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for Legion

3/5/2017 c24 veritas31
I just realised that theoretically you have now made Amy and Taylor immortal as They have such fine control over their bodies that they can reverse all the effects of aging on the Dna and cells in their bodies.
3/4/2017 c13 sagara black
Taylor is like the combined version of extremis from iron man and blacklight from prototype thanks to amy only a matter of time before a great many things happen it just is an idea that changes everything ... GREAT STORY
2/28/2017 c24 4epain
This is an interesting story. When will Taylor use her Pied Piper costume? Did Sophia intentionally add some Tinker-made pathogens to Taylor's locker or were those dangerous pathogens somewhere in the garbage?
2/28/2017 c5 epain
Why did Brandish refuse to speak to Miss Militia?
2/24/2017 c24 Blackknight360
Great chapter. Thank you.
2/22/2017 c24 Guest
Very good
2/22/2017 c24 Vipermagi
I got the email saying Legion had been updated and was quite happy, then I saw it was just shy of twenty-three thousand words long and was VERY happy.

As far as critiques go, throughout the entire story, both Taylor and Amy have remarkably similar vocabularies, and that vocabulary probably fits Victoria's personality more than either the shy girl from the bad neighborhood or the shy girl in a media attention family that is probably upper middle class. It's not in the slightest bit important from a story perspective, but if you ever decide to go back and touch up the story, it might be something to look at.
2/21/2017 c24 SaintMichael95
Love the story, but there is such a thing as too much detail. For example, we don't need to read every single step that Taylor does to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Those are not important to the story and so most of us readers just skim over those superfluous sections. Please take that into consideration.
2/21/2017 c24 Domyvat
Good story, good chapter, insert more generic compliments here. Just one thing, be careful not to slip too far into technobabble (you haven't yet, just thought I'd say it) since it gets sort of tiring to read and most of us (or at least lazy people like me) just skim it to make sure there's nothing important. If it's only going to show up once or twice or it's not terribly important, you probably shouldn't explain it in too much detail, makes the story feel much faster.
2/20/2017 c24 9Gremlin Jack
Its a good thing you're such a great writer. You can make extremely slow chapters interesting and worth reading. Yes, I know I've complained about the slow pacing in every one of my reviews. It's just, you've got such a brilliant set up, you know. It's not even that I want fight scenes. Any of the things Taylor is working on... the clothes selling, the jewelry business - I want to see how that goes. Here you talked so much about the prep for Lord's market that I'm so eager to see how the public takes her artistic efforts.
2/20/2017 c7 Sokat
I can't keep reading this, it's a chore, with all the useless, filler dialogue. Like in the Hospital, how many chapters was that? 4 or 5 chapters of just Amy and Taylor sitting in bed talking, literally. How about spreading those conversations to when they actually know each other and they feel more comfortable talking about it? It feels extremely unnatural to just have them spill their guts in an unending stream of exposition without any real substance. You are really good at writing how a character feels but those little gems are hidden beneath a literal mountain of inconsequential filler.

For example, the third to last paragraph of chapter 7, instead of writing those 4 and a half lines of Taylor telling her dad she wants to get into shape how about just write Taylor getting into shape in a later chapter? Real people don't discuss absolutely every little thing about everything at everytime they have a chance.

This might come off as harsh but I absolutely hate it when a good story is burdened by unending amounts of filler and inconsequential writing.
2/20/2017 c24 shugokage
Great job on this chapter and funny ending scene!
2/20/2017 c24 4Greatazuredragon
Always glad to see a new chapter for this story.
Very nice work, really liked the raid against the dogfighting ring and Taylor remote assistance.
Great work, keep it up.
2/20/2017 c24 Guest
Love the detail, especially for all the little so-called unimportant parts of the various character's lives.

Still, getting very worried that all these good times are going to come crashing down.
2/20/2017 c24 13troyguffey
Amy has changed classes: She went from Cleric to Paladin with a level of Artificer. Taylor is a Druid/Fighter/Artificer. (Luckily, this isn't a true class system, those are just templates)
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