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6/9/2019 c14 Echos of the Storm
this is an awesome fanfic so please continue it when you have time.
5/10/2019 c7 Guest
Why would naruto be shocked and not have expected Mito to have inherited her mother’s bloodline? That doesn’t make any sense.
5/10/2019 c6 Guest
Sub-Zero-san?! My god do you not even read your on dialogue? Even if just mentally? How can you actually write this and not realize “wow, mixing a foreign syntax and suffixes with my native language sounds completely asinine.” Seriously, I freaking dare you to add those suffixes to your own words when talking with anyone you come across in your life.

“No!” You say/think because you don’t wish to sound like a crazy fool or a weird 5 year old little kid! Stop using these suffixes. You are destroying your own story because your dialogue sounds stupid. Why? News flash! English speakers don’t use Japanese Suffixes/syntax when we talk. How do you not know that?
4/29/2019 c1 Guest
Go fucking kill your self you retarded fuck face and take this piece of absolute shit with you
3/29/2019 c10 omegaderose
KUROTSUCHI HAS FUCKING BLACK EYES NOT PINK WHY DOES EVERY IDIOT WRITES SHE HAS PINK EYES
11/28/2018 c14 Kitari Ferreira
please continue this fic it is absolutely amazing i really want to read more of this i really love this it truly is amazing
11/24/2018 c1 darkrage2001
Update ad soon. As u can plz
8/10/2018 c14 8jangoman1579
Final Verdict:
This shit sucks! It's a good concept and a few parts did make me laugh a bit but overall your writing makes it bad. Too many parts that makes me cringe or trigger me because of the way you are writing a character. Your inability to write fight scenes makes the parts were A LOT OF FIGHTING IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN sucks because you just make a stupid way to avoid it. Example being how instead of having team 6, that naruto was on, fight the ANBU you just make it irrelevant by having a clones just show up to handle them AND make a deux machina by having the ANBU have scrolls on them so they DIDN'T have to fight a team.

And speaking of the team you put him on. The whole thing with Akastuchi is BEYOND STUPID and making Yukari "injured" just so you can have a reason for Naruto to be at the chunin exams earlier than what he would have been if he just acted like a bodyguard for Onoki.

Let's move to the fact that you annoy the fuck out of me and any competent reading with you CONSTANTLY making Naruto a whipped bitch when it comes to ladies and the constant suffix nickname usage. Like shit I didn't think that would get on my nerves but the way you were using it made it unbearable

Also! Naruto is 15-16 who, despite logical ways of the world, is a rank A mercenary in the bingo book. He shouldn't be able to have done so many missions OR take on Kirabi/Killer Bee EVEN when he and the Hachibi are working together.

On another note, Naruto's attitude and personality is nothing like what he would have caught on in being like with being Subzero's apprentice. His outfit also sucked you should of used one of Subzero's from the games. Also, he shouldn't be so willing to give out ANY information that includes what he looks like behind his mask as well as his true name. Which brings me to the part where he removed his mask to eat the ramen. That shouldn't have happened he should of did a thing like Kakashi and ate while making people not see when he pulled the mask off. Also! You making Teuichi blush as well with his daughter triggered me greatly

Overall, don't comeback to this unless you've improved your writing skills and can rewrite the chapters or at least make the next chapters bareable to read. If you can't then someone else can
8/10/2018 c13 jangoman1579
Your inability to actually write a fight scene shows
8/9/2018 c10 jangoman1579
This chapter alone has triggered me plenty of times and why is Tsunami STILL in the harem! She is not relevant at ALL through out the series. The only time you see her is during the WAVE arc and that's in the beginning! There is no other viewing of her
8/7/2018 c8 jangoman1579
Strike one: You saying you can't do fight scenes
Strike Two: You can't do lemons, you didn't even have to GO ALL THE WAY you could of shown when they met up that night in private before moving to the next day
Strike three should be a couple of things but it will be held off
8/6/2018 c6 jangoman1579
ronin from en. .org
A rōnin (浪人, "drifter" or "wanderer") was a samurai without a lord or master during the feudal period (1185–1868) of Japan

Stop calling Naruto a ronin, just cause the word has nin in it doesn't mean it is talking about a ninja/shinobi
8/6/2018 c4 jangoman1579
Lots of grammatical mistakes and please don't make the female sasuke act like that. "But I killed people" cries, stop that. Yes she can be emotionally off about it but don't make it sound like they aren't in their mid-teens or weren't taught that this would happen soon
8/3/2018 c11 dinorun154
Update please
7/26/2018 c14 Sentry
Great story plz continue and also can you add mei back to the harem.
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