line while well delivered felt a bit off though given he's worried about his friends but that might just be me.

Anyway great chapter and excellent ending.
11/13/2015 c1 sarista wow
I've been getting back into Bleach recently and this has been a welcome new face in what has mostly been a sea of re-reads for me.

The descriptions are overall quite solid, I rarely had any difficulty picturing the scenery or poses of the characters.

The dialogue is overall fantastic! It has this great sense of energy and tone to it that just meshes so well and really fits the overall scenes and framing.

I am somewhat... wary of some of the phrasing in regards to Ichigo by some of the other characters. Now I will say I hated how he outstripped everyone in canon I have no issue and will in fact applaud everyone else keeping pace or in some cases surpassing him. However, there is a concern of it being done in such a way that perhaps dis the character. As it stands its not too strong of a vibe but it did crop up once or twice and may affect first impressions.

Regardless I really like the changes you are instituting so far, they are very entertaining and quite well thought out. Everyone, even Rukia being in on the powers manifesting from the start is a great twist and Uryu and Uruhara's conversation was great. In fact, Uruhara was hilarious in every scene.

Best of luck with future chapters!
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