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for What A Girl Won't Do

8/3/2015 c1 Guest
Fun story. I liked it a lot.
8/3/2015 c1 Tiger002
Too lazy to login to review...you know where to find me if you want to respond.

Anyway, I love this story. The strong narration here is evident from the first paragraph. Its like you were simultaneously writing in the distant third person perspective while also being within her mind like first person. The only other person I've seen do something like that is that Zailey author who wrote all those oneshots a few years ago. But unlike her, you were able to keep the perspective for a full story instead of just a short oneshot. You really did a great job of portraying Willa here with that. To be honest , it reads like you were Willa with her tone and stubbornness. Of course I'm sure Willa is only a fraction of how cool and smart as you are.

I also like how you portrayed Moose here. Its not entirely consistent with the show where he was a villain, but your portrayal of him seems like a reasonable extension of who he could be. I also feel there could have been more of the relationship between him and Ethan explored. But since that was Willas story, it makes sense to leave it out.

You really should write more often, this story proves how good you are at it. It makes me want to write too, though of a slightly different style of story.

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