for Fate Magnus Bellum9/18/2015 c3 
10X the Reaper
I must admit, I'm intrigued. Originally I started reading this because you mentioned AvengerEmiya and King of Beasts, two authors whose work I've followed with interest, as inspiration. Now, I'm quite eager to see what you can bring to the table with this altered Fate Apocrypha timeline. I've even begun to find inspiration for yet another of my FSN fics thanks to you...
Anyways, love your Servant choices and I can't wait for the inevitable confrontation between Arthur, Lancelot, and Mordred. And why do I have the strangest feeling Mordred is going to intentionally make a beeline for Ruler, just for the opportunity to clash blades with her father once again? After all, her wish seems to be at least partially motivated out of a desire to have him acknowledge her. Should be interesting to see the hell that comes the next chapter.
10X the ReaperI must admit, I'm intrigued. Originally I started reading this because you mentioned AvengerEmiya and King of Beasts, two authors whose work I've followed with interest, as inspiration. Now, I'm quite eager to see what you can bring to the table with this altered Fate Apocrypha timeline. I've even begun to find inspiration for yet another of my FSN fics thanks to you...
Anyways, love your Servant choices and I can't wait for the inevitable confrontation between Arthur, Lancelot, and Mordred. And why do I have the strangest feeling Mordred is going to intentionally make a beeline for Ruler, just for the opportunity to clash blades with her father once again? After all, her wish seems to be at least partially motivated out of a desire to have him acknowledge her. Should be interesting to see the hell that comes the next chapter.
9/17/2015 c3 1palad1n
This story needs more love. Sure it's quite rough in the fight scenes, but the premise is very interesting. Y'know, because more apocrypha is always good, and more masters for the red faction is also good. Oh, and I dig this Jeanne-Proto!Saber relationship.
The chapter itself is okay, and I'm glad to see that you recognized Karna's OP-ness. The war has started quite chaotic, only to abruptly end with a cease-fire, so I'm interested what the next chapter will be about. Caster of Black is Medea, and Assassin of Black is hundred-face Hassan? A good choice, although I prefer Hassan of the Cursed Arm than hundred-face, but well, it's your story.
Will be waiting for the next chapter.
1palad1nThis story needs more love. Sure it's quite rough in the fight scenes, but the premise is very interesting. Y'know, because more apocrypha is always good, and more masters for the red faction is also good. Oh, and I dig this Jeanne-Proto!Saber relationship.
The chapter itself is okay, and I'm glad to see that you recognized Karna's OP-ness. The war has started quite chaotic, only to abruptly end with a cease-fire, so I'm interested what the next chapter will be about. Caster of Black is Medea, and Assassin of Black is hundred-face Hassan? A good choice, although I prefer Hassan of the Cursed Arm than hundred-face, but well, it's your story.
Will be waiting for the next chapter.
9/17/2015 c3 Hell Knight
Lord Altair, this chapter it was fantastic!, i never saw a fight so good like this since i read Fate black reflection and the crossover of F/SN and KRAgito.
I already can imagine what happens, Mo-san will rush to meet her father and chaos will ensure.
Or when the red faction will meets Ruler, Mo-san and Lord Arthur will cross blades.
I bet that she'll have a surprise, seeing like proto-saber showing his true personality, that he couldn't show in life thanks his duty as king.
Lord Altair , besides tht, i read your answer to code zero, so i must request, do you have more berserk button that should i aware?( sorry by the use of trope codifier words).
I also found very good the references to Kiritsugu.
Lord Altair, this chapter it was fantastic!, i never saw a fight so good like this since i read Fate black reflection and the crossover of F/SN and KRAgito.
I already can imagine what happens, Mo-san will rush to meet her father and chaos will ensure.
Or when the red faction will meets Ruler, Mo-san and Lord Arthur will cross blades.
I bet that she'll have a surprise, seeing like proto-saber showing his true personality, that he couldn't show in life thanks his duty as king.
Lord Altair , besides tht, i read your answer to code zero, so i must request, do you have more berserk button that should i aware?( sorry by the use of trope codifier words).
I also found very good the references to Kiritsugu.
9/17/2015 c3 2Hercules8
Very nice!
I can't wait to see what happens next. Also I can't wait to see who the Berserker of the Red is? Is it still going to be Spartacus or are you going to change it to Heracles?
Either way, the story is still awesome and amazing. Keep up the good work! :D
2Hercules8Very nice!
I can't wait to see what happens next. Also I can't wait to see who the Berserker of the Red is? Is it still going to be Spartacus or are you going to change it to Heracles?
Either way, the story is still awesome and amazing. Keep up the good work! :D
9/17/2015 c3 kboomerjr
As always your doing a fine job on this so keep it up. And for the first meeting between servants this chapter describes I give it a thumbs up. And now that Mordred know that her father is back things can only get better (and I can see her drag her master all over the city looking him ether to (a kill him...again. (b or if ruler has it her way force them to sit and talk it out and not letting them move till they get things sorted out.) And its good to see the red team not under full control of Shiro. Well that's all I have to say for now looking forward to the next part and see you next time on this grand adventure.
As always your doing a fine job on this so keep it up. And for the first meeting between servants this chapter describes I give it a thumbs up. And now that Mordred know that her father is back things can only get better (and I can see her drag her master all over the city looking him ether to (a kill him...again. (b or if ruler has it her way force them to sit and talk it out and not letting them move till they get things sorted out.) And its good to see the red team not under full control of Shiro. Well that's all I have to say for now looking forward to the next part and see you next time on this grand adventure.
9/11/2015 c2 9Idyllicdream
This story looks so promising! I’m in love with it only two chapters in. Your writing style is very engaging. I especially love your Saber. You have my utter support :)
9IdyllicdreamThis story looks so promising! I’m in love with it only two chapters in. Your writing style is very engaging. I especially love your Saber. You have my utter support :)
9/10/2015 c2 Neighbor
I'm truly fortunate to have stumbled across your work. Reading into the opening lines of the first chapter and I found myself already hooked. Poor little Manaka, all she wanted was her knight in shining armor, but, well, maybe then she shouldn't have gone full psycho. The entire premise of your story is quite intriguing, taking elements from Prototype Fragments and adding them in the setting of Apocrypha. A good move, after all, what better way to incorporate dozens of servants then the team vs team structure F/A provides. Great job with the pacing and expositions. The plot is always moving forward, whether it be by fight or dialogue. And you switch POV often to give the reader introspect on the motivations and personalities of the many characters.
Man I swear, this fanfic has everything I have ever wanted out of the Fate series. Fate Apocrypha is my favorite out of the series, followed by Prototype, so already I’m hyped. I love how you decided to use Arthur over Arturia. I’m sure it will make the interactions between him and his daughter Mordred much more logical and profound. And pairing him up with Jeanne too, they make a splendid duo. Awesome idea having her summon him, it makes sense, as Jeanne does have command spells, and Arthur has no wish for the grail after what he witnessed in Fragments.
I was really caught off guard by the the surprise visit from Robin Hood and Lancelot, made for a great fight, although I do wonder what their agenda is. Also the mental image of their sexy yet hilarious getaway in a fighter jet will always be ingrained in my mind. Good to know Lancelot still remembers his flying days in Zero.
You nailed it with Mordred and Shisgou’s interactions. It feels just like it was in F/A. And now she can actually meet her father again!
Interesting to see how you changed up the teams servant and master wise. Now Shirou doesn't full reign of the Red team. Always good to see Waver and Iskander. I was worried his appearance would count the original Rider of Red out, but it's a joy to see the same servants, just under different classes. Achilles as a Lancer? Damn he’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with. Of course Proto Gil will be great to see in action.
Elizabeth seems like a perfect fit for the Black team, she complements Astolfo well. But with all these Servant changes I was a bit worried my favorite, Siegfried, wouldn’t make an appearance. I audibly cheered when he debuted alongside Gordes. Can't wait to see more of him, and hopefully he gets a much happier ending than he got in F/A.
Eager to read the next installment, where will will witness the first epic battle of the Holy Grail War: Elizabeth and Astolfo’s singing contest. Oh, and Arthur/Jeanne vs Karna/Atlanta. Although if things progress similar to Apocrypha, I predict Gordes and Siegfried will enter the fray as well.
Great job with these first few chapters, keep it up.
I'm truly fortunate to have stumbled across your work. Reading into the opening lines of the first chapter and I found myself already hooked. Poor little Manaka, all she wanted was her knight in shining armor, but, well, maybe then she shouldn't have gone full psycho. The entire premise of your story is quite intriguing, taking elements from Prototype Fragments and adding them in the setting of Apocrypha. A good move, after all, what better way to incorporate dozens of servants then the team vs team structure F/A provides. Great job with the pacing and expositions. The plot is always moving forward, whether it be by fight or dialogue. And you switch POV often to give the reader introspect on the motivations and personalities of the many characters.
Man I swear, this fanfic has everything I have ever wanted out of the Fate series. Fate Apocrypha is my favorite out of the series, followed by Prototype, so already I’m hyped. I love how you decided to use Arthur over Arturia. I’m sure it will make the interactions between him and his daughter Mordred much more logical and profound. And pairing him up with Jeanne too, they make a splendid duo. Awesome idea having her summon him, it makes sense, as Jeanne does have command spells, and Arthur has no wish for the grail after what he witnessed in Fragments.
I was really caught off guard by the the surprise visit from Robin Hood and Lancelot, made for a great fight, although I do wonder what their agenda is. Also the mental image of their sexy yet hilarious getaway in a fighter jet will always be ingrained in my mind. Good to know Lancelot still remembers his flying days in Zero.
You nailed it with Mordred and Shisgou’s interactions. It feels just like it was in F/A. And now she can actually meet her father again!
Interesting to see how you changed up the teams servant and master wise. Now Shirou doesn't full reign of the Red team. Always good to see Waver and Iskander. I was worried his appearance would count the original Rider of Red out, but it's a joy to see the same servants, just under different classes. Achilles as a Lancer? Damn he’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with. Of course Proto Gil will be great to see in action.
Elizabeth seems like a perfect fit for the Black team, she complements Astolfo well. But with all these Servant changes I was a bit worried my favorite, Siegfried, wouldn’t make an appearance. I audibly cheered when he debuted alongside Gordes. Can't wait to see more of him, and hopefully he gets a much happier ending than he got in F/A.
Eager to read the next installment, where will will witness the first epic battle of the Holy Grail War: Elizabeth and Astolfo’s singing contest. Oh, and Arthur/Jeanne vs Karna/Atlanta. Although if things progress similar to Apocrypha, I predict Gordes and Siegfried will enter the fray as well.
Great job with these first few chapters, keep it up.
9/9/2015 c2 Code Zero
I like very much of this chapter, Altair-san, but if i remember well, yourself said some months ago that you dislike of Ooc, its very strange.
But i liked of your characterisation of the servants, but you forgot to add that proto-archer its not so obssessed with collect treasures like FSN-Gilgamesh.
That battle butler from the fanfic Clarent Blood Arthur, Morimoto, kind remember a bit of Walter of hellsing for his hability to go against supernatural opponents despite his advanced age, like the werewolf butler from BlazBlue.
I like very much of this chapter, Altair-san, but if i remember well, yourself said some months ago that you dislike of Ooc, its very strange.
But i liked of your characterisation of the servants, but you forgot to add that proto-archer its not so obssessed with collect treasures like FSN-Gilgamesh.
That battle butler from the fanfic Clarent Blood Arthur, Morimoto, kind remember a bit of Walter of hellsing for his hability to go against supernatural opponents despite his advanced age, like the werewolf butler from BlazBlue.
9/8/2015 c2 Guest
Yay, Prototype Gilgamesh appears! This is already gonna be awesome. And since Prototype Cu isn't among the two factions, my guess is that he might be in the other faction Robin Hood and Lancelot are in. Hopefully I'm right, I just can't wait to see him appear soon. Keep it up!
Yay, Prototype Gilgamesh appears! This is already gonna be awesome. And since Prototype Cu isn't among the two factions, my guess is that he might be in the other faction Robin Hood and Lancelot are in. Hopefully I'm right, I just can't wait to see him appear soon. Keep it up!
9/8/2015 c2 kboomerjr
And so it begins. The fight scene coming up will be fun to read. Have to say from what I know and seen of Proto Gil only one word comes to mind...Perfect. And since you added Gray to the mix that adds one more to the family reunion that's bound to happen (from what I've read she has Arthur's spear Rhongomyniad (that's a mouth full) which can only be used by thous of the Pendragon bloodline, I wonder if Arthur is going to ask for it back when he find out?). As always Good job so far and can't wait for the next chapter in this awesome fic.
P.S. Where's Proto Lancer at? We need some of that epic E rank luck of the Irish soon.
And so it begins. The fight scene coming up will be fun to read. Have to say from what I know and seen of Proto Gil only one word comes to mind...Perfect. And since you added Gray to the mix that adds one more to the family reunion that's bound to happen (from what I've read she has Arthur's spear Rhongomyniad (that's a mouth full) which can only be used by thous of the Pendragon bloodline, I wonder if Arthur is going to ask for it back when he find out?). As always Good job so far and can't wait for the next chapter in this awesome fic.
P.S. Where's Proto Lancer at? We need some of that epic E rank luck of the Irish soon.
9/8/2015 c2 4Mythfan
More servants for team ruler please. Also anyone else joining the war master wise
4MythfanMore servants for team ruler please. Also anyone else joining the war master wise