for A Twisted Strawhat4/9/2016 c16 
19Estriella
I love when Luffy is darker and strong and wise. I like your idea. Luffy kidnapped and tortured as a child is an interesting idea. What I do not like that Luffy still taking the serum. I understand that Luffy took him when he was in captivity, but now he is free and he does it voluntarily. I do not like it because it's a stupid move and Luffy seems to be wise in this fanfiction. And in the original Luffy relies on his power and reningu and not on some tricks as serum.
Vivi in the crew? Nah. I like her, but she's so ... pure and innocent. It does not fit me for this darker version of Straw hat. BUT it would be interesting if Vivi would be a little darker. I do not like Yosaku and Jonny so I understand you. I love Nami! She's a badass. I hope that she does not regret kill Arlong.
And I really like how the whole crew obeys the orders of the captain. For some reason, a rare phenomenon in fanfiction OP.
I can not wait for the next chapter.
Sorry for my English!
19EstriellaI love when Luffy is darker and strong and wise. I like your idea. Luffy kidnapped and tortured as a child is an interesting idea. What I do not like that Luffy still taking the serum. I understand that Luffy took him when he was in captivity, but now he is free and he does it voluntarily. I do not like it because it's a stupid move and Luffy seems to be wise in this fanfiction. And in the original Luffy relies on his power and reningu and not on some tricks as serum.
Vivi in the crew? Nah. I like her, but she's so ... pure and innocent. It does not fit me for this darker version of Straw hat. BUT it would be interesting if Vivi would be a little darker. I do not like Yosaku and Jonny so I understand you. I love Nami! She's a badass. I hope that she does not regret kill Arlong.
And I really like how the whole crew obeys the orders of the captain. For some reason, a rare phenomenon in fanfiction OP.
I can not wait for the next chapter.
Sorry for my English!
4/8/2016 c16 Awareness Bringer
Sounds like you've got interesting stories, if somewhat disturbingly dark. Why not make this one a harem like Darkest Day? If you want to chat you're more than welcome to reply back.
Sounds like you've got interesting stories, if somewhat disturbingly dark. Why not make this one a harem like Darkest Day? If you want to chat you're more than welcome to reply back.
4/6/2016 c16 jmc666
Loving it! Though I do beg for the LuffyxHarem - especially with Nami in it. Definitely grounds for Nami being infatuated/crushing with Luffy. Though there's nothing really that shows Luffy seeing Nami as a sister like you'd said before, more just awkward care/concern.
Loving it! Though I do beg for the LuffyxHarem - especially with Nami in it. Definitely grounds for Nami being infatuated/crushing with Luffy. Though there's nothing really that shows Luffy seeing Nami as a sister like you'd said before, more just awkward care/concern.
4/3/2016 c15 Guest
I don't think it'd be a good idea for Vivi to join. :/ As an honorary member, or similar to what Jimbei is to the WB pirates, sure...but not an actual SH pirate.
But you have final say on how you're going to write it, so that's up to you. :)
I don't think it'd be a good idea for Vivi to join. :/ As an honorary member, or similar to what Jimbei is to the WB pirates, sure...but not an actual SH pirate.
But you have final say on how you're going to write it, so that's up to you. :)
4/3/2016 c10 Guest
Ooooh...so basically this means that so far, Sanji is the only one who has an inkling as to what Luffy's past was like...oh man...can't wait for the reunion! :D
Ooooh...so basically this means that so far, Sanji is the only one who has an inkling as to what Luffy's past was like...oh man...can't wait for the reunion! :D
4/1/2016 c16 shepardpatton
Awesome story and that Arlong fight was amazing. Also Luffy is a tortured soul which of course attracts ladies like water in a desert to anything in said desert
Awesome story and that Arlong fight was amazing. Also Luffy is a tortured soul which of course attracts ladies like water in a desert to anything in said desert
4/1/2016 c16 10Forzarismo
This story is amazing! All that darkness really amps it up as well! I really liked the part where Luffy played Jenga with Arlong's spinal cord. Very fine dark humor.
10ForzarismoThis story is amazing! All that darkness really amps it up as well! I really liked the part where Luffy played Jenga with Arlong's spinal cord. Very fine dark humor.
4/1/2016 c16 GirugamashPanda
Yo! Just read through the entire story and I got to say I enjoyed it a lot. As for the lemon that's coming soon; is it Luffy and Nami? If so I can't wait! Anyway it's okay if you don't know how to write a lemon, F-ckthesystem didn't know how to write a lemon but he better with each lemon he wrote. Just write one and get some opinions from others or read ones. Anyway I look forward for your next update and I wish you a good day.
Yo! Just read through the entire story and I got to say I enjoyed it a lot. As for the lemon that's coming soon; is it Luffy and Nami? If so I can't wait! Anyway it's okay if you don't know how to write a lemon, F-ckthesystem didn't know how to write a lemon but he better with each lemon he wrote. Just write one and get some opinions from others or read ones. Anyway I look forward for your next update and I wish you a good day.
4/1/2016 c16 Koncor the great
As to lemons I can help send me what you have in docx and I'll see if I can improve and give advise on latter parts if you dobt my skill read expament twilights twisted love a few of those scenes were his but you should be able to see were I was involved plus it might give you some ideas
Honestly I feal arlong got off easy but still it was fun and I'm satisfied
As to lemons I can help send me what you have in docx and I'll see if I can improve and give advise on latter parts if you dobt my skill read expament twilights twisted love a few of those scenes were his but you should be able to see were I was involved plus it might give you some ideas
Honestly I feal arlong got off easy but still it was fun and I'm satisfied
4/1/2016 c16 pipi96
I love it
Dark but love it
Finally arlong is dead
I don't think vivi will be good in this craw I mean with her character and all?...no I don't think so
What about Najico?
And about lemon I have read some stories but can't help you write one
Try reading some maybe it will give you some ideas
I love it
Dark but love it
Finally arlong is dead
I don't think vivi will be good in this craw I mean with her character and all?...no I don't think so
What about Najico?
And about lemon I have read some stories but can't help you write one
Try reading some maybe it will give you some ideas