Just In

5/20/2020 c16 JustMePMM
I really love the idea and concepts of this story, the random statement style of writing is a challenge to ready but worth the effort.
I'm guessing your using a translation from another language which would explain this. But over all I'm enjoying you story, nice to read something different.
9/5/2018 c1 Guest
I'm not going to adress your writing style, since I got an impression (forgive me if I'm wrong) that English is not your first language. I suggest you to find beta and spell check and grammar check are there for you, use them. There are MANY websites and books that can show you how to improve your writing. Also your characterizations are little lacking and your plot is rather confusing since you dont explain things enough. It's not bad but it needs some work.
3/26/2018 c5 Nehnah
You story premise is good but you lack delivery of it. The style of writing is immature slightly and definitely needs a good Grammar check. Your placement of certain words, question marks, commas and full stops are vastly incorrect. I would suggest you take the story down, find a good Beta and rework it before reposting. I would be interested in reading it once corrected but for now I will have to walk away. Sorry.
10/5/2017 c7 Valya 001
This chapter was damn boring. I gave up trying to read it halfway. Sorry but I think I have lost my interest in this story. Where the plot and story line is really good, your way of writing shadows everything else. It is quite boring and unappealing.
Please continue to write and improve your work.
10/4/2017 c6 Valya 001
Plot is great...but your writing style is really eccentric.
For once you must get it edited...the conversations are not properly marked and it is making it difficult to understand
10/4/2017 c1 Valya 001
Interesting so far...I hope it remains that way
10/1/2017 c16 jay7795
Wtf just happened? Jacob has lost his marbles. I cant believe that just happened. Jacob is stupid if he thinks his plan will work. He just messed up
This one had me in tears.
10/1/2017 c15 jay7795
Some action in the chappy. Philip got his and Renee is safe. I can't believe that the gang agreed to keep Charlie in the girl's lives but no their mom. Wow! How can Charlie agree to that plan? Not sure how i feel about that.
Some grammer errors but nothinh that will stop me from reading this completely.
10/1/2017 c14 jay7795
Really enjoyed Charlie's POV. He step up and defended Bella and that was awesome! Go Charlie! Seems he put the piece together and learned the truth. Have to say he's my favorite character in this chapter
No one ever gives him enough credit
10/1/2017 c13 jay7795
My phone cut some of my previous review.

I meant to say I'm glad Mike and Taylor got hooked up with some girls and not killed by the boys.

We get allot of info about the bond but on a more personal level. Things got hot in this chapter but dangerous as well. Wonder why Charlie is coming to see the boys.
Awesome chapter!
10/1/2017 c12 jay7795
Ah crap Jake has become a lose cannon. We havent seen the last of him. Happy the Charlie and Renee saw the error of their ways before it was too late and they lost their daughters for good.
Also glad Mjke and
10/1/2017 c11 jay7795
Thank you for the shout out!
The boys are very understanding when it comes to their girls. This chapter had just the right amount of humor and seriousness. Gotta love Alice foresight. She has stopped a few human murders so far..
And so they are married... woohoo! Thank you for not draging out the wedding.
Great chapter!
10/1/2017 c10 jay7795
*peeks from behind the couch*
I know. I know...
Poor couples to have felt so much pain those few hours. Seems their bond is allot stronger then they thought.
Again love their communication
Thanks :)
5/4/2017 c7 LoveCake
I love your plot & the development of your characters... but it is hard to read. The punctuation really needs work. I can't tell a character's thoughts apart from their conversations with each other.

Again, I LOVE your story concept, it is just really hard to keep up with.
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