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for meet team nffd

8/10/2015 c6 Me
Fernus's and Felcia's Arguments are a bit forced.
Couldn't get over the "Neria the jerk" part.
6/19/2015 c2 12MysteryAgain
Okay, since this is your first fanfic, I've got some tips.

First and foremost, make sure your grammar is at its best, even in the summary. Most people won't bother reading a story if it's hard for them to read. Review comma rules, especially when it comes to speech and run-on sentences. Also, the paragraph format is a little tricky to read. I'd recommend not putting spaces between lines that are part of the same paragraph.

The other is the pacing. You're actually moving kind of fast. You've introduced five characters, but there hasn't been much on them that gives me a good picture of who each of them are. A little more detail would help. :)

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