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11/3/2019 c21 1Alley2
Really great story telling. Thank you.
3/9/2018 c21 Guest
You could try using grammarly free, it will catch some of the errors.

I'm not much of a tv or movie watcher but recently I thought I'd find a show. Chill for a couple hours. I watched the first four seasons of this one. Loved the story arc, the ending was satisfying.

Then I watched season 5 and was frustrated. It was like reading a good book then having a sequel come out and ruin the first book.

Annie falling off radar to get her head on straight. That worked, the heart condition and going to Eyal didn't work for me especially Annie having a tantrum about it towards Joan and Calder. Eyal back with his wife worked. The lack of mentioning of what Annie did for Eyal on their keeping count of who bailed who out didn't. That her bailing Eyal out did not enfold the cast we the advance knows and there for happened off screen is a given. But it needed a mention. That belonged in the interactions between Auggie and Annie.
"Where where you?"
"Helping Eyal he got in a bind on a mission."

That's all that was needed.

There were many things a 5th season could have capitalized on. Dealing with Auggie and Annie matchuring into a solid couple was the expected direction. They had a lot to work through!
Auggie being a mess from having: Natasha back in his life, Hayley's rejection him, Helen's reappearance. Auggie's slutting around with quality women after Helen's real death. Auggie's issues around Annie's taking his love for her as a given.
Annie getting so cold and distant: Dealing with having killed many people including Henry Wilcox in cold blood after preventing Teo from doing the same thing. A solid choice with disastrous consequences. Jai should not be forgotten. A sentence or two in a season is all that is needed.

Annie is not capable of loving as deeply as Auggie is, Auggie's concerns over Annie's easy way of bedding men, falling for them but not falling too hard. Ben is still out there forgotten, Simon's death does not haught her as Helen's death haughts Auggie.

Instead of dealing with these issues they went there separate ways. A disappointing season 5 plot twist. And way too many red shirts during season 5. OK moving on- Colton's thing with the hooker worked incredibly well from why he was fool enough to go into the coat closet to how her death aged him. The senate seat, Joan's promotion, Eric needs to have a bit of life outside of work. Annie finding a good match in Ryan works.

But the ending-

Auggie and Natasha off writing code for a living in some US city. NY for banks or in CA for Apple. WA for MS or google? Going legit and settled down? I cannot see it. Natasha was writing code for someone to earn a living while she was on the run. Continuing that while Auggie does what and lives where?

And Annie married? No way. She would not marry for love or money. Shacked up with Ryan, working for him sure I'd believe that since Auggie is trying the settled life with Natasha. But Auggie has Helen, Hayley and Annie as girlfriends and even though they all hurt him, rejected him, he will remember what it was like to have loved them and will grown tired of someone as bratty as Natasha.

So I came to fan fiction and found your story.

I like how you addressed the issues with Natasha, how you show her being selffish to boardering on abusive of a blind person. How you have Auggie increasingly discontent but sucking it up because he is a tough guy.

I like the way you have slowing seeding light on Annie and Ryan's activities. That she chose to work for him after going back to the CIA works.

I hope you finish writing this story. I see that it has been a year.

I'm happy to proof read it for you if you are going to finish.
3/20/2017 c21 67squeakyfingers
Just found this story and I really enjoyed getting caught up with it. I think you're doing quite well for English not being your native language. A few hiccups here and there, but nothing too noticeable. I think the most important thing is that you have a very intriguing story. I look forward to reading more of it in the future.

I'm holding out hope for a little annie/joan (or auggie/joan) friendship somewhere in there, but I will take what I can get! :D
2/8/2017 c20 Cheryl
Yay! Annie is starting to remember more and more of herself and Auggie.
I was so happy to read that she had help before she was brutally violated.
Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Come back soon. Hopefully it won't be much longer before she is rescued.
Oh, and I understand what you are conveying just fine! So please don't worry about your English : ).
2/8/2017 c20 Orpheuscrew
Hi I just wanted to thank you for this story. Auggie and Annie are one of my all time favorite couples and reading this has been a delight. Every time you publish a new chapter and I get notification it makes my day. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Keep up the great work and thanks again.
2/8/2017 c20 4mfaerie32
There are a few sentences that were worded improperly, but I understood what you meant. You could consider a beta that would read over your chapter & correct the language issues & send them back to you so you could see what was worded a bit confusingly. )

I hope she gets reunited with Auggie soon.
5/17/2016 c15 NoCaffein
Very good story. I am loving it more and more as you continue. I am happy that someone from the States has made contact with Annie because she really needs answers.
Mingus will be thrilled to know that Calder actually has eyes on her.
You are doing very well with your English! The only critique I have for you is the passage that starts,
Calder's mind now began to loosen the tension...
You posted it two times.
Otherwise, great update.
Come back soon. I am very anxious for them to get out of there so they are safe.
5/13/2016 c14 6Tempe4Booth
please update again
4/30/2016 c14 Elaine R
Excellent story, please continue! You are a great writer!
4/28/2016 c14 Guest
Very nice update. You are doing remarkably well translating in your own. I am happy to read that Calder has made contact. Maybe when they get Annie back to the US and she sees familiar people (Auggie) and places, she will start to regain some memories.
Good job!
Come back soon.

4/16/2016 c13 Rushroom
Hope you update soon... Thx
9/22/2015 c4 10meburleson
I knew Auggie and Tesh could not last forever. They want different things and she is not willing to accommodate for Auggie's blindness...well, at all. Of course his heart lies with Annie. It always has and always will. This was going to happen sooner or later. I knew either she would leave or he would leave. It is better that it happened two years into their adventure rather than ten years in.

I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!
9/22/2015 c3 meburleson
I love the sound of rain and know Auggie enjoys the sound too. Although, it might make travel more difficult for him since it would dull sounds and smells, as well as make sidewalks slippery.

I can see why he would get bored as they are travelling. Tash doesn’t seem inclined to try to make it exciting for him. She doesn’t seem to want to include him at all. I knew it wouldn't take Auggie long to start thinking about Annie. But now Annie is in trouble. I hope he can help find her.

keep up the great work! I can't wait to keep reading.
9/2/2015 c3 Candlelight
Enjoyed this read thiroughly. Intrigued on what comes next. Am I bad in thinking that Tash is a lil bit of a bitch in this . Not appreciating her life with Auggie. Well done
9/3/2015 c3 sandysea17
Nice chapter and I like the cliffhanger ending. ;)
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