for Jealousy9/29/2020 c1 James Birdsong
Groovy story of course
Groovy story of course
10/15/2019 c1 Meganrae1234
The idea is very cute however this was horribly written. I'm not sure how old you are or if maybe your native language is something other than English but this definitely needs work. The grammar isn't the best and a lot of the time there seemed to be words missing so a lot of the sentences seem very incomplete.
The idea is very cute however this was horribly written. I'm not sure how old you are or if maybe your native language is something other than English but this definitely needs work. The grammar isn't the best and a lot of the time there seemed to be words missing so a lot of the sentences seem very incomplete.
12/21/2015 c1 
7hannah.kaho
There are missing words and stuff. it sort of makes sense, but there seem to be a bit missing. I think i got the point though so it was nice...i don't know who flirted with Harry though it just says 'smile', you might want to re read it to see how it doesn't completely make sense, but its a good first go at it. :)
7hannah.kahoThere are missing words and stuff. it sort of makes sense, but there seem to be a bit missing. I think i got the point though so it was nice...i don't know who flirted with Harry though it just says 'smile', you might want to re read it to see how it doesn't completely make sense, but its a good first go at it. :)
9/18/2015 c1 10Kai19
This... the grammar was so terrible, I could barely figure out what was going on. I love the pairing, and the concept is nice, but please get a beta. I look forward to reading this once it's been fixed.
10Kai19This... the grammar was so terrible, I could barely figure out what was going on. I love the pairing, and the concept is nice, but please get a beta. I look forward to reading this once it's been fixed.
7/20/2015 c1 Guest
Great idea, terrible execution. The grammar is incredibly off. I love slash and while Tony/Harry is a ship I am fond of, this was just painful.
I am not sure if this is due to age (the writing seems immature so if you are young, that's something that gets better with age and schooling) or maybe English is not your native language.
I implore you give this story a second look. Once corrections are made this promises to be a cute story. If you can't do it I am sure you either know someone or might find someone online who can help.
Great idea, terrible execution. The grammar is incredibly off. I love slash and while Tony/Harry is a ship I am fond of, this was just painful.
I am not sure if this is due to age (the writing seems immature so if you are young, that's something that gets better with age and schooling) or maybe English is not your native language.
I implore you give this story a second look. Once corrections are made this promises to be a cute story. If you can't do it I am sure you either know someone or might find someone online who can help.