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11/29/2015 c1 MJJK46
That had a really good plot! I'm kinda getting the vibe that a) you're not a native speaker of English or b) you didn't care enough to reread your work. I would recommend using a bit more variety of words so that a) you don't sound too repetitive and b) just to add a bit more "spice" to your story. I hope you write again!
6/4/2015 c1 Guest
I'm sorry for what I am about to say but this was really bad written. There were many spelling and grammar errors . It looked like it was forced and rushed. You'll get there if you try harder. I'm not telling you this to make you sad but to help you improve.
5/25/2015 c1 Guest
This wasn't that bad. Just keep trying and you'll get better.
5/25/2015 c1 nathanialim07
Wow, good story its good no need to worry ur doing great.
5/24/2015 c1 Guest
ooo... sounds like he was castrated.

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