Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Uchiha Tokeo

11/27/2018 c5 4eragon95159
In rewrited wersion hermione and her famili is teleported with harry probaly give him another name.
10/6/2018 c5 5Tychon
Despite my earlier joke review, I really liked this. Even though it’s a bit Gary-Sue-ish, it was a fun read. Good luck.
10/6/2018 c2 Tychon
DaBaTaYo
11/11/2017 c4 Guest
KEEP WRITING PLZZZZZZ
7/27/2017 c5 eruki-sama
My thoughts for this story is fine by me. But I agree with #Uchiha Salad for reviews. Well, my suggestions is continue this story. I look forward for your update.
7/22/2017 c1 Rendgi
Urghh... It's horrible!
7/21/2017 c5 5Uchiha Salad
Well, you shouldn't make Harry change into a completely different character, for starters.

At no point in time has Harry ever been seen crying over the treatment at the Dursleys. In fact, he made it a point to try and ignore his upbringing and would be uncomfortable even talking about it. If you wanted to have a character that cried over everything, then it would be better if you cut out the whole "Harry being kidnapped" thing or him being Harry entirely. Harry isn't one who is afraid, or openly shows it if he can help it. He's a kid that grew up in an abusive environment and weakness isn't something that he would show to people he doesn't even know. Familial bonds or not. It's why the kid is so sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor. You began the story with Harry defeating a basilisk - a feat that this person you've replaced Harry with wouldn't be able to accomplish.

I know he is now taking his true identity as Tokeo, but first and foremost, he is Harry Potter.

It is this identity that he has known for a majority of his life, and just because he takes on another name, doesn't mean he becomes a completely different person. He wouldn't suddenly become someone else, just because he learned of his origins.

If you want my advice, cut out this cry baby who needs his hand to be held. Harry is an independent kid, he has lived his life with his only example of family being really shitty people. He self-efficient and this should be portrayed in this fic. He doesn't need his hand to held, he is quite capable of fending for himself for the most part. Will he need help? Yeah, because this is a whole other life now, but he's not one to be babied.

If you want to do family building then have it where Sasuke and Harry become equals, not making Harry his lesser in order to fit your narrative. I swear I thought I was reading a completely different story entirely with this.

Final verdict, yeah, like everything after the first half of chapter 2. As soon as the whole Hokage telling him to call him "Jiji" thing happened, the story just seemed to go downhill. No one besides Naruto and Konohamaru calls him Jiji, and it isn't likely that this boy he just met (no matter his prior knowledge of him as the two still haven't met in any capacity) would be given that privilege. Hell, Harry probably wouldn't even feel comfortable enough to even refer to him as such anyway.
1/10/2017 c4 7Englandrules83
I just read this story and I really like this story. Are you going to continue this one or not? Please PM me when you get this review I want talk more with you in private
11/19/2016 c4 Soccerlover17
Update please!
11/5/2016 c4 mew
Awwww, so cute but so sad! Please continue. I love adorable stories.
5/30/2016 c3 kat1316
update please come *fingers crossed*
5/4/2016 c1 Naphtalla1904
hei i found your ff and it's grate please please update.
4/19/2016 c4 FanficLover577
Please update. This was getting to a really go part. I wonder if now that Tokeo is back, if Itachi could come back with the info provided from Sasuke's letter.
3/21/2016 c4 Guest
I just discovered this amazing fic and gotta say I love it! Please update soon I'm dying to read the next part
3/18/2016 c4 kat1316
I know you said your job hours were crazy but PLEASE update!w
66 Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service