for Rains of Jabiim9/10/2015 c4 
871-1 Marines
I would've read and reviewed earlier, but I only had a phone and a Krav Maga class was coming up at the time.
Vaabesh honestly should've ended up a Jedi cop/investigator like Tera Sinube (the only good thing about his debut episode, since Ahsoka acted in a way that would make Jar Jar and Divo cringe). He is in no way is he fit to be a military officer. Hell, in the comic his last words were, "Use it (his lightsaber) better than I did."
Griff is fitter than RVB Grif (yes, one F). You should check out the latest episode.
Kalevela being New Mandalore makes sense. Not like the Fake Mandos were honest with themselves or outsiders.
It's not like Gillmunn can have Marik (created by Patriot-112, who apparently is anti-Disney judging by his Deviantart account and a hypocrite considering he calls it "corporate Disney" but forgets Lucasfilm was already a business) court-martialed due to the fact they're in a battle and he provoked him. While calling him a buckethead was uncalled for, the Colonel is under stress and hopefully won't repeat that mistake.
Nukes? Assuming they're thermonuclear weapons, Stratus better have cleanup machines from the CIS. Assuming they're pure fusion weapons (which would not produce highly radioactive byproducts and have no fissile materials-look them up on Wikipedia), he still is definitely Che Guevara (who apparently wanted nuclear war). Thank God Anakin didn't kill him-while he does deserve death, him being alive enables him to screw things up for the Seps (similar to Tarkin interfering with Vader's response to the rebel attack on the Death Star).
Some grammar/spelling mistakes (mainly Anakin reprimanding Gillmunn, from what I can tell).
Final tip: For the last chapter, I'd change Torrent Company from 20 men (a couple of squad or a small platoon at most-Wookieepedia's Legends article on the GAR gives a decent idea of unit size) to 100 or so, or at least have it mentioned that Anakin designated them as a company for morale. Does Rex have red armor (considering Phase I suits originally were color coded for ranks) or did he just get a pauldron and Kama?
Keep up the great work!
871-1 MarinesI would've read and reviewed earlier, but I only had a phone and a Krav Maga class was coming up at the time.
Vaabesh honestly should've ended up a Jedi cop/investigator like Tera Sinube (the only good thing about his debut episode, since Ahsoka acted in a way that would make Jar Jar and Divo cringe). He is in no way is he fit to be a military officer. Hell, in the comic his last words were, "Use it (his lightsaber) better than I did."
Griff is fitter than RVB Grif (yes, one F). You should check out the latest episode.
Kalevela being New Mandalore makes sense. Not like the Fake Mandos were honest with themselves or outsiders.
It's not like Gillmunn can have Marik (created by Patriot-112, who apparently is anti-Disney judging by his Deviantart account and a hypocrite considering he calls it "corporate Disney" but forgets Lucasfilm was already a business) court-martialed due to the fact they're in a battle and he provoked him. While calling him a buckethead was uncalled for, the Colonel is under stress and hopefully won't repeat that mistake.
Nukes? Assuming they're thermonuclear weapons, Stratus better have cleanup machines from the CIS. Assuming they're pure fusion weapons (which would not produce highly radioactive byproducts and have no fissile materials-look them up on Wikipedia), he still is definitely Che Guevara (who apparently wanted nuclear war). Thank God Anakin didn't kill him-while he does deserve death, him being alive enables him to screw things up for the Seps (similar to Tarkin interfering with Vader's response to the rebel attack on the Death Star).
Some grammar/spelling mistakes (mainly Anakin reprimanding Gillmunn, from what I can tell).
Final tip: For the last chapter, I'd change Torrent Company from 20 men (a couple of squad or a small platoon at most-Wookieepedia's Legends article on the GAR gives a decent idea of unit size) to 100 or so, or at least have it mentioned that Anakin designated them as a company for morale. Does Rex have red armor (considering Phase I suits originally were color coded for ranks) or did he just get a pauldron and Kama?
Keep up the great work!
8/31/2015 c1 2supremechancellor8991
Having Palpatine involved in the meeting and promoting him towards the end seemed like what would happen if this was an episode in TCW. It automatically made me think how Anakin is just getting so much closer to the Dark Side. Nice work!
2supremechancellor8991Having Palpatine involved in the meeting and promoting him towards the end seemed like what would happen if this was an episode in TCW. It automatically made me think how Anakin is just getting so much closer to the Dark Side. Nice work!
8/24/2015 c3 871-1 Marines
Assuming Torrent Company is just those twenty clones, it doesn't even qualify as a platoon. But hey, Anakin does need to have morale up.
Dunaub should be a Lieutenant Colonel or even a Major if he's second-in-command to Gillmunn, but considering the casualties he could very well have been one of the last Militia officers left. He may have Bullied a Dragon by referring to Anakin as a "spoiled brat," but he did go down fighting.
At least Mazzi was somewhat civilized (or pragmatic), unlike his boss. Pity for him that Rex speaks with action.
Jedi in general can be quite Stupid Good. Should've been "visor," not "goggles."
Droids being stupid, nice. At least Stratus got shot for it. I'd have Kraym a bit higher ranked or just the head of Stratus' Nimbus detachment, but meh.
Don't be an idiot, Tae. Avoid charging, enemy having tanks or not.
Nice work overall.
871-1 MarinesAssuming Torrent Company is just those twenty clones, it doesn't even qualify as a platoon. But hey, Anakin does need to have morale up.
Dunaub should be a Lieutenant Colonel or even a Major if he's second-in-command to Gillmunn, but considering the casualties he could very well have been one of the last Militia officers left. He may have Bullied a Dragon by referring to Anakin as a "spoiled brat," but he did go down fighting.
At least Mazzi was somewhat civilized (or pragmatic), unlike his boss. Pity for him that Rex speaks with action.
Jedi in general can be quite Stupid Good. Should've been "visor," not "goggles."
Droids being stupid, nice. At least Stratus got shot for it. I'd have Kraym a bit higher ranked or just the head of Stratus' Nimbus detachment, but meh.
Don't be an idiot, Tae. Avoid charging, enemy having tanks or not.
Nice work overall.
8/18/2015 c2 1-1 Marines
Blaming actual officers for his own fuckups? Damn, President/Commander Stratus really IS a Che Expy.
Good to see that Gillmunn, while skeptical of Anakin's leadership capabilities, does acknowledge his prowess and offer logical reasons for his skepticism.
Considering how Ahsoka was basically Anakin's second-in-command at 14, Nolan being a Corporal at the same age isn't implausible.
Considering how Zule was in the Jabiim comic, she'd definitely be okay with Anakin being in charge.
I wonder if the Seps would use gas in light of their battle droids. Considering how Stratus effectively used his Mooks as bait (and their Kallus-like helmets would actually hinder putting on a mask even if it was like the Winter soldier mask), it's not as if he'd be above sacrificing them to strike at the Jedi.
Blaming actual officers for his own fuckups? Damn, President/Commander Stratus really IS a Che Expy.
Good to see that Gillmunn, while skeptical of Anakin's leadership capabilities, does acknowledge his prowess and offer logical reasons for his skepticism.
Considering how Ahsoka was basically Anakin's second-in-command at 14, Nolan being a Corporal at the same age isn't implausible.
Considering how Zule was in the Jabiim comic, she'd definitely be okay with Anakin being in charge.
I wonder if the Seps would use gas in light of their battle droids. Considering how Stratus effectively used his Mooks as bait (and their Kallus-like helmets would actually hinder putting on a mask even if it was like the Winter soldier mask), it's not as if he'd be above sacrificing them to strike at the Jedi.
8/10/2015 c1 1-1 Marines
Now Rex is gonna end up leading Torrent Company?
I love how Stratus talked shit but got crippled without so much as a word from Anakin. Or even inflicting anything beyond his braid being destroyed; that actually sounds like Che Guevara the Asshole.
A division/legion worth of clones split between thirty Jedi? Damn, life isn't looking good already-of course, troops are spread thin and all.
BTW, you noticed the Mooks of the Jabiimi Nationalists (the dudes who got introduced to the AT-ATs and weren't Gas Mask Mooks/Faceless Goons) wore blue uniforms? Granted, while not as bad as clone/Imperial/Peacekeeper white (or, the worst of all colors for camo, British red), you'd think they'd be equipped with gray, brown, or khaki or some other, more practical color due to visibility. Of course, the CIS does have blue for their military.
Now Rex is gonna end up leading Torrent Company?
I love how Stratus talked shit but got crippled without so much as a word from Anakin. Or even inflicting anything beyond his braid being destroyed; that actually sounds like Che Guevara the Asshole.
A division/legion worth of clones split between thirty Jedi? Damn, life isn't looking good already-of course, troops are spread thin and all.
BTW, you noticed the Mooks of the Jabiimi Nationalists (the dudes who got introduced to the AT-ATs and weren't Gas Mask Mooks/Faceless Goons) wore blue uniforms? Granted, while not as bad as clone/Imperial/Peacekeeper white (or, the worst of all colors for camo, British red), you'd think they'd be equipped with gray, brown, or khaki or some other, more practical color due to visibility. Of course, the CIS does have blue for their military.