
4/5/2017 c41 Duncan
What about the philosopher's stone.
What about the philosopher's stone.
4/4/2017 c33 Lord Orion Redwood
Hello again,
Another issue with your logic. You had Arthur and Molly swear if vow preventing them from talking to anyone without the moms premission. They ~22 paragraphs later you had them ask them not to share it with anyone like the vow doesn't even matter.
LOR
Hello again,
Another issue with your logic. You had Arthur and Molly swear if vow preventing them from talking to anyone without the moms premission. They ~22 paragraphs later you had them ask them not to share it with anyone like the vow doesn't even matter.
LOR
3/30/2017 c12 Cosrad
The story so far is quite over the top, but still not bad, while a couple parts are too long and tedious to read through that could be cut out to make it flow better. It is definitely in need of a Beta to edit the many grammatical and spelling errors as every time I come across one pulls me out of this world you've created. It's an interesting read and I love stories where Harry grows up being raised by a non-Dursley family so I will power through and read the rest!
TLDR: Keep writing and continue to improve in making your stories concise, grammatically correct and spelling correction (suggest getting a Beta).
The story so far is quite over the top, but still not bad, while a couple parts are too long and tedious to read through that could be cut out to make it flow better. It is definitely in need of a Beta to edit the many grammatical and spelling errors as every time I come across one pulls me out of this world you've created. It's an interesting read and I love stories where Harry grows up being raised by a non-Dursley family so I will power through and read the rest!
TLDR: Keep writing and continue to improve in making your stories concise, grammatically correct and spelling correction (suggest getting a Beta).
3/29/2017 c10 Lord Orion Redwood
Hello, I'm really liking the story so far. However, how was Dan able to get to Potter manor with the modified fidealus charm? You never had both Women tell him the secrect. Same with Emma and Hermione but that's more reasonable since they were with the keepers of the secret.
Hello, I'm really liking the story so far. However, how was Dan able to get to Potter manor with the modified fidealus charm? You never had both Women tell him the secrect. Same with Emma and Hermione but that's more reasonable since they were with the keepers of the secret.
3/26/2017 c4 TheKuroKitsune
Did you make the dragon forms red eyes black dragon an blue eyes whit dragon?
Did you make the dragon forms red eyes black dragon an blue eyes whit dragon?
3/17/2017 c4 Guest
Trying to really like this story, but you have the 1981 British Army using modern weapons. Example the Apache helicopter was invented in 75 but wasn't put into production until 84 and deployed to the us army in 86. The AgustaWestland Apatche (UK's) was deployed in 04 I believe. I think the UK's Lynx helicopter went into service late 70's might have been a better pick. Every time I hit one of these small things it breaks my suspension of disbelief. I'll keep reading but getting a headache.
Trying to really like this story, but you have the 1981 British Army using modern weapons. Example the Apache helicopter was invented in 75 but wasn't put into production until 84 and deployed to the us army in 86. The AgustaWestland Apatche (UK's) was deployed in 04 I believe. I think the UK's Lynx helicopter went into service late 70's might have been a better pick. Every time I hit one of these small things it breaks my suspension of disbelief. I'll keep reading but getting a headache.
2/23/2017 c3
1Gallifrey denizen
peter Pettigrew got the drop on mad eye moody? I'm really trying hard to believe this but I really can't

peter Pettigrew got the drop on mad eye moody? I'm really trying hard to believe this but I really can't
2/22/2017 c1 Gallifrey denizen
not be a dick but after all that hype about them being unstoppable assassin's they can't notice an old woman watching them?
not be a dick but after all that hype about them being unstoppable assassin's they can't notice an old woman watching them?
2/11/2017 c23
4BROMBROS
I wonder why Harry didn't remember about the floo connection in his trunk, then I thought about it and remember that the Professors floo would be closer to the hospital wing then the dorm.

I wonder why Harry didn't remember about the floo connection in his trunk, then I thought about it and remember that the Professors floo would be closer to the hospital wing then the dorm.
1/20/2017 c16 Pyro995
Is this story supposed to be from Harry's point of view?
Is this story supposed to be from Harry's point of view?
1/15/2017 c4
2Deathcrow
This chapter was so incredibly over the top that I immediately lost all interest in your story. How did it even come to the reign of Voldemort if they can just casually murder an army like that? You can't have a magical society in terror from a Dark Lord while simultaneously a super-duper secret army with Dragons and whatnot without giving some kind of explanation why now suddenly they decide go all out.
This all seems poorly thought out.

This chapter was so incredibly over the top that I immediately lost all interest in your story. How did it even come to the reign of Voldemort if they can just casually murder an army like that? You can't have a magical society in terror from a Dark Lord while simultaneously a super-duper secret army with Dragons and whatnot without giving some kind of explanation why now suddenly they decide go all out.
This all seems poorly thought out.