for My Godfather1/9 c1 Guest
I like it but I hate the overuse of the word Pup
I like it but I hate the overuse of the word Pup
1/7 c27 missgsmith51
Please excuse the nitpick (former teacher here). Each time you switch speakers, you need to start a new paragraph. When you have more than one speaker in the same paragraph, it is easy to confuse who is saying what. As an example, the following paragraph should be broken up into three shorter paragraphs:
"So what are you looking at?" Sirius asked, gesturing towards the file Reg was currently reading. "Just some details regarding Malfoy's case. It's nothing we aren't aware of. Education, finances, credentials. That's about it." Regulus explained. "When you were going through those files, I took a look at the 'artifacts' we found at Malfoy's. We found some pretty dark stuff in there." Said Sirius. "We couldn't examine most of it since we require certain equipment. I told the others that we'll work on it tomorrow." He continued. (Below is how it should read.)
"So what are you looking at?" Sirius asked, gesturing towards the file Reg was currently reading.
"Just some details regarding Malfoy's case. It's nothing we aren't aware of. Education, finances, credentials. That's about it," Regulus explained.
"When you were going through those files, I took a look at the 'artifacts' we found at Malfoy's. We found some pretty dark stuff in there," said Sirius. "We couldn't examine most of it since we require certain equipment. I told the others that we'll work on it tomorrow," he continued.
(Again, sorry for the nitpick.)
Please excuse the nitpick (former teacher here). Each time you switch speakers, you need to start a new paragraph. When you have more than one speaker in the same paragraph, it is easy to confuse who is saying what. As an example, the following paragraph should be broken up into three shorter paragraphs:
"So what are you looking at?" Sirius asked, gesturing towards the file Reg was currently reading. "Just some details regarding Malfoy's case. It's nothing we aren't aware of. Education, finances, credentials. That's about it." Regulus explained. "When you were going through those files, I took a look at the 'artifacts' we found at Malfoy's. We found some pretty dark stuff in there." Said Sirius. "We couldn't examine most of it since we require certain equipment. I told the others that we'll work on it tomorrow." He continued. (Below is how it should read.)
"So what are you looking at?" Sirius asked, gesturing towards the file Reg was currently reading.
"Just some details regarding Malfoy's case. It's nothing we aren't aware of. Education, finances, credentials. That's about it," Regulus explained.
"When you were going through those files, I took a look at the 'artifacts' we found at Malfoy's. We found some pretty dark stuff in there," said Sirius. "We couldn't examine most of it since we require certain equipment. I told the others that we'll work on it tomorrow," he continued.
(Again, sorry for the nitpick.)
12/12/2020 c34 HP girl
So far I've been enjoying the plot. I'm loving it. Hoping you'll write more..
So far I've been enjoying the plot. I'm loving it. Hoping you'll write more..
12/7/2020 c18 Harry's girl
So far loving it. Though Harry's is a survivor of physical, verbal and emotional abuse, a little corporal punishment is not the same.
So far loving it. Though Harry's is a survivor of physical, verbal and emotional abuse, a little corporal punishment is not the same.
9/13/2020 c18 Alexia17
Good evening, (I apologize for sures mistakes I'm going to make, I am French)
It has been several times that I reread this fanfiction, which is excellent, by the way, and I wonder each time if you really intend to write Sirius to return the cape to Harry ?
Because it’s certain that Harry if he gets it back will use it and probably in trouble that invariably fall on him.
Also I love your vision of Sirius and I think the same as you, Sirius deserves to live and Harry deserves a family.
Good evening, (I apologize for sures mistakes I'm going to make, I am French)
It has been several times that I reread this fanfiction, which is excellent, by the way, and I wonder each time if you really intend to write Sirius to return the cape to Harry ?
Because it’s certain that Harry if he gets it back will use it and probably in trouble that invariably fall on him.
Also I love your vision of Sirius and I think the same as you, Sirius deserves to live and Harry deserves a family.
8/27/2020 c50 lanalight1
This is by far one of the best Harry Potter fanfictions I've ever read. You portrayed all the characters so incredibly well and managed to change the plot of the books to fit this story enough that it made perfect sense. Reading this was truly an experience. With your talented writing, It was as though this story were real, and with every new encounter the characters faced, It was as if I could feel their emotions. I truly enjoyed reading this and I hope you choose to continue writing this story.
Thank you :)
This is by far one of the best Harry Potter fanfictions I've ever read. You portrayed all the characters so incredibly well and managed to change the plot of the books to fit this story enough that it made perfect sense. Reading this was truly an experience. With your talented writing, It was as though this story were real, and with every new encounter the characters faced, It was as if I could feel their emotions. I truly enjoyed reading this and I hope you choose to continue writing this story.
Thank you :)
8/2/2020 c50 Khaleesi1316
I love this story! I hope it’s not abandoned and that you start writing it again soon.
I love this story! I hope it’s not abandoned and that you start writing it again soon.
8/2/2020 c50 
2Jules81
Oh my god! I love that story! It's awesome, the characters are great and well written! I really like your writing style ! I hope you'll continue it one day (absolutely no pressure though, do as you feel !)
2Jules81Oh my god! I love that story! It's awesome, the characters are great and well written! I really like your writing style ! I hope you'll continue it one day (absolutely no pressure though, do as you feel !)
7/7/2020 c27 aqp.gerencia
Sorry for using the google translator but I still don't speak English, I'm trying hard
This chapter is incredible, you really are incredible writing, I don't know if it will be possible to continue with the story of Padfoot and his Pup, I love it and you haven't finished it and if I want to read it all
Sorry for using the google translator but I still don't speak English, I'm trying hard
This chapter is incredible, you really are incredible writing, I don't know if it will be possible to continue with the story of Padfoot and his Pup, I love it and you haven't finished it and if I want to read it all
7/7/2020 c26 aqp.gerencia
fiel a mi palabra, me encanta como escribes, un poco cortos los capitulos pero esta bien, adoro a tu Sirius, es exactamente como me gustaria que hubiera sido en los libros
true to my word, I love how you write, the chapters are a bit short but that's fine, I adore your Sirius, it's exactly how I wish it would have been in the books
Sorry for using the google translator but I still don't speak English, I'm trying hard
fiel a mi palabra, me encanta como escribes, un poco cortos los capitulos pero esta bien, adoro a tu Sirius, es exactamente como me gustaria que hubiera sido en los libros
true to my word, I love how you write, the chapters are a bit short but that's fine, I adore your Sirius, it's exactly how I wish it would have been in the books
Sorry for using the google translator but I still don't speak English, I'm trying hard
7/6/2020 c25 aqp.gerencia
Perfecto mantienes los giros de la historia muy bien y preparas la inclusión de los demás personajes
Perfecto mantienes los giros de la historia muy bien y preparas la inclusión de los demás personajes