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5/21/2019 c9 chaosshadow19
Go kill yourself asshole.

This story is complete and utter garbage.

Go suck Luffy's dick somewhere else.

You are a complete and utter disgrace to writers everywhere.

A garbage series like One Piece should just stay in the trash.
4/2/2016 c3 9SamuraiBuddha
I'm realizing more and more issues with every chapter. The only thing keeping me interested is the characterization, which is on point. However, I'm impressed that you manage to fix your issues in the next chapter whatever criticism I have with the current, so eventually you could run out of problems. But you haven't yet, so here goes: grammar needs work but in a different way. Your prose still needs improvement, and your tenses are pretty random. Taking all this into account: 4.5/10
4/2/2016 c2 SamuraiBuddha
Grammatical issues with characters' dialogue. Also, there was a bit of choppy dialogue in general, poor prose in this chapter. 5.5/10
4/2/2016 c1 SamuraiBuddha
An enjoyable story, but the repetition of names at the beginning of the sentences became bothersome(this is a bit nitpicky to be honest, we all do it brother) but the sections in the very beginning were huge turn offs because of their large block nature. I'm looking forwards to your story though, 7/10
3/29/2016 c9 Guest
Excellent story! The characters are in character and don't seem overpowered! Keep up the good work!
3/27/2016 c9 9merry1995
Good pair of chapters! I had to go back to the first chapter because i did not remember anything and noted that the quality of them went up with each one. I would suggest going back to the first chapter to fix the grammar errors. There are times where you skip words or there are two repeated words. It would raise followers as people usually judge stories by their first chapter. I don't care much so i read this story and i don't regret it.
Naruto isn't an overpowered god which is great as all the stories do that. Sakura gets a more realistic look as authors always undermine her, that's cool. The setting of your story is good as you don't use the cliche dimension jumping, which is not bad but overused. Naruto and Luffy's past is realistic and cool, i like it.
I wonder if you will add more ninja to the story...
I don't know what you plan for the pairing. Luffy with Hancock or Nami or someone else? Zoro seems to fear Sakura which is kind of funny, if they were a couple i would know who has the pants in that one hahaha. For Naruto, if he gets a girl, i suggest you do something with someone on the other side of the law, would be interesting to see Naruto convincing a marine in his own tipical way that not all pirates are bad. It would be so much like him! xD
If you're considering at one point having Sasuke make an appearance, i will beg you to have him as cannon as possible as people go out of their way to make him a total douchebag.
Naruto and Robin could connect as friends because of their past...
I wonder how you will have Naruto reveal his status a Jinchuriki and if Akatsuki will appear...
That's all for now! Have a nice day!
3/26/2016 c9 4Gamelover41592
8-9: excellent work on these chapters
3/26/2016 c7 chouji 19
Nyc chapter but am wondering, Wat role sakura and naruto will play N da crew cause every member of D straw hat has 1 even robin
3/26/2016 c7 sekirei 3
Cool story, and funny too pls update as soon as u can
2/9/2016 c3 26JensenDaniels32
"Luffy GRABBED his hat and PLACES it on his head." The word "grabbed" is past tense. The word "places" is present tense. The correct way to write this would be either "Luffy GRABBED his hat and PLACED it on his head.", or Luffy GRABS his hat and PLACES it on his head." Just pick either past or present tense and stick with it.
2/9/2016 c1 JensenDaniels32
Nice!
2/6/2016 c7 4Gamelover41592
nice work on this chapter can't wait to see Sakura and Nami interact
12/10/2015 c6 1FreakingLEM
WOAH!
To be honest, I actually like this chapter the most! All the other chapters are pretty great as well!
I wasn't expecting Naruto and Luffy to be Childhood friends. The only thing that came to my mind was Naruto accidentally sent himself and Sakura to One Piece.
I forgot not to judge a book by its cover.
Hey, By the way!
Great fanfiction!
Do keep up the good work, I like you already~!
12/1/2015 c6 4Gamelover41592
this has potential like the last one but are you still going to change up the crew?
12/1/2015 c1 21chosobestboi
A bit of advice
Separate each dialogue into different paragraphs
Ur paragraph is too large
Its tiring to read
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