for A Simple Teenage Shop Owner1/12 c44 Raven1302
Ok I only have one thing that is bugging me that is how come koneko isn't effected by Naruto being a god since she is a devil. Shouldn't banging her or kissing her actually harm her greatly since a simple prayer hurts devil kind? Other than that I will say this. I am greatfull of all the time and effort you have put into this story! I read the whole thing in 2 days without taking a break. It wasn't an outlandish plot it was a life struggle for Naruto with alot of forced pressure for him and he was able to will himself greatly.
I loved this story once again thank you.
Ok I only have one thing that is bugging me that is how come koneko isn't effected by Naruto being a god since she is a devil. Shouldn't banging her or kissing her actually harm her greatly since a simple prayer hurts devil kind? Other than that I will say this. I am greatfull of all the time and effort you have put into this story! I read the whole thing in 2 days without taking a break. It wasn't an outlandish plot it was a life struggle for Naruto with alot of forced pressure for him and he was able to will himself greatly.
I loved this story once again thank you.
1/9 c20 Lunar Eclipse ID
I've read up to Chapter 20, and here are my thoughts:
1. You had Koneko learn Senjutsu during the Rating Game arc, but in the next arc, it’s as if she never learned it. Come on, you can’t do that. It’s like Naruto forgetting Senjutsu after the Pain Arc—it just doesn’t make sense and feels inconsistent.
2. You owe us the equivalent of a Rasengan to Issei's face for making him see Koneko’s naked body. Seriously.
3. Is it really necessary to give Issei fanservice when Naruto and Koneko are in a relationship? It’s just not funny. I don’t see the point of giving fanservice moments to side characters when Naruto is clearly the main character.
4. Even if Naruto wasn’t the main character, it’s still not funny when other characters see his partner’s body. This applies to other couples too, like Sirzechs and Grayfia. It just feels disrespectful to their relationships.
Ignore my last three comments—maybe I’m just being too sentimental. But seriously, you can’t make Koneko inconsistent. You had her halfway to mastering Senjutsu, so it doesn’t make sense to act like she never learned it.
I've read up to Chapter 20, and here are my thoughts:
1. You had Koneko learn Senjutsu during the Rating Game arc, but in the next arc, it’s as if she never learned it. Come on, you can’t do that. It’s like Naruto forgetting Senjutsu after the Pain Arc—it just doesn’t make sense and feels inconsistent.
2. You owe us the equivalent of a Rasengan to Issei's face for making him see Koneko’s naked body. Seriously.
3. Is it really necessary to give Issei fanservice when Naruto and Koneko are in a relationship? It’s just not funny. I don’t see the point of giving fanservice moments to side characters when Naruto is clearly the main character.
4. Even if Naruto wasn’t the main character, it’s still not funny when other characters see his partner’s body. This applies to other couples too, like Sirzechs and Grayfia. It just feels disrespectful to their relationships.
Ignore my last three comments—maybe I’m just being too sentimental. But seriously, you can’t make Koneko inconsistent. You had her halfway to mastering Senjutsu, so it doesn’t make sense to act like she never learned it.
11/25/2024 c4 insanecoop
Yea, I think that's about it for me.
I can see in the first chapter how you mentioned this isn't up to a high standard due to, im guessing the writing ability / maturity you had at the time, so I won't go on a long winded rant about everything, but sufficient to say you've identified that it could have been a lot better.
All in all, it's good for the less mature/critical thinkers of stories but otherwise not the best
Yea, I think that's about it for me.
I can see in the first chapter how you mentioned this isn't up to a high standard due to, im guessing the writing ability / maturity you had at the time, so I won't go on a long winded rant about everything, but sufficient to say you've identified that it could have been a lot better.
All in all, it's good for the less mature/critical thinkers of stories but otherwise not the best
11/25/2024 c1 insanecoop
It was a good opening till the end... then it dropped a lot.
Not even Naruto is dumb enough to allow someone to touch his face with mind altering magic.
So the logical reaction would have been to punch Rias in the face to get her way.
So I'll give this a below average intro chapter.
It was a good opening till the end... then it dropped a lot.
Not even Naruto is dumb enough to allow someone to touch his face with mind altering magic.
So the logical reaction would have been to punch Rias in the face to get her way.
So I'll give this a below average intro chapter.
11/23/2024 c44 Eurasian
Was fun to read. This practically turned into an original power fantasy story with cute dragons from Highschool DxD halfway through, but I'm not too dissatisfied.
Ophis and Lilith definitely had more potential. Koneko was kind of a waste, and many other problems are in this fic, and yet it was still not bad at all.
Was fun to read. This practically turned into an original power fantasy story with cute dragons from Highschool DxD halfway through, but I'm not too dissatisfied.
Ophis and Lilith definitely had more potential. Koneko was kind of a waste, and many other problems are in this fic, and yet it was still not bad at all.
9/24/2024 c18 
3Detsella Morningdew
Yeah, Naruto definitely isn't a loot goblin. I mean, despite it not fitting his style, he thought Zabuza's sword was awesome, but he used it as a grave marker. Respect for people was always more important than cool swords for him.
3Detsella MorningdewYeah, Naruto definitely isn't a loot goblin. I mean, despite it not fitting his style, he thought Zabuza's sword was awesome, but he used it as a grave marker. Respect for people was always more important than cool swords for him.
9/23/2024 c2 Detsella Morningdew
This is enjoyable to read, but I see what you mean - there's a lot here that got rushed over that I'd really have liked to read about properly instead of a summary. I'm still reading, but yep.
This is enjoyable to read, but I see what you mean - there's a lot here that got rushed over that I'd really have liked to read about properly instead of a summary. I'm still reading, but yep.
8/16/2024 c1 benabbaswissame
Angryowl please do remastered version of A Simple Teenage Shop Owner fanfic
Angryowl please do remastered version of A Simple Teenage Shop Owner fanfic
8/9/2024 c1 blackhulk89
one of my top ten stories ive had the privilege to read and enjoy. thank you very much
one of my top ten stories ive had the privilege to read and enjoy. thank you very much