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for A False Utopia

8/24/2016 c9 Guest
That. Was. AMAZING! It was a breathtaking chapter, man. The intense fight scenes and the oh-so-despairing vibe, and the part where Monofairy butted in and fought against Monocifer, only to get curbstomped. That was brutal.

Speaking of Monocifer, he is a total badass. He is just SOOO scary. However, I have to agree with Nemris, about his giving leeway to Monofairy. But knowing Monocifer, maybe its part of a sinister plan. Knowing him, he might have intentionally did that... Meaning that he WANTS the audience to think he is gave in and got pushed off. So no, my opinion of Monocifer hasn't lowered. In fact, it has skyrocketed! Please tell me that my theory about Monocifer pretending to be weak is real!

Asuka is amazing, by the way. She is now my favorite character. And I guess Norio would be a close second. Good luck on the next chapter.
8/20/2016 c9 6Nemris
What? They survived? Nobody died? Awwww
I was so sure Keisuke was gone when he got crunched by the boss. Would have been a nice start for the despair.
That was a decent boss fight, I would have liked more bodies but oh well, maybe next time. What bothered me a bit was that the pace felt kinda slow, the students had a lot of time just to converse with each other, it did not feel like they were desperately fighting to stay alive. The Drake was really easily distracted to focus on just one target.
Well Norio's part in this chapter more then made up for the last chapter. If they ever take on another boss again, and get weapons, Norio would probably use an axe or a pair to pay back this shameful defeat. Maybe he could cut out a scale from the beast and hang in from the cafeteria's wall or something, that would make one hell of a decoration.
I have to say, my opinion of the Monoficer lowered a bit. He kinda just gave in and got pushed around to make stuff easier for the students. He seems kinda of a pushover when he just allowed Monofairy to get away with all that. People might take him a bit less seriously now.
Thanks for the long and action packed chapter, looking forward to seeing what they will try next. I doubt they will try to take on the boss again anytime soon.
Keep up the good work.
8/17/2016 c9 1bluesnowkitty
Thanks for the long chapter! I really enjoyed it ~. There are still a few grammatical errors here and there, but it's quite minor. Something that would be nice to see would be to add a few more colors to make the story more vivid, don't worry if you have slight repeats between chapters because you aren't releasing them all at once, so we readers might not remember much from the previous chapter, so feel free to add descriptions of the scenery into the current chapter that you might have used in the previous one. That's just my opinion though. Overall, solid chapter and really liked the action. Keep it up! ;)
8/16/2016 c9 ProbablyAGuest
I absolutely love Asuka. I also love what I believe is the subtle setup for the Asuka x Dexter ship. Asukaxter? Or maybe DexAsuka?

"I also noticed that Asuka has become quite the fan favorite"

Fuck. If you're anything like Kodaka, then she's already dead. Why cruel world? Why must I have mainstream tastes. Why can't I like Seiko? He's an ass, and therefore guaranteed to live.
8/15/2016 c9 2IfTimeWasStill
Well, it started great and continued for the most part. I did get the real boss battle vibe even without an accompanying soundtrack. The fight was gripping, the despair was oh so hopeless... And then dinosaur ex machina... I'm a bit disappointed that we end up with an "everyone's fine, no need to worry". Maybe that's just me, but I'd been set for blood and came out with none.

Also, damn, Asuka is perfect. So glad I submitted her.
8/15/2016 c9 Samphsongsongsong
Tokiko powers... ARE from God father of time-

Yeah right. Is a mystery.

My birthday tomorow and I consider this as an early gift!

Hmm, those scenes are indeed... Be DRAWN!

Nyah!

Tokiko:"I think I have a fever... My head feels fuzzy..."

Take a rest, you are attending my party.

Tokiko:"What party?"

*Bzzzt
8/6/2016 c8 6Nemris
Sorry I am late, been busy like you would not believe, seriously.
Okay, I did not think they would actually decide to go and try to fight their way past the boss. Really interesting development. They have only couple of people that seem like capable enough fighters. They survived the drones just fine, and then, the real floor boss out of nowhere!
Yaaaah, I think they are kinda fugged. With no weapons, I think there is only one outcome for this. Someone is going to die, I am betting on it. But who will it be, that is the question.
Would have kinda hoped to see how Norio dealt with the drones. Maybe another time.
Boss battle incoming, I going to be taking shelter.
Keep up the good work.
7/28/2016 c8 Guest
Wow, what an amazing chapter! Honestly i think the length makes it very enjoyable.

Monocifer is a really cool antagonist. I think i like the way you portray him as obviously very powerful yet quirky at the same time. He can be pretty creepy though.

Then theres the combat room. Now thats a first in a dr syoc. Asuka is such a badass just casually tearing off drone heads like butter. I also did not expect that from the teen idol damn shes pretty and badass. Kensuke is also strong, as evidenced by miku in the previous chapters when she mentioned something about him wrestling bears. And that is very strong since bears are huge and can rip trees!

Im sorry about your lack of reviews. Its a shame really since this syoc is one of the better ones out there. Not prefect but really great. Why arent people reading this gem!?

I checked your profile. And most of the people who submitted a character don't even bother to review... I hope you dont quit writing just because of the lack of reviews, unlike some unfortunate syoc writer i know who quit. Pls keep writing
7/26/2016 c8 Samphsongsongsong
Dem reviews!

Well most are prob put from FFN (Not FNF sadly)

Talks about spoiler I accidently spoiler my third year senior about SDR2 while I thought he complete it whatsoever!

Hmmm, well you know your battle. You are a senpai *yandere mode

I shall kill my senpai...

*Tokiko came and turn off the camera

Tokiko:"You need sleep... Night."
7/25/2016 c8 PSISomething
Reviewing this right now before I get sidetracked like I usually do.

The Battle Room part has been the most unexpected thing I've seen out of a SYOC. It was very thrilling to read and I'm legitimately worried about the fate of the Utopics. False Utopia has become one of the most interesting out of the SYOC stories I've read on here, with twists on the formula like this.
Eagerly looking forward to the next chapter.
7/25/2016 c8 2IfTimeWasStill
Ok, DR fic formula out the window. Love it. Impending massacre. Love it.

And then the realisation that I actually really like these guys and don't want them to die. I know it's par for the course with this fandom, but I didn't expect to want people to survive.

There were a few little errors dotted around, mostly a single word missing from a sentence. Luckily, it didn't cause too many problems as it was easy to tell what the word was meant to be.
7/3/2016 c7 6Nemris
So it looks like we got to know Suzumi, Chihaya and Cass a bit better. I am not really sure what to think of Suzumi, there is just something that keep me from understanding her. Must be because We got to see a bit deeper side of her. Chihaya is a very peculiar person, and Cass seems a lot more nice and relaxed then I first though. Thou it might have been because how she reacted to hearing she was trapped in here. But seriously, what is with her painting talent? It seems like there is something important that we are not being told, and it is driving me crazy! You better tell us at some point.
I will become very busy for quite a while from now on, so don't wonder if my reviews will come extremely late.
Keep up the good work.
7/3/2016 c7 Shyjoker
Lazy log in, and not to mention to avoid Tokiko. Though to be frank, Tokiko would be all calm and oh, thats so? After the last time I send it to you long ago, before the Fire Nation calms down.

Though in many honesty, everytime I draw Miku I need to think Mickey mouse to use as a refference due her hair. Reminds me at some point.

Anyway, sad Tokiko didnt get it. I'm a scoundrel to vote my daugther of mine *Puhuhuhu

But meh, it was worth it anyway reading the story. To be frank most of time I skip the most (still skipping a little) to the important part of the chapter. But I find it enjoyable and quiet detailed. Though it gave me some weird signs.

Or just me, being all paranoid, and next day I forgot about this like nothing. I have problems.

*Tokiko with a grey beard appears and gives out a box of cheese pringless

*Opens dem pringles

Yeah, now my throat and tongue going have trouble with these box... Tokiko?

*Bleep
7/3/2016 c7 2IfTimeWasStill
Damn, that was long. Excellent read though. Really got in depth with these characters and Miku. Really starting to warm to the whole cast now. Some fun pop culture references in there too.

As for that bit with Chihaya, well, I ship it.
6/14/2016 c6 Samphsongsongsong
Oh my gawd! I didnt expect her other nature would be revealed this early! XD

Though it was pretty much revealed in the info about her. Nobody messes with her! Especially the idiots not know their places!

Tokiko:"Monodragonfly and Monofire is way cuter and adorable than that thing... what was it callled it again?"
Tokiko:"Is it Classifer?"
Tokiko:"Idioter?"
Tokiko:"Monokuri?"

Yeah, yeah, I can you are indeed- ehem, alluring *Coughing-puking

Tokiko:"Well then, please.. be glad... that... you have a shield to defend yourself..."
The theme became Sephiroth theme*
Tokiko:"Your pretty face... Will be the last of you...!"
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