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10/7/2015 c1 2Embertine
This was pretty good. Though it gets confusing and may lead a lot of readers to simply right it off as another fanfic. I suggest working on the delivery a little bit more and simplifying it a bit. You go back and forth with the comparisons so much you lose track of the moment.
9/20/2015 c1 Tatopatato
And here i thought A

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