for Chances epilogue9/30/2015 c1 Arialoid
Hey there! I really love, love, love your story so much.
Your writing is vivid, fluid, and overall stunning. I could picture everything with ease, and I especially loved Fai's ridiculous teasing and nicknames he gives Kuro.
I love how the story mixes in different aspects and moods to give it an overall 10/10 atmosphere. There's a bit of comedy to ease the awkwardness between the two, a lot of fluff, and perfect smut.
Towards the end of the smut, the quality somewhat died down? Whenever you want, try elaborating near the end of the smut scene, maybe try making that specific part a little more detailed? And of course, if it gets a bit too corny, substitute the words for... 'cum' with 'release', and vise versa. But I dunno, I still found everything superb.
Smut reviews aren't necessarily my forte LOL, but I just loved this story so much, I had to leave a little comment. Keep writing! 3 you have talent.
Hey there! I really love, love, love your story so much.
Your writing is vivid, fluid, and overall stunning. I could picture everything with ease, and I especially loved Fai's ridiculous teasing and nicknames he gives Kuro.
I love how the story mixes in different aspects and moods to give it an overall 10/10 atmosphere. There's a bit of comedy to ease the awkwardness between the two, a lot of fluff, and perfect smut.
Towards the end of the smut, the quality somewhat died down? Whenever you want, try elaborating near the end of the smut scene, maybe try making that specific part a little more detailed? And of course, if it gets a bit too corny, substitute the words for... 'cum' with 'release', and vise versa. But I dunno, I still found everything superb.
Smut reviews aren't necessarily my forte LOL, but I just loved this story so much, I had to leave a little comment. Keep writing! 3 you have talent.
9/6/2015 c1 
62mamika
I don't like changes either. but this one will probably be for the better for Fai. To get to live with the ninja. that must do him good. especially since the ninja doesn't shield him too much, won't lie to him and will let him be what he is. and if someone is going to complain Kuro-wan will make them regret it.
aww, yhey are cuddling while they are sharing their thoughts. and nicely realistic that they are not sleeping whilst spooning. that is actually really hard way to sleep. and they probably haven't really had chances of getting used to it since they have been with the kids up until now.
heh, Fai's thinking is mindfucking...funny XD Kuro-pin is such a potty mouth. and he goes and kiss Fai before theblond has a chance to comment. clever.
knew that! no real chances to develope their relationship. and now the ninja is clearly taking the time back ;) kissing, nibling and touching
five years? few, surprised that Kuro-run has had the patience. but that just goes to show that Fai really means a lot to him.
aww, kuromantic won't even change Fai's "bad" parts. how truly wonderful conviction. and Fai clearly feels the same way about the ninja, and don't want to hurt or disappoint him. and the fear of that makes him all edgy and worried, which hurts the ninja and even though realizing it Fai can't really stop because that's how he is.
they have rather complicated relationship. good thing that the ninja is so loyal and fierce. he can make it work and won't give up.
yes silly Fai, at first. so, get it over with, and then it will only get better. and since it's Kuro-pun we are talking about he will make sure you won't feel bad. if only Fai could shut his brains for a while and go with it. then he would see that it's not so dangerous or treathening.
*laugh* Kuro-fun is such a mean teaser! he has learned a lot of bad habits from Fai. how nice :D
they really are playing! Kuro-mean is acting like he would not know what FAi wants. and yet he knows. but I do understand why he wants Fai to really say it. it makes it more okay to Fai to see that what he askes doesn't make the ninja uncomfortable so he doesn't need to either.
sad that the hand bothers him. not much though but still. he misses having two hands. natural of course.
heh, Kurogane couldn't drag it out longer. because he is eager to see and feel more of Fai. it's so sweet that he is so patient and considerate with Fai.
yeah, Fai not joking is Fai in trouble.
So. their first time. all in all I think it was good and realistic description of how things go. not going to go for more details about it.
Fai whining playfully afterwards is so much him that I smiled. and Kuro dealing it with ease was very nice :D
I'd say very nice chapter, and I think you did great job :D
and it seems I got the honor of being first t review! sorry it took so long, I had no idea you had written something. thank you once more for telling me, I had great times reading ;D
good start, good story and you are awesome
62mamikaI don't like changes either. but this one will probably be for the better for Fai. To get to live with the ninja. that must do him good. especially since the ninja doesn't shield him too much, won't lie to him and will let him be what he is. and if someone is going to complain Kuro-wan will make them regret it.
aww, yhey are cuddling while they are sharing their thoughts. and nicely realistic that they are not sleeping whilst spooning. that is actually really hard way to sleep. and they probably haven't really had chances of getting used to it since they have been with the kids up until now.
heh, Fai's thinking is mindfucking...funny XD Kuro-pin is such a potty mouth. and he goes and kiss Fai before theblond has a chance to comment. clever.
knew that! no real chances to develope their relationship. and now the ninja is clearly taking the time back ;) kissing, nibling and touching
five years? few, surprised that Kuro-run has had the patience. but that just goes to show that Fai really means a lot to him.
aww, kuromantic won't even change Fai's "bad" parts. how truly wonderful conviction. and Fai clearly feels the same way about the ninja, and don't want to hurt or disappoint him. and the fear of that makes him all edgy and worried, which hurts the ninja and even though realizing it Fai can't really stop because that's how he is.
they have rather complicated relationship. good thing that the ninja is so loyal and fierce. he can make it work and won't give up.
yes silly Fai, at first. so, get it over with, and then it will only get better. and since it's Kuro-pun we are talking about he will make sure you won't feel bad. if only Fai could shut his brains for a while and go with it. then he would see that it's not so dangerous or treathening.
*laugh* Kuro-fun is such a mean teaser! he has learned a lot of bad habits from Fai. how nice :D
they really are playing! Kuro-mean is acting like he would not know what FAi wants. and yet he knows. but I do understand why he wants Fai to really say it. it makes it more okay to Fai to see that what he askes doesn't make the ninja uncomfortable so he doesn't need to either.
sad that the hand bothers him. not much though but still. he misses having two hands. natural of course.
heh, Kurogane couldn't drag it out longer. because he is eager to see and feel more of Fai. it's so sweet that he is so patient and considerate with Fai.
yeah, Fai not joking is Fai in trouble.
So. their first time. all in all I think it was good and realistic description of how things go. not going to go for more details about it.
Fai whining playfully afterwards is so much him that I smiled. and Kuro dealing it with ease was very nice :D
I'd say very nice chapter, and I think you did great job :D
and it seems I got the honor of being first t review! sorry it took so long, I had no idea you had written something. thank you once more for telling me, I had great times reading ;D
good start, good story and you are awesome