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10/31 c1 Randomjack2
I knows it been a while since this story died. But I was wondering do you have any plans to finish it or rewrite it in the future?
10/24 c24 4mongodatroll
This was an exercise in literally watching somebody get better as they went. In the way that your writing was maybe a bit sketchy when you started, but I have seen oodles of improvement even to here. I want to specify that your concepts, plot, and characterizations don't bother me at all, very interesting developments all around. (Though I think a few variations on pet names might be worthy. Nobody can get called 'sweetie' that often without dropping into a homicidal rage, I have it on good authority.) No, your only issues are the same ones that many people have starting out, things like the first-person view and using "I" so often it gets painful after a while, and the odd typo. Obvious you are using a spellchecker, so good job there. But there are a few issues that a beta reader might catch. Things like 'quite' when it was supposed to be 'quiet' and 'to' when it should have been 'too.' Nothing bad enough to break immersion, so I wouldn't stress on it too much. But little things you may want to watch out for.
For what it's worth, a lot of these are problems I know intimately because I constantly find them creeping into my own work. Trust me, I am not in any way looking down on anybody.
Hoping you come back to it at some point, and have a great day!
7/9 c1 5Renee.Sarah
This is so I can follow this story. Fanfiction .net has gotten V special with mobile. Good story mostly though.
6/12 c12 6TheClowningPrince
Gah, her and Amy together are so CUTE!
3/31 c24 JanessaVR
Darn shame this is a deadfic. I was rather enjoying it.
3/20 c24 Guest
This is really good, shame it hasn't been updated in years
3/14 c24 Darkepyon
Just finished reading your story great job and nice written. )
3/14 c24 Argent Stonecutter
I don't think organic lasers would actually fly. Really efficient lasers are maybe 30% efficient, which means if you're delivering X watts of laser energy at the surface of Skidmark's body, you have to dissipate more than 2X watts in your laser organ.
2/7 c24 Ben113
Still love this, still hope for more.
1/11 c24 gremlin914
A fantastic fic both for the kicka** moments as well as the sweet and mushy feels. I hope this story continues.
12/20/2020 c21 Guest
The way you handled circus' pronouns made me physically ill. If you don't know if someone's gender, THEN USE "THEY" AND "THEM" NOT "S/HE" AND "HE/R", HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS!
Especially not when someone is talking, try to say "s/he" exactly as spelled out loud without sounding like an idiot (s-slash-he or s-he) or saying "she" (ignoring the slash)
12/14/2020 c13 BlackStarMage
Gosh so overdramatic, just wait till no ones around then punch her in the throat, it easy.
12/13/2020 c8 BlackStarMage
Did I imagine Taylor saying earlier in the chapter too Amy that she doesnt like boys? Because I can imagine no other reason for the last 2 paragraphs about how Amy would just be Taylor's friend.
12/13/2020 c4 BlackStarMage
I'm no doctor, but doesnt 6 minutes without oxygen to the brain lead to some pretty sever brain damage? I remember reading somewhere that that Canadian ti things like missing memory slurred or even inability to speech, and lacking motor functions. Again not a doctor, but fairly certain it's still true.
12/3/2020 c24 LordGrimstorm
Okay, so I just have to say that I love this story, and am quite sad to see that it has been abandoned. I hope that is not due to anything particularly bad, like illness or something. The initial setup for Legion was brilliant; I haven't seen that kind of change to the whole locker situation in any of the dozens of fics I've read. I also love they dynamic between Amy and Taylor, how they helped each other become somewhat normal humans, at least on the social interaction level, where normally they are both completely terrible at that and for good reason. I was really looking forward to where this was going to go with some of the story hooks that were there. All in all, this is up there in my favorite fics, now.

All that positive said, I have to point out some things that I noticed:
So, when Taylor first learned that she had powers, but didn't know what they were yet, she had at least considered telling Danny that she had powers, as soon as she knew what they were. She never did that, which is fine, people can change their minds, but she never even thought about it again.

Another thing, Danny never acknowledged that they now have a cat. Sure, Taylor didn't have her upstairs reading for her when Danny was around, but he did occasionally go down in the basement, and the cat lived down there, so I'd figure he'd have seen her at some point and wondered about their new house member.

You never stated clearly in the story why Carol was obviously making an effort to be a better mom to Amy. I'm glad that she is, because that's always been a sore point of mine on the whole "Amy having issues" front, but it would have been nice to know why Carol had this change in behavior.

When Vicky was telling Amy about the night the Barnes family came over for dinner, and brought up Emma possibly having some kind of hidden trauma, Amy neither said anything such as "oh, who cares, she was a jerk to Taylor" or something like that, which I actually wouldn't have expected her to do, but she also didn't even think anything like, "Hmm, maybe that is WHY she was a jerk to Taylor all of a sudden, which Taylor had wondered about..."

And finally, minor Grammar/Spelling Nazi complaint, quite often you use 'than' when it should be 'then' or vice versa. Really not a huge deal, but is occasionally distracting. All of THAT said, I will definitely be re-reading this one at some point. And if you magically decide to continue with more chapters even though it's been at least a few years, I will be super duper happy. Thanks for writing a great story.
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