for The Definition of Normal3h c75 TyDM
Was nice that you at least hinted at Harmony. Harry was a bit tooooo generous with his money, but it is in line with his personality, so readers can’t object much. Dumbledore gave in too easy for such a Machiavellian criminal; if he believed strongly enough to cheat and kill (if he was manipulating James and Snape since age 12, I’m sure he set up the potters for Harry to fulfill the prophecy by dying as a child… invisibility cloak and cruddy cottage vs. fortified and heavily warded manor).
Was nice that you at least hinted at Harmony. Harry was a bit tooooo generous with his money, but it is in line with his personality, so readers can’t object much. Dumbledore gave in too easy for such a Machiavellian criminal; if he believed strongly enough to cheat and kill (if he was manipulating James and Snape since age 12, I’m sure he set up the potters for Harry to fulfill the prophecy by dying as a child… invisibility cloak and cruddy cottage vs. fortified and heavily warded manor).
4h c56 Abstract01
Compliments to you, author, for the depth of research you must have done to present this chapter so well!
This was an educational interlude worth reading.
Compliments to you, author, for the depth of research you must have done to present this chapter so well!
This was an educational interlude worth reading.
9h c51 Abstract01
Hermione is mundane-born, surely she's seen boys at the swimming pool dressed in less that Harry had on while in the med-ward?
Of course, if this is building to a 'developed' relationship, it is a good segue . . .
Hermione is mundane-born, surely she's seen boys at the swimming pool dressed in less that Harry had on while in the med-ward?
Of course, if this is building to a 'developed' relationship, it is a good segue . . .
12h c46 Abstract01
There is no love found in the Crouch family.
First, there is a father who focuses on his career over his son's upbringing, to the point that said 'junior' betrays the whole society of his parents. (And who knows what happened between husband and wife to turn away wife's affections from himself.)
Second, there is a wife/mother who dotes on her child so much as to "spoil him rotten" and then exacts an unbreakable oath from her husband (who should be her first loyalty) to betray his honor/loyalty/career.
Third, there is the afore described son.
Circling back around, there is a husband who leaves his dying wife in "that horrible place" and who then betrays his government and society to appease said wife, imperiling said society by maintaining aforementioned oath.
How could you 'unwrap' the psychologies that created this family situation?
And let's focus for a minute on the attitude of the law enforcement personnel: "I don't need to listen to your spew about your lord." Gee, should one rather assign a monitor or scribe to record all his hate-speech to analyze afterward and search for clues that could assist in dismantling that major threat to society? (although I'm not sure the society is worth saving . . . )
There is no love found in the Crouch family.
First, there is a father who focuses on his career over his son's upbringing, to the point that said 'junior' betrays the whole society of his parents. (And who knows what happened between husband and wife to turn away wife's affections from himself.)
Second, there is a wife/mother who dotes on her child so much as to "spoil him rotten" and then exacts an unbreakable oath from her husband (who should be her first loyalty) to betray his honor/loyalty/career.
Third, there is the afore described son.
Circling back around, there is a husband who leaves his dying wife in "that horrible place" and who then betrays his government and society to appease said wife, imperiling said society by maintaining aforementioned oath.
How could you 'unwrap' the psychologies that created this family situation?
And let's focus for a minute on the attitude of the law enforcement personnel: "I don't need to listen to your spew about your lord." Gee, should one rather assign a monitor or scribe to record all his hate-speech to analyze afterward and search for clues that could assist in dismantling that major threat to society? (although I'm not sure the society is worth saving . . . )
22h c24 TyDM
Good job removing the charms and compulsions teachers... but you forgot to ask, HOW DO YOU KEEP DUMBLES FROM SIMPLY DOING IT AGAIN!?
Good job removing the charms and compulsions teachers... but you forgot to ask, HOW DO YOU KEEP DUMBLES FROM SIMPLY DOING IT AGAIN!?
3/15 c38 Abstract01
The further I read your story, the farther from canon it strays. This is a good thing!
I am enjoying the character development, especially of Harry and his friend Hermione.
Although, this Dumbledore seems to have acquired Potter's canon passivity and naivety. All his plans are being de-constructed and he has not attempted to return them to the pathway he designed.
I suppose that is what the second half of your novel will show: the adversity from dmbl and volde's efforts to reacquire his powers . . .
Looking forward to it!
The further I read your story, the farther from canon it strays. This is a good thing!
I am enjoying the character development, especially of Harry and his friend Hermione.
Although, this Dumbledore seems to have acquired Potter's canon passivity and naivety. All his plans are being de-constructed and he has not attempted to return them to the pathway he designed.
I suppose that is what the second half of your novel will show: the adversity from dmbl and volde's efforts to reacquire his powers . . .
Looking forward to it!
3/15 c30 Abstract01
Lupin is off-base.
Harry IS fighting his own battle by standing up to DMalfoy AND to Snape. I suppose the "poor, wretched werewolf" will make an appearance in this story after all.
And there was no "angry Harry" displayed; he behaved exactly as one of his station should when confronted with untenable conditions. (remember how Malfoy acts?)
I had hopes that the characters would continue to shine forth; am disillusioned.
Lupin is off-base.
Harry IS fighting his own battle by standing up to DMalfoy AND to Snape. I suppose the "poor, wretched werewolf" will make an appearance in this story after all.
And there was no "angry Harry" displayed; he behaved exactly as one of his station should when confronted with untenable conditions. (remember how Malfoy acts?)
I had hopes that the characters would continue to shine forth; am disillusioned.
3/15 c24 Abstract01
This is the most canon-changing chapter I've read!
Hindsight is wonderful for reading about how things should have been.
Thank you, Ducky1776, for different ideas and new perspectives.
This is the most canon-changing chapter I've read!
Hindsight is wonderful for reading about how things should have been.
Thank you, Ducky1776, for different ideas and new perspectives.
3/10 c75 mysinger1
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
2/28 c30 hushpuppy22
Lily has to apologize to her ex BFF who joined the Wizard Nazis? Total and complete BS.
Lily has to apologize to her ex BFF who joined the Wizard Nazis? Total and complete BS.
2/22 c75 bpvreader
Thanks for sharing your story. I did enjoy the time I spent following this story. I wish you luck in your future endeavors in writing.
Thanks for sharing your story. I did enjoy the time I spent following this story. I wish you luck in your future endeavors in writing.
2/15 c75 Dogs324
Brava! I greatly enjoyed your story. I am usually one for a lot of angst, so this was a nice change of pace. I love the idea that so much power in one man caused ripples of effects that threw the world out of normality. In his efforts to manipulate things for the greater good, Albus was instead causing harm and chaos. I love that Sirius and Harry were the driving forces for so much change and progress. Thanks for sharing your excellent writing!
Brava! I greatly enjoyed your story. I am usually one for a lot of angst, so this was a nice change of pace. I love the idea that so much power in one man caused ripples of effects that threw the world out of normality. In his efforts to manipulate things for the greater good, Albus was instead causing harm and chaos. I love that Sirius and Harry were the driving forces for so much change and progress. Thanks for sharing your excellent writing!
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