for Failed2/23/2017 c1 okitty
I hate you.. It's really sad I couldn't stop crying and feel gloomy all over again remembering that Thorin as well as Kili and Fili are dead. Gaahhhh :(
I hate you.. It's really sad I couldn't stop crying and feel gloomy all over again remembering that Thorin as well as Kili and Fili are dead. Gaahhhh :(
1/23/2017 c1 Guest
I don't know whether to be angry at you, for putting this into more words or at JRR Tolkein for killing these brothers in the first place.,...! ahhhhhh! I cant believe this, you really captured what I had in my heart, your incredibly talented with this.
do you take prompts? if you do, maybe consider something like this...
Thorin first asking (Dis) to let Fili and Kili to go on the quest with them...then maybe elaborate more on the journey from the blue mountains to Bilbo's hobbit hole...?
I don't know whether to be angry at you, for putting this into more words or at JRR Tolkein for killing these brothers in the first place.,...! ahhhhhh! I cant believe this, you really captured what I had in my heart, your incredibly talented with this.
do you take prompts? if you do, maybe consider something like this...
Thorin first asking (Dis) to let Fili and Kili to go on the quest with them...then maybe elaborate more on the journey from the blue mountains to Bilbo's hobbit hole...?
1/8/2017 c1 Kiwi
So very very very very Sad, why oh why did they have to die WHY!? I dont think that Dwalin failed Thorin, Fili or Kili, for he fought as hard as they did. He never not even once did he think of running away and letting them fight along themselves. Dwalin, did all he could to protect Thorin, Fili, and Kili and protect them he did but. Sadly that doesn't mean he was able to save them and sadly that is what happens in wathe. Actually not just war but in life everyday life. Dealing may not have saved Thorin Fili or Kili but he I'd do all he couldto protect them and in times of war that is ALL ANY ONE CAN DO. So again I say Dwalin did not fail them AND I HEAT the fact that he believes he has.
So very very very very Sad, why oh why did they have to die WHY!? I dont think that Dwalin failed Thorin, Fili or Kili, for he fought as hard as they did. He never not even once did he think of running away and letting them fight along themselves. Dwalin, did all he could to protect Thorin, Fili, and Kili and protect them he did but. Sadly that doesn't mean he was able to save them and sadly that is what happens in wathe. Actually not just war but in life everyday life. Dealing may not have saved Thorin Fili or Kili but he I'd do all he couldto protect them and in times of war that is ALL ANY ONE CAN DO. So again I say Dwalin did not fail them AND I HEAT the fact that he believes he has.
1/24/2016 c1 
11Marigold Faucet
Oh, Dwalin. This is beautiful. This is so so beautiful and sad and beautiful. Wait, there's a word for that! Poignant. This is a poignant piece.
I love how every instance of "failed" feels like the beat of a heart, the strike of a fist or the swing of a sword - and perfectly emulates the sheer agony within Dwalin that you open with. It's such an emotional pain, but the language you use makes it feel so tangible - so physical and in a way it is. There's a reason they say the heart is broken.
While I enjoyed the small memory of sleeping Fili, I felt the imagery of sleep v death could have been made more impacting by linking the action of the present narrative with the past - namely, the act of carrying. I think it would have allowed for a smoother transition into the flashback and made it an almost seamless inclusion into the paragraph.
That aside, I love your use of repetition. I have already praised your use of "failed", but I love how you use "he had not" over and over. As the title suggests, this is a piece about failure and your repetition of "he had not" cements the idea that the deaths of Fili, Kili ad Thorin were down to all that Dwalin "had not" done: "had not run fast enough, had not fought hard enough".
Then after, that "he had not told them". That in this moment, at least where Fili is concerned, it is for Dwalin to bear that grief alone. His duty to carry Fili home and to his final rest, because he has failed in all else.
The line "and the world stretched thin and pale" is truly beautiful, especially given that it proceeds that moment just before breaks down entirely - like Dwalin himself is stretched thin, already brittle and the revelation that Kili is dead is the point where his already cracked world (and heart) completely shatters.
He'll never put himself back together and if he does, he'll never be whole. You have captured the moment Dwalin breaks apart perfectly, this snapshot of a warrior irreversibly damaged by his inability to prevent the death of those he swore to protect and the resulting guilt.
Beautiful.
11Marigold FaucetOh, Dwalin. This is beautiful. This is so so beautiful and sad and beautiful. Wait, there's a word for that! Poignant. This is a poignant piece.
I love how every instance of "failed" feels like the beat of a heart, the strike of a fist or the swing of a sword - and perfectly emulates the sheer agony within Dwalin that you open with. It's such an emotional pain, but the language you use makes it feel so tangible - so physical and in a way it is. There's a reason they say the heart is broken.
While I enjoyed the small memory of sleeping Fili, I felt the imagery of sleep v death could have been made more impacting by linking the action of the present narrative with the past - namely, the act of carrying. I think it would have allowed for a smoother transition into the flashback and made it an almost seamless inclusion into the paragraph.
That aside, I love your use of repetition. I have already praised your use of "failed", but I love how you use "he had not" over and over. As the title suggests, this is a piece about failure and your repetition of "he had not" cements the idea that the deaths of Fili, Kili ad Thorin were down to all that Dwalin "had not" done: "had not run fast enough, had not fought hard enough".
Then after, that "he had not told them". That in this moment, at least where Fili is concerned, it is for Dwalin to bear that grief alone. His duty to carry Fili home and to his final rest, because he has failed in all else.
The line "and the world stretched thin and pale" is truly beautiful, especially given that it proceeds that moment just before breaks down entirely - like Dwalin himself is stretched thin, already brittle and the revelation that Kili is dead is the point where his already cracked world (and heart) completely shatters.
He'll never put himself back together and if he does, he'll never be whole. You have captured the moment Dwalin breaks apart perfectly, this snapshot of a warrior irreversibly damaged by his inability to prevent the death of those he swore to protect and the resulting guilt.
Beautiful.
1/13/2016 c1 14empire14
Truly amazing and heartbreaking. An extremely accurate portrayel of Dwalin's thoughts. I honestly think he would have been exactly like this when he found out the extent of their loss. Really, really well done.
14empire14Truly amazing and heartbreaking. An extremely accurate portrayel of Dwalin's thoughts. I honestly think he would have been exactly like this when he found out the extent of their loss. Really, really well done.
1/9/2016 c1 20whilewewereyetsinners
Okay, you made me cry. But how could he *not* feel that way, how could all the rest of the company not feel that they had failed? It's so sad. :(
20whilewewereyetsinnersOkay, you made me cry. But how could he *not* feel that way, how could all the rest of the company not feel that they had failed? It's so sad. :(
12/29/2015 c1 42TolkienGeek1
This. Was. The. Saddest. Thing. Of. Earth. :'''( I always thought Dwalin would feel absolutely guilty of their deaths but I've never seen it written. You did so well. So so well. And now I'm crying.
42TolkienGeek1This. Was. The. Saddest. Thing. Of. Earth. :'''( I always thought Dwalin would feel absolutely guilty of their deaths but I've never seen it written. You did so well. So so well. And now I'm crying.
11/4/2015 c1 2Brave Wolf Heart
*Takes a shaky breath* WHY!? There are tears streaming down my face, and it's hard for me to see what I'm writing. I loved and hated this all so much. It was beautifully heart-wrenching! Oh... Dwalin... You are not a failure!... Great job on this fic. It was full of emotion and very well written. All I can say I can say right now is, Farewell Thorin Oakenshield! And Fíli and Kíli! May your memory never fade!
2Brave Wolf Heart*Takes a shaky breath* WHY!? There are tears streaming down my face, and it's hard for me to see what I'm writing. I loved and hated this all so much. It was beautifully heart-wrenching! Oh... Dwalin... You are not a failure!... Great job on this fic. It was full of emotion and very well written. All I can say I can say right now is, Farewell Thorin Oakenshield! And Fíli and Kíli! May your memory never fade!
10/29/2015 c1 61ncis-lady
Seriously, for me Dwalin is one of the most tragic characters of the BOFA movie. He lost his father, then his best friend and the lads he vowed to protect, and we all know that eventually he will lose his brother, too. I have the same headcanon about Dwalin taking care of Fili (if you like, take a look at my story "All shall fade") and I love the way you let us share in his grief here. I'm not sure if I agree with his behaviour when Tauriel comes along with Kili, in my opinion he wouldn't ever show weakness before an elf, but that's just me ;) The ending really got to me, and all in all you got Dwalin's guilt perfectly - the guilt Graham McTavish himself said Dwalin would feel for the rest of his life. Excuse me now, need to curl up in a corner and cry.
61ncis-ladySeriously, for me Dwalin is one of the most tragic characters of the BOFA movie. He lost his father, then his best friend and the lads he vowed to protect, and we all know that eventually he will lose his brother, too. I have the same headcanon about Dwalin taking care of Fili (if you like, take a look at my story "All shall fade") and I love the way you let us share in his grief here. I'm not sure if I agree with his behaviour when Tauriel comes along with Kili, in my opinion he wouldn't ever show weakness before an elf, but that's just me ;) The ending really got to me, and all in all you got Dwalin's guilt perfectly - the guilt Graham McTavish himself said Dwalin would feel for the rest of his life. Excuse me now, need to curl up in a corner and cry.
10/25/2015 c1 15Ellethiriel
Oh, that was sad! :'( Poor Dwalin. Just imagining him, the hardened warrior, sobbing out his grief like that is heartwrenching.
And yes, something like this has been my headcanon for a while now. I'm really annoyed that Fíli was so often shoved to the sidelines by Kíli (even though I like him), especially in TBotFA.
Thanks for writing this. :)
15EllethirielOh, that was sad! :'( Poor Dwalin. Just imagining him, the hardened warrior, sobbing out his grief like that is heartwrenching.
And yes, something like this has been my headcanon for a while now. I'm really annoyed that Fíli was so often shoved to the sidelines by Kíli (even though I like him), especially in TBotFA.
Thanks for writing this. :)
10/23/2015 c1 1faramirs
no. no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no non nein nyet nem geen jo yox ne dili palibe ingen nee neniu ei hindi ningunha babu ekki tidak aon ora tsy misy ebda kahore nei nie nao nu teu hakuna nej beyin yo'q khong dim akukho. no.
"young, cheerful dwarves who had no business dying now or a hundred years hence"
goodbye i am going to go dig my own grave
1faramirsno. no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no non nein nyet nem geen jo yox ne dili palibe ingen nee neniu ei hindi ningunha babu ekki tidak aon ora tsy misy ebda kahore nei nie nao nu teu hakuna nej beyin yo'q khong dim akukho. no.
"young, cheerful dwarves who had no business dying now or a hundred years hence"
goodbye i am going to go dig my own grave
10/23/2015 c1 74WillowDryad
Oh, this totally breaks my heart.
I SO wish this had been in the movie. Dwalin would be just this way. Gruff as he always is, he loved all three of them so much. I can't stand it.
Wonderfully and beautifully awful.
74WillowDryadOh, this totally breaks my heart.
I SO wish this had been in the movie. Dwalin would be just this way. Gruff as he always is, he loved all three of them so much. I can't stand it.
Wonderfully and beautifully awful.