4/25/2016 c1 15Data Seeker
Hi

I have a fixation with stories where Azula loses her bending- though I have preferences on details.

This basic one-shot is good. The quality is good in many areas: good narration, interaction, dialog, suspense, drama.

You did the characters very well. Zuko does what he believes is best.

Azula was very complex. She has been defeated and broken. And is terrified of losing her bending, and begs for mercy. Though her fear and helpless is real, she is a liar and can’t be trusted.

It’s interesting how bending removal has a physical affect, namely feeling cold.

The unintended consequence was an interesting well executed plot.

I do think of the areas are simplistic, being mere narration when there should be dialog. Also, while this is meant to be a one-shot, I desire more. I wish this could be a major story.

This is what I think of the wholesome standards.

The language is clean; except for an uncalled swear word.
Nothing is suggestively offensive.
While there is self torture and violence, it’s not too gross. Thank you.

I hope this review brightens your day. God bless

Data Seeker

6/2/2015 c1 1axel100
And you've made the perfect case for taking away bending as a last resort. Ozai was a monster with a proven track record of destroying lives around the world. Taking away your bending, so constantly tied to you chi, is a direct attack one yourself at its most personal level. Your carving up someones soul. Now Azula was definitely on the road to being another Ozai. However, while she certainly is dangerous, she has not fully matured/metastasized to her father's level of evil. Her most significant accomplishment, the conquest of Ba Sing Se, was accomplished relatively bloodlessly. Her greatest crime, killing Aang, could also be argued as being excusable due to him being an enemy during the war. I'm not saying that to excuse whatever dark impulses drive her to act. But her choices and the consequences of those choices deserve a punishment commiserate to the crime. Zuko's punishment essentially says she's hopeless and precludes the possibility that she will ever grow beyond the person she is at the age of 15 years. And this simply isn't the case. Yes she is a powerful fire bender, but you know what. The Boiling Rock shows that the Fire Nation has the commitment and the expertise to jailing fire benders. I'm assuming the asylums are similarly equipped. So if Zuko asks Aang to de-power Azula at this point, he's taking the easy way out. And unfortunately, as you've shown, the easy way is too much for Azula to bare. Like or not, Azula is his responsibility. You don't heal her mind by carving up her spirit.

5/30/2015 c1 Gamer W
For your first story you executed this perfectly. Good job! You should feel very proud of yourself! :-)