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12h c22 nicogo707070
Great story
9/22 c20 PikaMew1288
Why wouldn't Halios be able to speak all Magical Languages? Aren't Daedra beings of Pure Magic?
9/19 c6 anon44575173
I did not expect you to say the N word.
9/17 c22 8SithLordNilis
I could have sworn I saw senile instead of smile when lockheart did his intro
8/28 c2 shadowdawn7971
So, I'm in the progress of reading your story and am just now going into the third chapter after reading the Chapter 2 Explanation. While at this point any criticism or comment upon the writing is a bit moot since you are so far into the story, I still feel the need to give some.

Let me preface anything said by the simple fact I very much enjoyed the premise of the first chapter and intend to continue reading. You have an interesting plot that has a great deal of opportunity moving forward. I look forward to seeing what you can do with it.

Okay, on to the criticism.

My only criticism is involving Uncle Sheo. I wasn't worried about the rationale behind why Sheo would get involved, to be honest. He is the Prince of Madness after all. He doesn't NEED a reason to get involved. He was bored, saw something interesting, and chose to involve himself. The fallout of having Harry Potter go missing would cause enough madness on its own to amuse the Lord of Cheese. So that was good enough for me. I bought into it without any further explanation needed. So you are good there.

The criticism has to do with how you are writing Sheo's speech. It's too human, too mundane. Uncle Sheo is over the top, a complete gibbering lunatic, and his speech should reflect that. When he faced Voldemort, he should have been making any grandiose statements on morality but rather taunted him with his impotence and incontinence. I mean, he'd not even know if he made a mess in his small pants without a nose to smell it, after all.

So there is my one criticism of the story. Other than that, it is engaging, interesting, and has a lot of potential that I'm seriously looking forward to reading tonight! And best of all, it has been updated this year. That is a rarity these days for crossover fan fics on this site.
8/16 c22 WolfGodMaster
didnt serius already told helios about moony? and she responded with borrowing the ring of hercine.
8/13 c22 Sinclaire149
Can't wait for the next update I love this story, I await the next chapter with baited breath
8/7 c2 ShadowHunter219
You forgot that the tentacle form is accompanied by floating distorted eyeballs.
7/29 c22 Mikael Skoglund
In one of the earlier chapters, Halios was told about lupin being a werewolf. Halios also said he would talk to uncle hircine back then.
And I thought lupin was looking for a way to find Harry, not looking for a cure?
7/16 c22 CJtheRed
It's a second Christmas where Moony was talked about. During first year he was under magical contract teaching in Japan until the end of school year & Halios told Sirius about Hircine. He was going to ask for an artifact to help control the beast...
7/15 c13 1TyrTheTaur
Huh... I did not expect for Fate to come here/
7/15 c15 Chryseum
Mixing fate in here feels a bit clunky and means that now anything goes and all structure to this novel will slowly disappear... Not to mention, they passed an ancient Greek dagger without even looking at it even though they want to look for Rule Breaker...
7/14 c15 God of crossovers
Oh god we’re all doomed
7/14 c22 ElementalMaster16
Fun chapter, glad to see this continued, though I understand why it's been hard for you to do so.

I would like to point out that there's some continuity errors though, the return of Remus being the main. Perhaps a read-through to help you remember what's been mentioned before is a good idea.

Please update soon (_)
7/14 c22 nonsocial314
Sirius tells Halios about Remus in chapter 10 and he's in Japan
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