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8/19/2019 c4 Emperor Tyrannous
Gotta say this is one of the more original fanfics I've read in a while. And a prototype one to boot, which seems to be a dying breed in this day and age.
5/6/2018 c4 13Ferric
You're so good at focusing on the human aspect of the setting, that there are people living and dying in the city as all of this happens. Quite a heartbreaking chapter, but wonderful none the less. I really feel that you captured the confusion and conflicting views people have on disasters, the way people make narratives that make sense, because thinking otherwise, that sometimes things just happen and there's no explanation, is too horrific to imagine.
5/6/2018 c4 13Cakes Blargh
Man, it must suck to read shit on the internet that says your mom deserved to die and killed by a monster. This is a saltier bitter epilogue.

I'm not surprised there are sites that writes Alex as a hero, ignoring the monstrous things he did and the casualty he had caused. Heh, Jennifer situation is similar with Dana - if she learns the truth about Mercer and reads all the hate spiel she come
to bitterly realize are true in a sense.

I look forward to the next chapter, Gidora.
2/24/2018 c3 11Laluzi
Ah, this was fun.

I love the way you characterized the Hive mindset, the repeated focus on Mother as a true maternal figure; concepts of warmth and family and heh, being a 'good child.' And yet, at the same time, love isn't really involved except love of concept. It's extremely... utilitarian. Also the potential for infighting and the cracks in unity following the loss of Mother; -that- is an interesting concept. I might crib some of this later if I ever have a chance to use it, because I love it.

The Hunter's thoughts were pretty great, and they tied well into the things we saw in game; them taking leadership roles, and even the way they chomped both civilians and lesser Infected when damaged.

Little things I loved - the Hunter sniffing Heinz and then letting him go, the story of Cadey and how it was told. (Was weirdly reminded of Dishonored and the Flooded District for a second. But in a good way - mostly how the game would give you little clues as to the backstory of some of the Weepers you found.) I'd missed at first that she was the one infecting him and not the other way around - I'd thought that Heinz was a carrier and that's why you were using the parallel ending. But now I'm pretty sure I got that wrong, as cool as it would have been. Which... if you're looking for ideas, that might be an interesting subject to tackle, some of the Redlight Typhoid Maries that popped up in the military.

And speaking of, that ending. Hot damn, that was good. Some good ominous subtlety there with same terminology, 'the thing that still thought it was.' And the implication of his downfall from earlier being repeated are so cruelly, cruelly fun. (Though they could be worse, honestly, depending on how far along he is. Heh heh heh...)
2/23/2018 c3 13Ferric
Wow! Where to begin? Because this chapter was really impressive. So far everything in this collection has done an amazing job of capturing the darker, more horrific elements of the game, but this chapter does it especially well and brings in a lot of what I think some people miss about the situation after the end of the game - it's not over.

Alright, on to specific details. I loved the bits from the hunter's point of view. You managed to make it wonderfully other, putting us in a position to view its world and life without anthropomorphizing or romanticizing what it is. Too often people make animals less animal when they write them, or try to give human motives and motivations to monsters. The hunters have none of that ,they just are. It's awesome and it brings me to the next bit I loved: The thing that had been Lynn Mroz.

Monsters are scary, zombies are terrifying when you get down to it, and that's the reason why. There's nothing to them except apatite and mindless drive, no reason, no regret and no hope. They just are, like insects or machines even. Her mutations random, hindering and generally incompatible with survival really highlights how horrific the Redlight virus is. There's no grand purpose to it, it just mutates and kills.

Then the end, that last line, the thing that wasn't quite Derek Heinz. Yeah, that was perfect. Really bleak, a horrifying reminder that the outbreak is ongoing.

This pretty much captured everything I like about the setting of the game. And not featuring Alex was a really good choice, just letting things happen without him works to bring the reader back to the mundane elements of the setting, normal people going about their lives and often meeting gruesome ends. Alex makes it easy to forget all that, gives us someone to root for, but take him away and it's just the world and the people in it.

Thank you for writing this!
2/21/2018 c3 13Cakes Blargh
There are so many great chilling and favorite moments in this chapter. The interactions between Hunters. The description of Lynn crawling over her brethren and god-knows-what, as well the finishing line of that segment: They only felt hunger.

The image of someone lost their head in a bite. I also really like the segment of the Hunter versus the helicopters.

"It was wounded, the machine it was on was wounded, and they both fell.

It managed to twist and bend and land on its feet." This part made me cackle, I was amused at the sudden image of a Hunter mimicking a cat in the air. I especially love how that Hunter segment ends.

"She had managed to scale the barricade, only to entangle herself on the barbed wire and hang there."

The scene of an infected flailing about and stuck is equally macabre and amusing to me. I had to laugh at that one guy making a joke at the appalling morbid scene of this.

I really like it, and it's a great chapter. I hope you keep it up.
2/20/2018 c3 5whycantifindafriknusername
I'm so glad you updated! You're one of my favorite authors in the prototype fandom! I only got the game about a year ago, so I was like 8 years late to the party, but the fandom seems to be carrying on, slowly but surely, and it makes me so proud. The new content appearing here and there never fails to make my day. Especially THIS. I originally read this early on, when I first joined, and I've read almost every prototype fanfic that I could get my hands on since then, but I never forgot the second chapter of this fanfic. The paranoid marine, wondering if the barista in the cafe, his coworker, or even his wife, was a fake person in disguise? That shit stayed with me. My mind continued to return to it, cuz it's SUCH A GREAT CHAPTER. No one ever explores the marines or run of the mill blackwatch, and how Alex and the infection as a whole would affect them, the aftermath of wondering if any day you're going to be killed, if your best friend standing next to you is Zeus in disguise. We always see it from Alex's point of view, and laugh at how amusing it is to patsy a group of soldiers. We never think how badly those soldiers who lived are fucked up from it. You are a genius.
I would absolutely love to see you do a chapter on Cross and what he thinks of Alex The Virus, because I would like to see your take on him, and what you think he would feel about This Creature That Looked Like A Human But Was Not A Human.
10/10/2017 c2 13Cakes Blargh
Gotta applaud it to you that you manage to stick through this guy's headspace all the way through. It's hard to forget, if we didn't see through the perspective of Alex, we would probably be dealing an entirely different genre and it's kinda cool seeing it in writing form.

I could see the Lovecraft influence. I had thought it would be a tale of a man dealing with PTSD, grief, and memories of hell.

Looking forward to more.
8/10/2016 c2 11Laluzi
Damn - I've already told you most of what I think, but watching this guy's life fall apart while he's stuck in this one terrible moment is fantastic. I love the way the flashbacks move slower than his life itself, and the distance between each present segment, coupled with the deterioration in each. The beginning I found especially striking; the household is so sterile, so dead. I knew it would end in either divorce or paranoid murder, but it didn't lessen the power of the scene.

All in all, a fantastic examination of how brutally the events of Prototype would wreck the witnesses. Love your work, and can't wait to see what you'll do next here.
8/4/2016 c2 4Krazyfanfiction1
10/7/2015 c1 Draconic Kaiser
This is being added to my favourites list because you have just made my day.

The best part of this for me was the confusion and denial. The loss of hours at a time. This lady was spiralling towards a horrible end and she couldn't realise... That was delightful. And the ending scene? Beautifully done.

So thank you for posting this.
8/7/2015 c1 11Laluzi
You mentioned, when you brought up this fic to me, that you didn't think it was quite up my alley.

I'm happy to inform you that you're wrong. This is very, /very/ up my alley. Downward spirals into horrific, twisted afflictions? Please, pass the fic. I'm glad you brought this up - I haven't been checking ffn lately, and it might have been a few weeks until I'd noticed it.

I recall you posting the very end of this on VMA - when we were discussing Hunters and how they were formed on the fic inspiration thread, right? I loved it then, and I'm glad you expanded on this and turned it into an actual fic.

The spiral is great. It starts off innocuous, as it always does, and provides a nice glimpse into what life is like for the ordinary civilian as the events of Prototype begin to go down. (The lack of a name for the protagonist confused me for a bit, but the more I thought about it, the more it struck me as a fitting stylistic choice - in the end, she's no one.) You might have drawn that out a little longer, but I don't think the fic suffers for it. The confusion is excellent - always one of my favorite parts of these kinds of stories, and you evoke it and its progression brilliantly. Maddened carnivorous hunger? Guilty pleasure of mine, and it's damn effective here at building up the horror. And when you get to the end, when your protagonist is all but gone - the descriptions here are dark, thick, and visceral. Very solid imagery. And the way you ended it, with the lack of a period making it /not/ an end... perfect. Haunting, dark, and perfect.

All in all, I think this could have been longer, each part a bit more drawn out, but... that might just be my desire to read /more/ of this, and that's not really feasible in a fic that has such a clear beginning and a clear end. Excellent job, seriously. And thank you. It's been a while since I've read a good Prototype fic - longer still one that didn't star Alex. Welcome to my favorite stories list. Well... again.
8/3/2015 c1 Guest
nicely done, dj. it's good to read something from you again, and you did a phenomenal job, as always.
8/3/2015 c1 13Ferric
Awesome fic, but you already know that. I can really see where you drew inspiration from Preston's works and then worked it into your own style.
8/3/2015 c1 Guest
I still haven't stopped screaming.


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