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7/11 c9 fadumo2468
Ok, Ik you probably won’t read this given that this story is pretty old now, and so there isn’t really a point to change it or anything but I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Your writing is strong in terms of literacy and sentence layout something that’s hard for many writers, so I’ve really loved reading this, however I do think it’s biased. Danny is new to this school yet he never follows or interacts with anyone that isn’t a gryffindor, let alone the main trio, the reason why? He has an odd feeling about them. That’s it, it’s a weak reason so to speak.

Not only that but every time he looks at a slytherin the only words he can think to describe them as is hostile, distaste, unsure, etc… basically only bad things, when in actuality Danny would have agreed with draco about the book trying to eat off kids hands given he himself has to deal with his parents crazy creations going wrong, or ghosts screwing around with him to waste time because it’s ‘fun’ to mess with the half’s.

I’m not saying that he should 100% love the slytherin, I’m saying more that he shouldn’t have an attachment to any group of kids so soon, or really with such a strong bias against another. Slytherin are kids too by the way and can and have always shown emotions other than ‘you are bellow me’, and I think many would have taken a liking to phantom or at least strong interest or thought that he was cool (pun intended).

Ok that’s all, rant over~
1/13 c11 Guest
I HATE HERMIONE
1/13 c10 Eniola
I have never hated hermoninny so much before
7/10/2020 c19 1hotasheaven
This was so fun! Your humor is so cute and gets me every time, haha. Keep up the good work! I'll check your other stuff out too ;D
7/7/2020 c1 hotasheaven
I love your enthusiasm! Also that 'should we tell him' part had me giggling haha
3/24/2020 c6 Guest
Uh no. This story is mess up beyond belief. First of all technology does not work at Hogwarts. Second the ghostly would of destroyed the sensitive electronics in the remote. Thirdly danny allies would of rescued him before he got to Hogwarts. Fourth problem is how come albus would not have his wand pointed at vlad when blade invade his off ice without asking. Fifth problem is amber would of kick skulker a** for what he did to danny. Sixth clockwork would of warn him if something big like this were to happen to the world. Seventh CV vlad would never expose him self to the wizard community like that.

You good sir or mam needs seriously think about stuff before you write. This is a utterly garbage story do some research on both characters before you combine them into a story
12/25/2019 c19 12MikeyLovesIcecreamKitty
This was absolutely amazing. Words cannot accurately describe how much I love this story.
6/5/2019 c19 J
WOW! THAT WAS YOUR FIRST FANFICTION!? IT WAS AWSOME!
1/27/2019 c19 Guest
This made me smile and laugh quite a lot, good job!
Imma sleep now, or I'll be super-dazed on the first day of year nine. Nothing like a good fanfiction to keep you up at night!
12/25/2018 c1 RollingBermudas
Just read the first two sentences and I’m already in love with your writing style...
8/5/2018 c19 LK2
(-)
6/12/2018 c13 2ChaseRyans123
I think this story is fun, I really do, but there are some rather large plot holes that are throwing me off. First, doesn't Danny care about getting home? You've got some lines about him feeling homesick, and hoping things are going well, but he never seems to DO anything about it. He also doesn't seem at all concerned that he's being held against his will by a literal shock collar. He even refuses to tell anyone that he's trapped! He BARELY tells Hermione that he was kidnapped! I suppose he could be afraid of being caught by the ministry, but even he knows that the only people who know he's in Great Britain at all are: 1) Vlad, 2) The Hogwarts staff, and 3) the students. Not to mention that he could just phase a few feet below the ground and fly west until he hit ocean to escape undetected!

Second, why is Danny so complacent with being dehumanized and abused by being forced to wear a collar meant to control him? He isn't even the tiniest bit insulted that the Hogwarts staff chat about needing a way to keep him docile (like he's a wild animal) right in front of him! Not to mention that he's got at least a year's worth of stellar heroism to prove his character, and yet they don't ask and he doesn't tell. No human would actually think, "Oh yeah, I'm wearing a degrading collar that puts me at the whim of total strangers. No big deal, I'm far too busy watching children learn magic!"

Speaking of Danny's hero status, doesn't he care about that? He is literally the ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN AMITY AND THE JAWS OF HELL and he has yet to make a single escape attempt to go save his town that (in his mind) is no doubt being overrun. Plus he knows FOR A FACT that he was taken to Hogwarts as part of Vlad Masters' latest scheme, but nothing about that makes him think that getting back to Amity Park should be his top priority. It wouldn't even be that hard! The controller that deactivates the collar is always on Lupin, right? So all Danny has to do is stand up during Harry Potter's defense class and say, "Hey, just wanted to let you all know that my job as a ghost is to protect my town from what are basically super-powered dementors that feed on the fear of the populace. This collar I'm wearing keeps me trapped in this castle while my people are terrorized and my friends are no doubt slaughtered. Lupin could free me, but he's too busy being a dick. Anyone want to help me save lives?" And with Harry/Hermione's help, he could turn the class to his side and get the remote. Failing that, Harry Potter is known for getting into all kinds of trouble. If Danny simply explained his situation to the Trio and told them why he needed to escape, they would undoubtedly be up for either stealing the remote back, or just finding a way to break the collar off. Whatever he chooses, there are TONS of easily exploitable methods to get back to Amity.

Again, I do think this story is fun, and I understand that in order for Danny to properly mix with the HP characters he needs to stay at Hogwarts, but I just can't suspend my disbelief hard enough for the scenario you've set up. This story should play more like Danny's been kidnapped and is desperate to get back to the city that needs him, but instead he seems totally fine with wandering around the castle getting into various hijinks. The only way Danny would be this complacent is if he knew that his town was being taken care of, and that if he were to leave the castle by any means he'd be instantly captured for experimentation. Instead, he appears to be completely fine with being held against his will and treated like a dangerous animal while his arch nemesis wreaks havoc on his friends and family. I just can't get behind a protagonist that never acts like an actual person.
4/20/2018 c4 25543mj
*starts passing out bottles of Greek Fire*
“You would need a special kind of Hell to burn VladP
4/18/2018 c19 Susiex
Awesome story! Congrats!
4/10/2018 c6 DragonRyd3r
"Occasional lust for boxes" HAHAHAHAHA
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