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for forever and again

12/27/2002 c3 16Anne McSommers
good so far but i need a little more to make an accurate judgement
12/25/2002 c3 Guest
Although your punctuation has improved, it still leaves a lot to be desired. Misspelled words are still a problem as well as incorrect paragraphing. However, the story seems interesting and has a lot of potential. Try a little harder on the mechanics of your writing, and this story will definitely be a winner.
12/25/2002 c3 Isabelle
You have an interesting beginning. Tom having vision? Who is this girl? Does she know Tom? Is she causing his pain? I'm looking forward to know more.
12/24/2002 c3 5Dying Redshirt Ensign
Much better, although you might want to redo the first two chapters. First impressions are everything.
12/24/2002 c3 10Cat C
You have an interesting plot but you really need to spell check your story. You need to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes and you must captalize the people's names. If you don't have a good grammar and spell checking program, please get a beta reader. (I'd be willing to read your story if you'd like.) I believe you'd get more readers if you go back and re-submit the first 2 chapters with the appopriate changes. Don't give up because of technical errors, you do have the creative thoughts; just need a little tweaking.
12/24/2002 c2 8katta16
hi, it's me . i was just about to sumit a reveiw when i checked my emils and u told me it was out. i think it's really good plot and i defintely want to read the next chapter soon. The only thing i would sugest is to either make your chapters longer, or, make sure you post them very often so you don't lose the readers interest. i really hope u get the next part out very soon. speak to u on msn later. well done for finally working out how to get you fanifc posted!
12/23/2002 c2 5Dying Redshirt Ensign
Formatting, formatting...things are a bit hard to read with everything clumped together like that. A few spelling and punctuation mistakes, and you might try using quotation marks (you know, "these" things) instead of the single dash. Capitalization is also an issue...
12/23/2002 c1 4Kathy59
First, are you aware that you only accept signed reviews. Now on to what I think. Looks like your off to a good start. I did notice a couple of minor spelling mistakes, but no big deal. Keep going.
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