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for Salvatore

4/14/2016 c1 6Mr. CyborgPineappleIsland II
Wow man! Good story! I noticed a few grammatical errors and sometimes it felt like you were speaking more than your characters, but the story was a nice fluff piece that I was glad to read.

I wish I could add more, but as you know, I'm not good at that type of thing xD
4/14/2016 c1 16Knifez
This was nice! Very sweet. The grammar was a little off all throughout, but you've been working on it and its definitely an improvement from your older stuff.

I didn't really get Emma's bit about needing to wear a hat, since she didn't wear a hat all throughout RR.

I also felt Noah lacked his rude wit in this.

The scene where Emma and Noah are talking about Kitty was really well done though, and I liked the overall feel of this story.

Good job.
12/9/2015 c1 TOTALFANGIRL
11/6/2015 c1 10JojiMC
Alright. *rubs hands together* Time for a review that is more critical than usual with your writing, but I'll still say what I liked about this story first. The atmosphere was my favorite part of the story, and I especially loved the Italian incorporated in. Also, Noah's speech to Emma was adorable and something that completed the story for me.

And now, here are the main beefs I have with this. Noah. Although I thought Emma's portrayal was pretty good, Noah was by no means snarky enough. You miss out on that, you miss out on his whole character. His dialogue was also way too wordy for a straightforward person like him. I do know how difficult it is for everyone to write certain characters, however, especially if they don't relate to themselves, and I'm guessing Noah is one of those characters you don't have an affinity for. And also, the ending of this story doesn't make it sound complete- kisses generally don't make good endings due to their lack of closure oftentimes. It would've been better off just ending with them leaving the city and reflecting on their good time.

Sorry for giving longer criticisms than praises. :c This story was a miss for me this time, but we all have those sometimes. Certainly doesn't reflect on your ability to write awesome stories, though. c:
10/28/2015 c1 50acosta perez jose ramiro
Heh, this is just so cool.

Keep the good writing.
10/28/2015 c1 Invisible Author
Oh my goodness I love this! Great job once again, my friend! :)

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