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for The Picnic

7/9/2015 c2 ellie
this was really good :) poor anna I wonder what she will do next. If she will make the first move/
7/4/2015 c1 19glittering-snowfall
I love this so far and can't wait to see where you're going to go with it. I especially enjoy how devoted the Elsa and Anna are to each other.
7/3/2015 c1 19gregterry480
Weirdest moment of this story: Elsa using the word "fart."

Kidding aside, this is shaping up to be pretty cute. The lighthearted dialogue is nice, even though I honestly skimmed over a few parts of this due to it being ElsAnna. But, remember I'm not really "for" ElsAnna (nor "against it"), so don't take my word on that aspect. For whatever reason, I always think of Elsa feeling "warm" like everyone else, but you made it a part of the story, so I can see why you did it in this case.

One thing I did really like is that you had Elsa express her love for Anna over and over again. Forgetting the sexual way Anna was taking these things, I can easily imagine Elsa being overly apologetic and maybe swamping herself with too much guilt over the way things went. "I love you more than life itself. I always have." Of course Anna would understand that, but I can see Elsa feeling the need to repeat it a lot, even if she didn't "need to." These two have always loved each other more than anything, and your writing got that across, even if your story is obviously heading in...well, "non-sisterly" directions.

My only "advice" for the future since I don't know much about writing ElsAnna would be to find a good "splitting place" for your chapters. This way your story would get twice as much traffic. Granted, the longest chapter I've ever done for one of my stories is around 2,000 words, so maybe I'm not one to talk. But your story appears "on top" every time it's updated. More people are likely to see it that way. :)
7/2/2015 c1 Guest
This is very cute! I'm very interested to read more of this. Their back and forth conversation is some of the most cheery and lighthearted I've read so far.
7/2/2015 c1 3Waldengarver
This is just wonderful and heartfelt and sweet. Great work.
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