Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Paris in the Sand

1/14/2016 c1 Croki
Aside from the author not knowing what a dumb waiter is and how it works this is a nicely written story from a writer who captures the nature of the Roxton/Marguerite relationship. It would be great if she were to write a longer fic rather than just these "sand" stories.
12/4/2015 c1 Guest
This is ok however it's too predictable and unoriginal.
10/28/2015 c1 Guest
Excellent!
Love this companion piece. Super sweet.
10/7/2015 c1 Guest
Bingo, I need assistance in a matter. Do you aware of the episode in TLW that has Roxton having given a Victoria Cross medal for the world war first. I have watched many series of TLW but cannot see this in one.
9/18/2015 c1 I
A short short story that's not really a story, it's lacks depth, a plot and your characterisation is rather poor.
9/16/2015 c1 Guest
I thought this was really great, I enjoyed it massively. Not sure if I ever saw Roxton as being flawlessly respectable though...

Please keep writing and don't let whatever is going on in the review section get to you
9/16/2015 c1 DurtySanchez
Trouble is with this scene is the tired plot, way too predictable, just like the show you are running out of ideas. Just to irritate you cheeseburger consuming Yanks living in your cultureless void TWERK is an old English word from 1820, a combination of two words twist and jerk so nothing new there. Marguerite is free to twerk away. No idea about guns and not interested in them either. No need to thank me, I am only too glad to help educate the uncultured and ignorant.
9/15/2015 c1 1Le MF
What a cute story! Thanks for keeping TLW alive. Write new stories, please!
9/14/2015 c1 Hera
Aww what a cute story! Thank you for posting it and for keeping them alive i love that people are still posting stories about the lost world!

Keep them coming!

Cheers
9/13/2015 c1 jag389
good job. I for one will read you tlw story. I love this show,still wacth it on dvd.
9/12/2015 c1 20rann
A very charming bedtime story. Thanks for keeping Marguerite and Roxton as well as the plateau in our sights.
9/11/2015 c1 19dolphinrain
This was a very sweet little piece and I was glad to read it. I'm glad for any little glance into the Treehouse. I am happy to see anyone still writing for The Lost World despite the negativity perpetuated by a few. Thank you very kindly for sharing this with us.
9/11/2015 c1 21Bingo32
Thank you all for the interest in this brief scene. Please keep in mind, the story is about Marguerite and Roxton not dumbwaiters and leotards. The fact that both of these things existed long before our adventurers came to the Plateau is good enough for me. This is a lighthearted, fictional (and apparently, anachronistic) account of a mystical place and time. I had fun writing it; it is my sincere hope that others might find joy in reading it.

You had best not rile me up, or I may give Roxton a SIG Sauer P232 and have Marguerite twerk.
9/11/2015 c1 33Gemini Explorer
An excellent short tale of the main couple from that delightful show.

Needs minor proofreading. You used "snuck" where I suspect that
"sneaked" might be the better word, at least for Marguerite or another Briton of that day. Doubtless, the gauche, abrasive, egocentric Limey snob reviewers will correct us if we're both wrong. But I think that "snuck" actually is an American slang word, not that the TV series didn't use American words at times, despite being produced by Canadians in Australia. They also used modern language and PC values in general, as doing otherwise would have confused most viewers and gone right over the heads of many. Surely, one can allow as much to the average fic scribe. But "snuck" just didn't ring right to me, not from her, and then.

Time had "passed" in the "past", those 15 years since Marguerite found herself scrunched into a dumbwaiter in her knickers. I must say, from a male viewpoint, that account would have stimulated and intrigued John as much as it amused him. Anyway, you need "15 years past." Not "passed." An easy correction...

I wondered why Marguerite was wearing only knickers, as much as I enjoyed visualizing that setting. (I am of course, sometimes snarled at by snide reviewers who like shaking an admonitory finger at me for mentioning pretty lingerie, worn by our TLW heroines or by VS models in a fic set in modern times.)

So I certainly didn't fail to imagine what style and color of knickers these were and just how she looked in them. That appealed to me and added to the story. I like writing scenes where the girls remove their clothes for various reasons, but it never occurred to me to have one strip to crawl into a dumbwaiter! Was the clothing of the day so bulky that it'd not have let her get in there while dressed? I can also see why she might have worn so little to let her flee without snagging anything or tripping if pursued. If you read Robert A. Heinlein's, "Tunnel in the Sky", a wonderful survival story set on a far off planet, the hero's sister mentioned that her Amazon scouts dressed like that to feel vulnerable and intensely aware of their surroundings. She never lost one of those girls sent out to explore behind enemy lines. But I don't quite see Marg. as having that inspiration. Still, I know how John must have felt as she described that manner of dress, maybe to excite him and encourage him to test her, ah, flexibility. Oh: wait: was this "flexibility" pertaining just to the ability to squeeze into that device and not applicable to anything they'd just been doing before she told this tale of the aborted diamond quest? Enquiring, lewd minds want to know!

It was rather amusing to find that even the careful Marguerite can mess up and have a plan go awry. But if she fell three stories, I think she'd be injured beyond a sprained ankle! Had this been my fic, and of course it is not, I might have instead had her get stuck in there, the door jammed. After an eternity, Adrienne would have pulled her back down and had to work to release the stuck door, perhaps with the intended victim's servants loitering in conversation just beyond the door to the passage with the dumbwaiter. How's that for ample peril?

If she was undetected, why did the police swarm the grounds? Did the girls set off an alarm somewhere along the way? Did dogs alert and bring guards? It seems a question that needs an answer.

You have a typo where John says, "You're lucky you weren't caught." You have "Your" for "You're." Probably stayed up too late while typing, eh? I know you know better. Not that this very error isn't common among other so-called "authors" here.

As ever, you showed skill with dialogue and in depicting the characters. I have seldom seen either of them so well and plausibly presented as they were here.

Now, I wish that I didn't have to say this, but we have been plagued by a few very critical, vitriolic "reviewers" who are obsessed with tiny details that very few today know about, re their national minutiae and British spellings, which is unrealistic to expect in amateur American authors writing about a foreign land in a setting that took place nearly 100 years ago.

But these ..individuals...are here and are still sniping. One just tried to disrupt another board dedicated to TLW. With this in mind, and because they clearly are trying to intimidate authors, I want to thank you for having the courage to publish a new story about this series. Many of us love that show, and it can be kept alive for us if brave authors like you keep posting fics, despite razzing by those who should show better breeding and more mercy. That the story is not only boldly presented in the face of such heckling, but was also so well done, witty, and charming, speaks well of you as a person and as an author.

I liked this fic a great deal. I nitpicked at it a bit, for it could stand to have some aspects better explained. But it is nonetheless a GOOD story, delightful to read. Thank you for posting it. Even if it will cause me to fantasize about just what Marguerite looked like in those knickers and about how much lingerie has improved since. But there are worse things for a man to daydream about...
9/11/2015 c1 sybermann
This is a nice idea but it doesn't work for me for the following reasons:
Leotards were not worn by female ballet dancers at the time you suggest. Ballet dancers wore their own form of clothing. Leotards were an item of clothing associated with the circus; strong men in particular and acrobats. I don't quite see that Roxton would make comparison with knickers and a leotard, given that leotards were worn mainly by male acrobats and strong men. I know it is an attempt at innuendo but it falls flat.
A dumb waiter was used to transport food between the kitchens and the dining room. It would not have gone to the bedrooms. As the name dumb waiter implies the purpose of the whole mechanism is silence. A dumbwaiter would have been regularly used and well maintained.
These historical points are relevant as they form the backbone of your scene.
Its worth researching things a little more carefully, many of you readers here like the time period so will pick you up on these things.

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service