
12/18/2016 c1 Guest
Also, you are developing naruto too fast. Just like how an author can give too much direct characterization they can give too much indirectly. Just slow down and you'll be fine.
Also, you are developing naruto too fast. Just like how an author can give too much direct characterization they can give too much indirectly. Just slow down and you'll be fine.
12/18/2016 c1 Guest
Your grammar is poor and most of all your plot moves WAY too fast.
Your grammar is poor and most of all your plot moves WAY too fast.
11/10/2016 c5 jairo
you better make more story i love your grammar it's astounding
you better make more story i love your grammar it's astounding
10/8/2016 c14 Guest
GAY GAY GAY
GAY GAY GAY
8/7/2016 c14 Kono Yo no Kyuseishu7
So i'm new to fanfiction and this is the first story i've read. I LOVE IT. Can't wait till you post again.
So i'm new to fanfiction and this is the first story i've read. I LOVE IT. Can't wait till you post again.
7/21/2016 c6 Guest
\kkl
\kkl
7/20/2016 c1 dororo
why must EVERY naruto fic I read must be " DIE YOU DEMON", "GET THAT FOX" for the opening of the story
write something new duds your story boring
why must EVERY naruto fic I read must be " DIE YOU DEMON", "GET THAT FOX" for the opening of the story
write something new duds your story boring