Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for New Adventure

12/19/2017 c6 Kai Yuki
Where is chapter 7.
9/5/2017 c6 27Don Orbit
Will Yuyas other versions Yugo and Yuri be in the story as well? Zarc needs after all all 4 of them to be reborn.
6/13/2017 c1 3Xander1996
The original writer have made a point, and a very strong one, you know. The character are a little trowed on the plank of the ship, and the story itself it is not too much stable on the premises that you have created, but, you can develop more on that weakness
1/8/2016 c6 10DNAWriter07
You know what? This isn't too bad. You've got potential writing skills. Some of grammar needs a little work though, but in other words, it's creative. ;) Not bad.
11/18/2015 c1 5Bluesparkz
You know I have never thought of this type of cross over actually working well, but you proved me wrong (: I hope you have as much fun writing this story as I did reading it (I had allot of fun) Hope to see loads of new stories and chapters from you in the future. (:
10/14/2015 c5 3Style1234
Would you keep platonic love between Margaret and Yuya, please?
9/24/2015 c4 100lalunaticscribe
I'm... not sure what to think.

First, the choice of names. I must note that I prefer subbed episodes to dubbed episodes. For one, I find that hearing the original Japanese gives the anime a fluidity it doesn't much have in dubbed episodes. So I usually write Akiza as Aki, Zuzu as Yuzu and so on. The other reason I prefer the subbed versions is because of the inherent violence; it feels more real than the dubs, like you have characters that you can build on.

The premise is alright, but it feels like there's no setup to the plot. It outright feels like Yuya just got dumped into the One Piece world for our entertainment, which is sad. I mean, Yugo has an in-universe explanation that Clear Wing Synchro Dragon just likes to mess with him by warping him about. Yuya doesn't have that. Plus, you have to remember that he's in the middle of a war against Academia currently. He can't afford to take time off, even if the concept of skipping dimensions allows him to return back to whatever point in time he vacated the dimension. There's no fear or urgency to Yuya, which should contrast him to the fairly laidback Signers-Strawhat-Heart group. Except Law. The characters are flat and without concerns, which is odd because in the Pirate Alliance Saga it should be the opposite, and it's weird for Yuya because he is worried, he has been worried, and he's not acting out or putting on his clown face.

There's also no horror or fridge horror to be gotten here. Like, if you saw the first Shay vs Sora (Shun vs Sora to me) duel, the scene where Revolution Falcon bombs the Duel Field in Arc-V should give you chills. It should give Yuya chills, and thus Yuya is less likely to use the cards he treasures for entertainment in an actual life-or-death battle. Plus, where did Smoker and Tashigi come from? They're like, en route to Vegapunk's lab to save the kids in the Punk Hazard arc from dying of poison. And speaking of poison, where's Caesar Clown?

So, building up on these three points, I find myself wondering where is the payoff? It is a good start, but I am sure that you could handle this premise a lot more plausibly than right now. In fact, let me throw one suggestion: Entermate Carnival aboard the Thousand Sunny! It's not only for Rule of Cool, but is also established Yuya as the indisputable good guy to everyone; albeit a bit too happy. Then you can directly contrast it to the Dressrosa arc later.

So... yeah, I think those are the main points for New Adventure. I look forward to any future chapters, though.

LLS
9/23/2015 c4 3Style1234
OMG. I love your story, keep on writing. I've been waiting to see whether they will write a crossover of YGO Arc v and One Piece.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service