for Supernova11/22 c5 Intelligo
I lived in Japan for a year, studied the language for half a decade on top of that. I say that to preface: the major problem with anime is the English translations are often extremely awkward and cringey, because the stuff characters say is just not said in colloquial English.
The sentiment, however, can be interpreted and made into English that sounds natural while conveying the same basic idea.
When you essentially transcribe the dubbed translations or captions, you lose both the opportunity to make the story more "real" as well as it sort of comes across as lazy-it is definitely not how you communicate in real life, and it is not the sort of characterization the original Japanese author had. It's merely the translators best attempt at getting across the information on screen-they aren't supposed to editorialize. As an author, you are.
There are a lot of chapters beyond this one, so this advice is likely coming too late, but just as an example: "you damn national treasure" makes sense in Japanese-it's referencing the word 'marimo', with is a linguistic play because of a type of green moss in Japan that's considered precious/beautiful. To English speakers, this is utterly meaningless. You can come up with a different insult that has the same idea, to make fun of his hair, and it'll play way better.
I lived in Japan for a year, studied the language for half a decade on top of that. I say that to preface: the major problem with anime is the English translations are often extremely awkward and cringey, because the stuff characters say is just not said in colloquial English.
The sentiment, however, can be interpreted and made into English that sounds natural while conveying the same basic idea.
When you essentially transcribe the dubbed translations or captions, you lose both the opportunity to make the story more "real" as well as it sort of comes across as lazy-it is definitely not how you communicate in real life, and it is not the sort of characterization the original Japanese author had. It's merely the translators best attempt at getting across the information on screen-they aren't supposed to editorialize. As an author, you are.
There are a lot of chapters beyond this one, so this advice is likely coming too late, but just as an example: "you damn national treasure" makes sense in Japanese-it's referencing the word 'marimo', with is a linguistic play because of a type of green moss in Japan that's considered precious/beautiful. To English speakers, this is utterly meaningless. You can come up with a different insult that has the same idea, to make fun of his hair, and it'll play way better.
11/16 c13 
1BrianShooter672
Already read this chapter about a Month ago, somehow i forgot to write my review.
1. Said would it be possible for Luffy to ask someone like Miss Double Finger to join the Crew after Chopper defeated her and afterward treated her wound which she's question him why since she's was her enemy. Chopper reply by saying that he's a Doctor, no matter if you an Friend or Foe. It's a Doctor Job to treat they injury. It's what his Father and Mother Figure taught him while his Captain told him that never take a joy of killing people's cause once you do, you became a Monster, This idea came up after reading mangawriter77 Comment.
2. Said Author, if you wanna make Nami VS Mr. 2 Bon Clay even funnier. How about he turn to Zoro or Sanji and brag that she's could hit her own Comrade which end getting Lighthing Tempo and powerful punch from Nami since she's occasionally beat these two for arguing with each other.
3. Said what happen to Wapol Devil Fruit? I know went the user's die, their power revered back to a Nearby Fruit, i hope Somehow Accidentally find it while he's was lost and being keeping it ever since. It could be useful for someone like Franky any other people in the Crew since General Franky is make from Wapometal.
1BrianShooter672Already read this chapter about a Month ago, somehow i forgot to write my review.
1. Said would it be possible for Luffy to ask someone like Miss Double Finger to join the Crew after Chopper defeated her and afterward treated her wound which she's question him why since she's was her enemy. Chopper reply by saying that he's a Doctor, no matter if you an Friend or Foe. It's a Doctor Job to treat they injury. It's what his Father and Mother Figure taught him while his Captain told him that never take a joy of killing people's cause once you do, you became a Monster, This idea came up after reading mangawriter77 Comment.
2. Said Author, if you wanna make Nami VS Mr. 2 Bon Clay even funnier. How about he turn to Zoro or Sanji and brag that she's could hit her own Comrade which end getting Lighthing Tempo and powerful punch from Nami since she's occasionally beat these two for arguing with each other.
3. Said what happen to Wapol Devil Fruit? I know went the user's die, their power revered back to a Nearby Fruit, i hope Somehow Accidentally find it while he's was lost and being keeping it ever since. It could be useful for someone like Franky any other people in the Crew since General Franky is make from Wapometal.
11/13 c2 Shadowhell1992
Just a bit of a different take on the logia explanation.
Yes the intangibility Defense that they have has to be turned on and off and in the later parts the observation haki helps it. But in the early stages of one piece oda never thought it would be running for 20 years so it's more likely that the early logia users like smoker, Enel and Crocodile always has the defence on in a fight and turned it off after it Luffy here never had someone to help him train it to a better level and I doubt he will until the time skip. I'm not counting you not having him use I'm just saying haki isn't needed for the logia defence it helps it but it's not needed.
Just a bit of a different take on the logia explanation.
Yes the intangibility Defense that they have has to be turned on and off and in the later parts the observation haki helps it. But in the early stages of one piece oda never thought it would be running for 20 years so it's more likely that the early logia users like smoker, Enel and Crocodile always has the defence on in a fight and turned it off after it Luffy here never had someone to help him train it to a better level and I doubt he will until the time skip. I'm not counting you not having him use I'm just saying haki isn't needed for the logia defence it helps it but it's not needed.
11/8 c13 BloodedgetheReaper2113
I just binge read this and absolutely loved it. Really looking forward to the end of the Alabasta arc and the future from there. Keep up the awesome work
I just binge read this and absolutely loved it. Really looking forward to the end of the Alabasta arc and the future from there. Keep up the awesome work
10/22 c13 bobthebuilding
What's the point of using "kiseru" instead of smoking pipe? People that don't speak Japanese are just gonna have to google that shit.
Aside from that though, fantastic chapter, loving the story. Thanks for writing this. :)
What's the point of using "kiseru" instead of smoking pipe? People that don't speak Japanese are just gonna have to google that shit.
Aside from that though, fantastic chapter, loving the story. Thanks for writing this. :)
10/22 c10 bobthebuilding
Iirc, Robin can't daisy-chain her limbs sprouting and they have to be within sight of *her* and not just in sight of an eye she sprouts, hence why she had to see the South Bird before she could sprout arms on it in the Jaya jungle.
So she wouldn't be able to sprout limbs in the lower decks of an enemy ship unless she was on said ship's lower deck.
Iirc, Robin can't daisy-chain her limbs sprouting and they have to be within sight of *her* and not just in sight of an eye she sprouts, hence why she had to see the South Bird before she could sprout arms on it in the Jaya jungle.
So she wouldn't be able to sprout limbs in the lower decks of an enemy ship unless she was on said ship's lower deck.
10/22 c9 bobthebuilding
Yami Yami's blackhole generation combined with Bara Bara's splitting to negate the Yami Yami's weakness of not being able to turn into Logia form and also so all the different split parts can generate blackholes to suck people in, then a destructive DF (like the Gura Gura but any heavy hitter will do) for the finisher.
Yami Yami's blackhole generation combined with Bara Bara's splitting to negate the Yami Yami's weakness of not being able to turn into Logia form and also so all the different split parts can generate blackholes to suck people in, then a destructive DF (like the Gura Gura but any heavy hitter will do) for the finisher.
10/22 c8 bobthebuilding
Oh, while I've seen Robin join after Whiskey Peak before, I've never seen her be the one to get sick after Little Garden. What a fantastic way to get her to trust the crew.
Oh, while I've seen Robin join after Whiskey Peak before, I've never seen her be the one to get sick after Little Garden. What a fantastic way to get her to trust the crew.
10/22 c7 bobthebuilding
When they encounter Aokiji, Luffy should ask to fight him seriously going all out, but ask to Aokiji to let him fight with his back to Going Merry after every one evacuates to it, after explaining he's a destructive Logia.
When they encounter Aokiji, Luffy should ask to fight him seriously going all out, but ask to Aokiji to let him fight with his back to Going Merry after every one evacuates to it, after explaining he's a destructive Logia.