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7/3/2018 c8 Spokavriel
How on earth is this possible? For starters without Voldemort why would anyone have been broken into Gringotts? Hagrid isn't in this story until you have him replace the decased DADA instructior. Wouldn't the school have needed to replace him? And only people who know the books knew Quirrel put trolls among the tasks for getting to the stone. You didn't even list any of the dangers just glossing it over.

So really this whole thing makes so little sense Did Harry even have an encounter with the mirror of Erised? The magic of Erised Does Not Work That Way. IT is only a reflection. Nothing REAL

HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU GET SPERM FROM AN IMAGE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS DESIRES?

The only reason the stone was able to be contained with the mirror was because of Dumbledor's secondary spell. And it was that spell that contained the actual stone until the conditions for its ending were met. Someone to come along who wished to find the stone but not make use of it.

So that is the end. Crap happens no results are shown to experience and there isn't even anything on camera to show what kind, if any, relationship Harry and Washu have with each other. Harry could be a total lab animal to her and still be in the most caring relationship he has had in memory.

This I think only counts as an incomplete list of events and not really a story yet.

Daniel Thomas Stack
AKA Spokavriel at yahoo.
7/3/2018 c7 Spokavriel
So the one to give the warning is different and there is nothing to say anything in the skipped time was the same as original at all. Did Harry even meet Granger on the train? Heck you mentioned the pod healing him but didn't even say if Harry still had a scar or not on his forehead. Without one why and how would Malfoy have even been able to ID Harry as "Potter"

The amount of things left unsaid is kinda killing the ability to see how this one is much less where it is going.
7/3/2018 c6 Spokavriel
More changes just flat out stated but not really shown in a way to be experienced. Ever see the musical Oliver? There is a whole number about how amazing the morning is titled Who will buy. It slowly builds up until it feels like half the population of London is involved in celebrating just how great a morning it is. That the experience selling it to us is still barely letting us know everything about how wonderful it is. Its like most of the experiences of this story are being left to imagination without giving enough context unless you are better acquainted with the original works than the movies depict.

Daniel Thomas Stack
Aka Spokavriel at Yahoo.
7/2/2018 c4 Spokavriel
Time freeze... That didn't exactly work anywhere in Tenchi Muyo Why would it work for a spirit here? The Temporal sciences shown don't work this way in either series.

This might work better if the smoke vanished from the physical plane just to be dispelled by Washu's sleeping and unaware ethereal form. At least then its a side effect of something shown in series.

Its not like the prophecy could see the evil being erased by a deity/scientist not of this world.

Daniel T Stack
AKA Spokavriel at yahoo.
7/2/2018 c3 Spokavriel
She weakened the Dursleys. Why? and although I know the scientific reason isn't needed but a how as in the means of inducing the change are really needed.

This change in the dynamic is correcting so much so fast you need more in the chapters to actually depict the changes and let the altered world show on camera. Without that showing it leaves you with notes and no real setting for the story to take place.

Daniel Thomas Stack
AKA Spokavriel at yahoo.
5/19/2017 c8 James Birdsong
Fantastic chapter
3/10/2017 c8 ramunes
please more chapters
1/20/2017 c8 4Twilight-Lloyd
... Wut?

The wizarding world has just been turned on its head hasn't it?
12/10/2016 c8 60Perseus12
Good chapter and I like it! Please continue update new chapter, 'cause my mind and my blood thrilled in excitement!
4/4/2016 c1 god of all
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
2/25/2016 c8 7moon so bright
Funny way of reproducing.
2/25/2016 c7 moon so bright
I like Ryo-ohki. She is adorable.
2/25/2016 c6 moon so bright
Go Washu!
2/25/2016 c5 moon so bright
"Return to Sender." Lol.
2/25/2016 c4 moon so bright
Interesting. Be careful what you wish for, Tommy boy.
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