Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Phantom Rebellion

9/23 c100 5t-rex989
I see things are heating up.
9/23 c100 13KuriMaster13
Okay, a cooldown chapter after the big fight makes since... though it seems kind of redundant to go over each individual event that happened over the last couple of chapters not only because those events just happened, but also twice in the same chapter.

You probably could have summarized Danny telling it to his mom as "He told her everything he could from the words before the fight, to helping save Wraith after the battle, and any detail he could in between." and that would have been fine.

Likewise, from Dani's end, everything from "It had been an intense battle..." to "... before leaving the hut." probably could have been cut without loosing anything.

Despite the redundancy, this looked pretty good. :)
9/10 c99 KuriMaster13
Nice. :)
I think the whole offer to join the rebels might be a much this soon (as they only really had 2 intersections so far), and it might have been better to keep it at trying to get her to see the truth about Vlad.
Joining the Rebels implies having her on the battlefield fighting alongside them, which would be a pretty big shift as Danny knows that Wraith doesn't have any reason to leave the Empire yet (mostly because she is being kept in the dark) let along fight on the exact opposing side she is currently on.

Now, it's fine to have Dani join the Rebels anyway by the end, but as it stands, it seems more like Danny would be more concerned about getting her away from Vlad then having her fight with the Rebels, and that his offer should have been to give her a place where no one is telling you how to think or where you don't need to use fear to get respect.

That having been said, the fight was good, the rescue operation was solid (it even seemed to embody some actual ninja tricks which I saw is a plus), and I am glad about the fight's outcome, Danny seems to have one, though it seems to be by luck, implying that it could have gone very differently if the dice didn't roll that exact way, and thus keep Dani as a valid threat, and the fact that there are little signs of her switching is proof that Danny is going to work hard to get Dani to see the light, which will make it that much sweeter when he is successful (assuming he is of course.)
9/9 c99 5t-rex989
This is the most exciting part yet! Danny already sounding like a true Jedi.
8/21 c98 t-rex989
This duel is going to be epic! I hope Dani can be saved.
8/21 c98 13KuriMaster13
Oh Boy... We are getting the Phantom clash next.
Good Luck Danny.
8/4 c97 KuriMaster13
Nice. :)
8/3 c97 5t-rex989
You did another excellent job. What wonder what Dash and Kwan will feel about Wraith?
7/26 c96 13KuriMaster13
Yep, Dani is being awesome... hopefully she will be just as awesome once she switches to the Light side. Assuming her Cuz can get her to see it first that is.
7/20 c95 5t-rex989
A superb job. I feel sorry the rebels Vlad’s sending Wraith after.
7/19 c95 13KuriMaster13
Oh Man... it is going to be really hard for Danny to get through to his cuz.
6/17 c94 KuriMaster13
Hmm, interesting... Poor Dani.
6/16 c94 5t-rex989
You did another excellent job. So I wonder how long it will be before Vlad considers using the device on himself.
5/31 c93 t-rex989
So this is getting pretty grim. I hope Danielle is able to be saved. You did a superp job by the way.
5/31 c93 13KuriMaster13
Okay, yeah, this one definitely feel like there is a bit more going on in it.

Trying to remember who Big Danny is... I'm thinking from FoP... Wanda's Dad?

Poor Dani... it's going to be a lot harder for Danny to get threw to her then in DP.
161 Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service