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10/10/2015 c2 12Dixxy
When i received that mail notifying me your update yesterday, i always thought that my eyes were betraying me. That it was all a mirage.

Because after 4 months of waiting, it honestly seemed unreal. And i objectively guess ya won't hard feelings to me if i confess that i had almost given up on ya. I had already considered writing to ya, several times actually, yet couldn't bring myself to doing it.

And then this truthfully unexpected update fell like a pebble in the pond, disturbing the quiet of the waters and created those spreading circles that told of novelty.

So thanxxxx a bunch for this unhoped-for publishing ! Glad that ya haven't "called it a story" and actually envision to take it a step further (with a pretty worrying title, actually...)

This new chapter was nice, and pleasingly correct on both grammatical and orthographic level, as well as syntactic one. Three "dimensions" that honestly regularly were "lacking" in so many stories, not the three of them simultaneously, thankfully.

It was interesting to consider the alternance of registers, wz a pretty worrying first part, and a more reflective part after. And those considerations abt the characters, wz the relating descriptions, were really nice and interesting.

I 'm looking forward to your next post... assuming it will come one day, eh ! XD Hopefully not in 4 months, duuuuuuh ! Fair teasing, eh ?

Thanxxxx again and good luck, much inspiration to ya !

Take care !

&&&& Léo &&&&
6/11/2015 c1 Dixxy
Hey SBO9 !

I thought i'd be the first to review but my dear friend Hahli Nuva pipped me to the post, as he just reviewed... bah, never mind ! ;)

So, i had really liked yr BROKEN but thought that, like many MBC authors, ya were done wz MBC story writing on here. After all, one has to admit that the MCB archive on FF has become somewhat dull, and that there are not only less stories out, but that there are also kinda less interesting than those of the great MBC era (basically 2010-2013), with such gifted authors as SONGBIRD123 (formerly BEACHBABE123), SKYCHILD 101 (formerly BLOOD-OF-SILVER), FLARINGFRIENDLYLOVER, HAHLI NUVA...

Anyway, long story made short, glad to see that ya haven't said yr last (MBC) word, and that ya propose another MBC story. And honestly, this is way better than many MBC fic's posted these past months.

I'm honestly magnetized by the plot ya propose : a fracture in the friendship of the Famous Four is sth original, well at least far more original than all those MBC romances that truthfully seem mushy/soppy to me and, given their great number, really not original, topic-wise. I'll prefer stories involving dramatic events or catchy adventures, coz they're always far better, scenario-wise.

SO yeah, the web of yr plot is admirably woven, and i'm sincerely excited to read the next part ! You've gotten my full attention, and all i hope now is that the rest will be of equal if not superior quality than this excellent first chapter... and that it won't sink into the abyss of romantic stuff, where all that seems to matter is love between characters and so little else (mawkish stuff, bleeeeeh, how naive and ridiculous !)

The only negative feedback i'll have for this truly prime beginning addresses the form of yr story. There are some incorrect syntax turns and some words oblivions here and there, and i'm not sure everything was okay grammar-wise, but i'll say that it is in general correct. Yet a great PLUS to ya for ensuring a flawless - or at least apparently flawless, as far as i can remember - spelling, as i don't recall seeing any typo. Which is a not-so-small quality in story writing, given the number of texts i'v read which contains many typos and obviously hadn't been re-read and corrected before publishing. So a great thumb up to ya for this effort !

Right, guess i said it all. I do hope yr story will receive much more feedback than the two reviews ya already got (Hahli's and mine), coz it damn deserves it : yr storyline sounds very exciting and ya could produce a really terrific fiction if ya develop it at best. Fingers crossed ya will, and i'm confident yr fic' will continue just as awesome as it has just started.

Once again, bravo for this top-notch start and thanxxxx for giving us all a pretty catchy MBC story to eagerly follow !

And hop ! , here's another follow AND favorite for the MBC archive ! ;)

Take care and please try to write on asap !

! Léo ?
6/11/2015 c1 15Hahli Nuva
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