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3/23/2020 c4 CM200415
Update please
10/26/2017 c4 Yifto
I enjoyed the escape plan normally the kid hides out at the dursleys so yeah new stuff is good stuff.
8/24/2017 c1 NyxTheSnitch
After the first chapter, my critique is to use more full stops. I cannot comprehend sentences when they aren't sentences. Other than that pretty good so far.
1/28/2017 c4 15Arbiter Of Fire
Great job so far, too many reborn stories have them allowing things to happen when they can stop it and it gets tedious after a while. The only tip I can think of is to space out the dialogue when changing who speaks as there was several times I had to reread some of the dialogue. Keep up the good work.
11/20/2016 c4 5aalens
I've enjoyed this, thank you. You have asked for advice, so my advice is that you get a beta reader to edit your work prior to publishing it on FFN. A good beta reader would help correct the inevitable typos etc that creep into the work of all authors and might even be someone on whom you could bounce all your ideas.
Congratulations on writing an entertaining story so far.
11/20/2016 c1 aalens
I found the lack of punctuation and incredibly long sentences disconcerting at first, but once I got used to it I realised that it enhanced the feeling of continous flow of thoughts/consciousness from the narrator. I'm now keen to read on. Thanks.
11/19/2016 c4 fightingstoryaddiction
Awesome fic but How did the family vault get destroyed!?
7/28/2015 c1 1FearaNightmare
You have a lot of run on sentences. I just started the first chapter and had to stop. The first "Paragraph" pretty much has two sentences (only a period and question mark with a lot of comma's) in it. It could be split into about three paragraphs in truth.
It is similar with the next two paragraphs. It would be wise to try and add more punctuation and less comma's to separate a thought or action. Along with trying cut the three paragraphs into multiple paragraphs.
7/25/2015 c4 Guest
Please update soon again
7/24/2015 c4 1RebeliousOne
Figures Snape saw Harry. I'm curious to see how he avoids Dumbles. The reaction to his escape will be priceless. Will he find out about getting the bindings and horcrux removed? Personally, I think that is all Harry needed to do, getting rid of his horcrux that is, against Voldie. I'm curious to see how committed this Harry is to slaying the dark lord when Dumbles is no better. By the way, will the wards let Dumbles in?
7/22/2015 c3 RebeliousOne
Yes! Usually these type of fics have the people being fans of Dumbles and co not changing all that much. Hopefully Harry stays hidden causing Dumbles to pull out his hair. Will he get the horcrux removed as well as getting the bindings removed? Magic tutors via oaths? I'd LOVE it if he went to a new school and left the horcruxes to the goblins for a fee. Although, it would be fun to see him stun everyone by not being what they expected. Not having a scar would freak them out as well if you plan on doing that.
7/18/2015 c2 lalola
idid write to chapter about my oc being reborn as harry potter
I let him let the letter not being read by the dursely so they adopt him
he knew about magic as he used to read those story to his grand child
I wonder if you let him live with them or let him live with a nighboor no 6
it will be great, i think it's better not to let the haurox dissappeard so fast
I planed to make it like the final book for me.
Let the durselys not find a letter and write what will they do to him
let harry at mid night go to someone else house and write from there

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