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for Star's Journey: The Moonstone Fragment

1/28/2016 c15 9PJ Blindclown
A brilliant conclusion to a brilliant story! :)

Rodda really loves going for that "united we stand, divided we fall" theme, and you've captured that so beautifully in this chapter.

When we compare how the people of Rin reacted to having one young Zebak boy in their midst, with the way the Zebak people responded to all the Rinfolk, you really need to wonder just who are the prejudiced ones here.

Now, I'm off to read this next book of yours.
PJ
1/28/2016 c14 PJ Blindclown
I'm pretty sure that I reviewed this chapter before, but I forgot to mention how cool I thought the magic fiddle was.

To be honest, I believe that music in all its forms actually does have magical properties, however you look at magic. For one thing, it's the one and only language that all humans (and many animals for that matter) can understand...
PJ
1/4/2016 c13 PJ Blindclown
Oh, I just love Star and Zan.

We also got to see the bit that you mentioned to me earlier, with Zirita and Misha showing up at the meeting. That was probably one of the most powerful moments in this chapter, though Vivi returning the stolen jewellery was right up there too.

I'm actually a bit bummed that there's only one more chapter left, I've been enjoying this story so much. :)
PJ
11/12/2015 c12 30KM2000
This was wonderful as always. :) It's nice to see the plot moving along so much now. And yeah I noticed the Forley/Alanis ship when Forley was going to apologise to Alanis for upsetting her. It's nice- I like them as a couple. :) And it's sad to think of Leah and Alanis having all these problems. I felt really saddened at Leah snapping that there's obviously something wrong with her, because it sounded so bitter and pessimistic. There's nothing wrong with her- her brain is just different from everyone else's. That's not a bad thing.

Haha, I loved Zan's line 'Zamiel is going to hate this'. It seems like that's becoming a catch-phrase for every time Thora does something that goes against what Zamiel wants.

I don't think Star of Deltora will mess with our headcanons much. You'll probably see, whenever you get to reading Two Moons.
11/10/2015 c12 9PJ Blindclown
I think the main thing that struck me here was Zizi's cuteness. I would write you a longer review, but as you know, I've had a bit going on recently.

As for Britta, I don't think she's going to mess up your headcannon, or mine, for that matter. I think that's why Rodda has been vague about timelines and the such, so that she doesn't completely ruin our ideas.
PJ
10/13/2015 c11 PJ Blindclown
Aww, that moment with Star and Zan and the broken leg was just... So touching. I think I had quite forgotten that he had blue eyes. I like him even more, now.

And we have also come to the meaning of this story's title. But... I thought the secret name thing would be that of Vivi and Zizi, not that of the people of Rin. Though, what you've done here does make sense.

I am very, very much looking forward to the next chapter of this thing, because this one has just about made my day. :)
Keep it Up,
PJ
10/13/2015 c10 PJ Blindclown
Yes, I do like the subplot with June and her dancing. I always find characters who are into performing arts particularly interesting. And what a clever way to get her to the meeting, eh!

Oh, Zirita and Misha. I've gotta say, Freida, you really do know how to tug at the heartstrings.

On that same note, I really do believe you should put up some of these backstories, for an older audience, of course. I'd really like to know more here.
PJ
10/13/2015 c9 PJ Blindclown
This is making me seriously wish I'd actually finished reading the Rowan series...

I think I missed a lot of stuff in this chapter for that very reason. Either way, it was very well written (I'm repeating myself loads here) and I'm curious as to what has happened to them after the fall.
PJ
10/13/2015 c8 PJ Blindclown
Again, another brilliant chapter. :)

You capture the image of extreme poverty so well, without it sounding like what we call "poverty porn". We don't feel sorry for these people, we just know that they're there, like any other characters in the story. That is a real gift you've got there. Many writers try and fail to get it right, but you've done it perfectly here.

I did notice a few spelling and grammar errors here and there, but really, they couldn't distract me from the story. You've really got me caught up in this world that you've half-created, and I still haven't read the Rowan series yet. I'll get around to it at some point, honestly, I will.
Keep it Up,
PJ
7/28/2015 c7 PJ Blindclown
Yes... I can see that. ;)

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Zirita, but at the same time, felt a little annoyed at her, backing out on them like that.

So Star, Zan and the others are going to old Rin, through what is no doubt, quite litterily, a shithole. Interesting...
Keep it up,
PJ
7/28/2015 c7 30KM2000
Yet another great chapter!

I really love how this fic really gets to my heart. When I read about Zirita, it made me feel surprisingly sad. You show really well just how cruel and unfair slavery can be, and how bad it is to treat people like chattel. The backstory (I'm not sure what else to call it) you gave about Zirita really highlighted that.

This chapter does seem to be almost like a filler chapter which is meant to lead into the next chapter. I just noticed that...

I did find some typos, but they didn't take away from the story.

Otherwise, I really liked it. It was very engaging and well-written.

Well done! :)
7/17/2015 c6 KM2000
Yay, you updated! :) This was so nice, though there was no true action. It was nice to see Zeel, Star and co together again, and it was just generally nice to read about the peaceful and settled atmosphere and just them being a family. Hopefully it stays that way!

Though I did wonder at one point about Rowan and the others in Rin, and how no one (except maybe Zeel) in Bhlai House seems to express any homesickness or that they miss Allun or Marlie or Rowan or Jiller or Jonn. Granted, they'd probably be too busy to think about missing relatives, especially Star and Forley. And since the story's told by Star, I guess it's possible that the supporting cast do think of those left behind in Rin but it's never pointed out because it's not a part of the main plot. Still, the thought just came to me.

And also, not that I'm complaining or anything, but don't characters in Rodda's DQ-universe stories simply refer to their mothers as 'mother' or 'mama', and their fathers as 'father' or 'papa'? Star always calls Zeel 'mum', which did surprise me just the tiniest bit. I don't really find it bad, though. I think it suits Star's character. Star seems to be pretty open-minded and progressive, at least to me, so her calling Zeel 'mum' isn't really that strange-sounding.

I like how this fic has mostly been relaxed and easy-going so far-a lot of other 'overthrow the system' stories tend to be very tense and full of action and bloody, in my experience (and I'm mostly talking about Mockingjay here, as well a few Twilight 'take down the Volturi' fics, and also the Uglies trilogy). This is a nice change. Though I guess we can't really expect it to last. :( Zadina can't be ignorant of her people's rebellion forever, can she?
7/17/2015 c6 9PJ Blindclown
I knew that Sheba was going to die from the previous book, but that certainly didn't make it any less sad. I think she was also one of my favourites when I was small... :(

I know that you've said you won't put up a Rowan chapter, but I'm really wondering how he's doing. I mean, I know he's probably very sad and all, but... Doesn't he have any kind of plan to get his wife and daughter back? Surely, surely, he should do something...

And Star and Zan, I feel like they've hit a turning point here. You didn't say much, but then, you didn't need to. There's just this feeling that their relationship has progressed and that only good things can come of it.
Keep it up,
PJ
7/13/2015 c5 30KM2000
The first thing I thought when I was reading the first chapter, was that Rowan must be going crazy back in Rin, having been without his wife and daughter for six months now! I almost kinda feel sorry for him for that... and the fact that he has no idea that Zeel's pregnant. :0 I wonder how that will turn out? It seems like Zeel will probably have the baby in the Zebak lands (because I have no idea how she'd be able to be moved without being noticed, what with having a big belly in the way), which would be an interesting development. And then after the baby's born, what will happen? What on earth do Zebak do to babies that are newly born?

Anyway, that's just my fascinated, curious, excited side showing. Because this fic is really intriguing me right now, and I can't get enough of it. ;) The six-months-later beginning surprised me, because I did think that this fic would continue straight off from where the previous one ended. It gave me a contented feeling inside, maybe because the characters seemed very settled in and relaxed and safe. Zeel being six months pregnant was a shock, and I still find it sad that she is so far from home and with child and Rowan knows nothing about it. Part of me wishes that Rowan will get off his sorry butt soon and rush off to Zebak city to reunite with her. He's missing out on so much action! :D

Zeel's plight really got to me when I was reading, and I really hope that her part of the story has a happy ending. Meaning that she reunites with Rowan soon and Zeel reveals that she's pregnant (or if she's already had the child, which I suspect will be the case) and Rowan weeps manly tears of joy and heartbreak. Even though she's clearly in safe and pleasant company, she's got to be missing Rowan.

So, you can see that I really like this story, because I'm wondering about it so much. :) The writing is great, the plot is fantastic and intriguing, and the characters are interesting. It makes me feel so many emotions. There haven't been many fics which have made me feel this excited, so thanks for that. :D I'll definitely be waiting for the next update.
7/12/2015 c5 9PJ Blindclown
Oh, I was so chuffed when you made the majority of this chapter from Zizi's POV. He's one of my favourite characters in this story, you know.

I also loved your use of the code, and believe it or not, it only took me five minutes to work it out. I expected it to take a lot longer...

Also, I agree that Doran would've had contact with the Zebak people, after all, he wanted to explore the whole world, not just Deltora.

I'm really looking forward to your next chapter. I'm really loving this story you've got going, which I didn't expect to do because I still haven't read the rest of Rowan.
Keep it up,
PJ
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