Just In
for Game Show

9/14/2015 c1 203DolbyDigital
I have no idea what Game Show is, but I thought I’d check this out anyway. I hope you don’t mind that I’m going in partially fandom blind. That’s probably going to be pretty obvious, though, when you read this.

First of all, I absolutely love the way this is formatted! I liked that you wrote it as a script. I thought that was a very interesting way to go about it. I’ve seen that technique used before and it always seemed a little out of place, but here it works amazingly well.

When you wrote [that’s what you said when you proposed] did you mean [not what you said]? As Ginny seems surprised that he wanted it back (though I certainly don’t blame him for that – those things are expensive, and if she was the one to call it off then – generally – she should give it back. (Though I suppose that’s just my opinion.)

Why can’t Albus tell Brad anything? I don’t really understand why he got kicked off. Do game shows work differently in America? ‘Cause usually that’s not something they would be allowed to do, and could probably get them sued.

I didn’t really notice many mistakes, only the one above and I think [cooky] should be [kooky] and [in out clutches] should probably be [our]. This was really well written and, again, I loved the stylistic choices you made here. (Why is no one reviewing!?)

Everyone did seem a little out of character, but I imagine that was intentional given the environment they were in – they were specifically told to act more enthusiastically, after all, and I imagine that’s what the actual play would have been like (I – very quickly – looked it up, so I only have a vague idea of how it works, but it seems like this would be the case).

I loved that Luna won the competition in the end. I imagine Hermione would have been the obvious choice, but Luna was a Ravenclaw and I think people have a tendency (at least in the HP universe) to associate a willingness to believe anything with lack of intelligence and that most definitely is not the case.

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