1/30/2016 c1 34WaitingGermanluver1
OMG this is soooo cute!

6/28/2015 c1 2xaandiir
I've actually really been looking forward to reading this after you first mentioned the idea shortly after I joined the forum! The Belarus/S. Korea pairing is new to me, so this is sure to be an interesting experience!

Just from the warning itself, I would recommend not mentioning OOC-ness, even if it's slight. It will turn some people away from the story, and if your story is engrossing enough, then it won't matter if they seem slightly out of character because it will seem natural in the story!

I noticed that you'll write something such as ' "I like you a lot." Arthur said ' (I'm just making up examples). When ending a sentence in quotations and including something like 'Person A said/spoke/yelled/any other speaking verb', instead of putting a period down to mark the end of the sentence, you put a comma. This way the sentence would instead look like ' "I like you a lot," Arthur said. '

The period at the end of 'Arthur said' would signify the end of the sentence in this case. If you were continuing the sentence such as "I don't know if you know, but I like you" and you broke up the sentence so that 'Arthur said' was in the middle, it would look like this ' "I don't know if you know," Arthur said, "but I like you." ' In this way, the period in the second half of the sentence signifies the end. Because you're breaking it up in the middle, the period that used to be after 'said' is now a comma because the sentence in continuing and 'but' is not capitalized.

Similarly, if you had an action before dialogue, then you should end the dialogue with a period. For instance you once wrote "Scotland held his hands up, 'Fine, then what brings ya here.'" The comma after 'up' should actually be a period since it is its own sentence. If the sentence was instead 'Scotland held his hands up and said' then there would be a comma since the dialogue that follows is still the same flowing sentence.

Also, after a sentence, if you're going to have something other than a name (ie "the American said") then instead of something like ' "I like burgers," The American said. ' it would read as ' "I like burgers," the American said. ' It all reads as one continuous sentence so you don't capitalize the word right after the dialogue unless it's a name.

Sorry about that long grammar lesson there! I also wanted to say that some of your sentence structure is a little odd. You'll have some run-on sentences in places and at other times a comma is needed or a semicolon is used incorrectly, and sometimes you'll have randomly capitalized words or you'll accidentally omit a word altogether, etc. It's just some things that you need to work on and learn to recognize yourself. You could always get a beta to read over and edit your stories if you want to, but the more you learn, the easier it will be!

Alright, now that I have my grammar bits out of the way, let me talk about the story itself!

The bits of foreign language, though always nice to throw in every so often, would be better if there was a translation for it at the end of the story. I could always use Google Translate, but it's easier to have an Author's Note to show that there was a reason you used that word instead of just throwing random Russian into the mix.

Didn't Yong Soo say that his house was one block away? The next day he said it was two!
The 'stereotypical jock looking jacket' is called a varsity jacket :)

I'm not sure if this is just what South Korea's character is like, but people typically don't include text speak (ie 'lol') in letters. Then again, S. Korea could just be the kind of person to do that!

Awww he ended the letter with 'love'! That's so cute! That whole last bit with the letter was too cute! These two seem like they would make a good couple, and I'd love to see what else you'll write with the two of them! Good job! :)