for Harry Potter and the Shadow Legion3/16/2016 c16 Guest
Hey maybe I missed something but where is Ron? Love your story though.
Hey maybe I missed something but where is Ron? Love your story though.
3/11/2016 c9 mark.press.9
hi and thanx for sharing you imagination with us readers, excellent story so far and im looking forword to reading more and to thank you again ive noticed writing fan fiction of harry potter is slowing down so its realy great to read something new and as detailed as this story seems to be, please keep up with writing as it seems your very good at it thanx
hi and thanx for sharing you imagination with us readers, excellent story so far and im looking forword to reading more and to thank you again ive noticed writing fan fiction of harry potter is slowing down so its realy great to read something new and as detailed as this story seems to be, please keep up with writing as it seems your very good at it thanx
1/28/2016 c1 
1darksidhe42
Not bad. I do have one question and one complaint. First, why would an ancient order of protectors from the time of Merlin use weapons from the far east? The western world which JKR bases her story on has a very rich history that could provide anything you need, so it seems odd that the long-time protectors of the Royal Family would use something so exotic.
The second issue I have is with your grammar. There are several mistakes in punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph structure that really should be corrected before this is published as ready to read. You should probably find a style manual, or at the very least, a writing textbook - or find a very skilled beta to help you.
It's a shame, because this story seems like it's going to be good. I will keep reading in hopes of improvement.
1darksidhe42Not bad. I do have one question and one complaint. First, why would an ancient order of protectors from the time of Merlin use weapons from the far east? The western world which JKR bases her story on has a very rich history that could provide anything you need, so it seems odd that the long-time protectors of the Royal Family would use something so exotic.
The second issue I have is with your grammar. There are several mistakes in punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph structure that really should be corrected before this is published as ready to read. You should probably find a style manual, or at the very least, a writing textbook - or find a very skilled beta to help you.
It's a shame, because this story seems like it's going to be good. I will keep reading in hopes of improvement.
1/23/2016 c16 Kitten Arina
I'm not sure what to say or think at the moment. For the most part you are original but then you steal certain things that so many already know cause of the book or the movies. Also I am not a fan of you making Fluer the same age as Mione. Nor am a fan of Ginny and Ron switching places. Also both Ron and Ginny were the least favorites of the Weaselys.
I'm not sure what to say or think at the moment. For the most part you are original but then you steal certain things that so many already know cause of the book or the movies. Also I am not a fan of you making Fluer the same age as Mione. Nor am a fan of Ginny and Ron switching places. Also both Ron and Ginny were the least favorites of the Weaselys.
1/23/2016 c2 Kitten Arina
You have peaked my interest in this story. You are also correct that some of this has been done before in so many different ways but so far you are still being very original with the way that your going about it with this story.
You have peaked my interest in this story. You are also correct that some of this has been done before in so many different ways but so far you are still being very original with the way that your going about it with this story.
1/23/2016 c1 Kitten Arina
I came because your second story interested me and I like to start at the beginning. It would help if you learnt to spell the numbers that you used instead of constantly using the number for the word. For example the number 2 is spelled two.
I came because your second story interested me and I like to start at the beginning. It would help if you learnt to spell the numbers that you used instead of constantly using the number for the word. For example the number 2 is spelled two.
1/22/2016 c41 Mikey1805
Brilliant fic, read it during my time off work and it was amazing, can't wait for part two to be complete!
Brilliant fic, read it during my time off work and it was amazing, can't wait for part two to be complete!
1/21/2016 c3 Kane Richards
The tech you're mentioning wouldnt have been invented in 1981. I get that youre probably very eager to get the Grangers in to your story as soon as possible but your man wouldn't be rocking a penis extension weapon like a desert eagle. A Browning maybe but I don't think the British have ever used it and it's certainly not something he'd own personally.
The tech you're mentioning wouldnt have been invented in 1981. I get that youre probably very eager to get the Grangers in to your story as soon as possible but your man wouldn't be rocking a penis extension weapon like a desert eagle. A Browning maybe but I don't think the British have ever used it and it's certainly not something he'd own personally.
1/16/2016 c17 Mr. A N onymous
This is one of if not the best fanfiction I have ever read it is very well thought out and has some of the best ideas I've seen good work and keep it up
This is one of if not the best fanfiction I have ever read it is very well thought out and has some of the best ideas I've seen good work and keep it up
1/16/2016 c32 Kai
Scrooge McElf? *lol*
Scrooge McElf? *lol*
1/16/2016 c28 Kai
Well, quite gory, but entirely deserved. There is no torture cruel enough in the world to punish a rapist, imho. And torturing and murdering people out of greed for money deserves a most painful and drawn out execution as well.
Well, quite gory, but entirely deserved. There is no torture cruel enough in the world to punish a rapist, imho. And torturing and murdering people out of greed for money deserves a most painful and drawn out execution as well.
1/15/2016 c17 Kai
That thing with the common rooms is actually a clever idea.
We're talking about a medieval tower of a medieval castle. And in canon about 250 students need space to write their homework simultaneously. Okay, a few slackers like Weasley only play around, but that too needs space, space apart from those who want to do their work and don't want to be disturbed. That common room must be huge, and definitely won't fit in a medieval tower of a medieval castle.
There are space expansion charms, but Rowling never wrote/talked about those. So spreading the students over several floors greatly eases the space requirements.
That thing with the common rooms is actually a clever idea.
We're talking about a medieval tower of a medieval castle. And in canon about 250 students need space to write their homework simultaneously. Okay, a few slackers like Weasley only play around, but that too needs space, space apart from those who want to do their work and don't want to be disturbed. That common room must be huge, and definitely won't fit in a medieval tower of a medieval castle.
There are space expansion charms, but Rowling never wrote/talked about those. So spreading the students over several floors greatly eases the space requirements.