Just In
for Fate's Betrayal

1/15 c1 Darksabre35
And to the rest of the review...


Yeah…something awful just HAD to happen to Hedda, no?


**tears pouring down face** Hands-down one of the most heart-breaking scenes in your stories ever. I knew it was coming, but that didn't make reading it any easier. You really know how to twist the knife in your readers' guts, don't you?

***shudders*** who matters more, who matters less. So Jacen decides he'd rather trust a vision on an asteroid warped by dark emotions and 'avoid' murdering one of his family members by…'offing' Nelani. I agree with Sioux on this one; I'm not sure it's always such a good idea to trust Force visions…they seem pretty freaking unreliable. All the same, great job with a really tough scene.

And also a great 'first step' on Jacen's path to becoming a Sith who will sacrifice all for the good of the galaxy…


Great to see the younger generation growing up and having adventures of their own! It'll be fun to see where they go in future 'fics. And also, nice throwback having Clone Wars era droids on the asteroid! Ben and Kani are cute together…but I know you're planning to kill Kani off so I won't bother getting too attached…


Alema Rar, master of manipulation. And a move against Corellia…*shivers with dread*


I won't lie; initially when I read the first part of this scene I thought that you had gone the canon route and Jacen had offed Nelani.

I like the route you seem to ultimately be going for in your universe, which is definitely way different from what we see in most SW fanfiction and canon as well. You seem to be running with the idea that ultimately the Sith/Dark Jedi and the Jedi are going to have to find a way to coexist, and I really like how you are going about it. You'd think that after thousands of years of history the Jedi would have picked up on the fact that they can NEVER completely eradicate the Sith; their shortsightedness cost them nearly all of the Jedi Order not so many decades ago. And the Sith should have learned that they can never completely quash the Jedi; they always make a comeback. What the two sides need to do, IMO, is realize they need to, however strange an idea it may be, find a way to 'share' the power in the galaxy.

So now for the giant purple neon elephant in the room…so Anakin basically decides he'll convince his brother to become a Sith Lord for the good of the galaxy…or do it himself. It's kind of interesting to think about what 10-year-old Anakin who was terrified of becoming Darth Vader would think of 30-ish (29 according to your timeline actually) Anakin who's willing to go over to the dark side to create the kind of galaxy he wants his family to live in. I know Jacen is going to go Caedus, but I can't help but feel in a way that Anakin may be even 'darker' than Jacen at this point. Because whatever happens to Jacen/Jacen does as Caedus is technically on Anakin's head, in a way. He may not be the one playing Sith Lord, but as I've said before, he's gotten used to 'playing god' and seeing people as pawns instead of people. I feel that his tactical mind is his greatest strength, but it is fast becoming his darkest trait as well. It will be interesting to see how he reconciles this attitude with…remaining human, as your trilogy goes on. And no, please don't think I'm criticizing your writing…I'm personally ALL for you taking Anakin as dark as you want. **Sith-y smile** Most 'Anakin survives Myrkr' 'fics have him become a super-Jedi, and I personally love that you've trampled all over the idea that he would have gone on to become another Luke Skywalker, had he lived.

At least Jacen is hesitant about going over to the dark side completely…although he sees the logic in the situation. What I'm just hoping for is that he maintains his bonds to Tenel Ka and Allana regardless of what he ends up doing. If he does this whole Sith gig alone, he WILL end up in a REALLY bad place. But if he at least has someone in his corner (and the way I see it, Anakin is NOT in Jacen's corner, basically content to turn his brother into a murderer to get the results HE wants), he could maybe come out moderately okay.


As always, I am impressed by how well you portray Alema and her endless machinations. She may be a total basket case in a lot of ways, but boy do I enjoy her scenes!


Whew…I liked the fact that you found an alternate route to Jacen killing Nelani. Wiping her memory was definitely very brutal, but…better. It's actually great that he took all those pains to make sure that she'd have a good life with what knowledge she had left. Very bittersweet. I really liked it.

And thus ends what just might be my longest review to date. Kudos, Fish, on once again crafting another amazing story. You'll get no complaints from me about the direction you're taking the Solo brothers…what I really want to see now is what Jaina thinks of her brothers' increasingly darker paths…but then again, she IS working for the Empire.

Now on to your Ben/Vestara story!
1/15 c1 10Darksabre35

So no, I didn't decide to go MIA on you again…was just traveling for the past couple days or so. Oh, btw, I went back to aDA to re-read some of my favorite parts of that 'fic, and something seems to have gone wrong with the formatting. Chapters 4 and 5 somehow have disappeared from FFN; I don't know if that's because you're editing it or a site glitch…just wanted to let you know.

I won’t lie, a part of me was very nervous going into reading Fate's Betrayal. Not just because of the larger implications of whatever outcome for your 'verse, but because I've grown to love these characters so much and am always scared when a big decision comes up. But as always, you have delivered, giving us a story that's both believable and consistent with all the characters' previous characterizations. Now, on to the review…


I see you went the canon route with Ben becoming Jacen's apprentice…strangely enough, I'd always envisioned that Ben would become Anakin's apprentice if the latter had survived Myrkr. The banter between Jacen and Nelani was great…which makes the events which occur later in the 'fic just all the more heart-breaking.

Well, certainly it must be interesting to see Jacen and Anakin play their little 'we hate each other' game from the outside. There's worse to come, though, I fear…

LOL…of course any Solo vacation would turn into an adventure, and TBH, the Hutts CAN be useful allies…at times. 'Anakin was hiding something'…I forget, did Anakin ever actually tell Tahiri what he was actually doing on that asteroid? Somehow I've always felt the version of the story he told Jaina, Jacen, and Luke was TOO…'edited.' 'Nothing's going to happen'…oh Jacen, you just doomed this mission. It's ALWAYS when someone says 'this is going to be fine' that things go straight to hell in a hurry.


'I've got a bad feeling about this'. When are people going to learn to NEVER EVER say that?! I appreciate the reference though.

'They can't hurt you'? Uh, Anakin, I distinctly remember you being severely injured in a fight with your siblings' and Tahiri's 'projections' back in the day. So someone's come back to the asteroid…oh, I wonder who engineered that. ***sarcastic voice***

A warning from someone who knows their fairy tales…the harmless-looking old woman is NEVER actually harmless. Run away quickly. Nice tying this story into the movies though with the Count Dooku reference. The crazy ride through the dark-side asteroid on a possessed amusement ride must have been fun…I mean, not.

No fluffy kittens and puppies…just Sith. Do Sith keep pets, BTW? I think Jacen used to keep crystal snakes and dart spiders, correct? Nice throwback, all the more heartbreaking in light of where he's going at the end of this 'fic…

I know my horror move tropes….it's ALWAYS when people get separated that the bad things start happening.


I won't lie; I chuckled at the 'Nelani Dinn was not having a good day' line. Such an understatement!

Aaaand…the Sith makes his appearance. I really enjoyed your Darth Vectivus…amusing and oh-so-convincing. I'm not sure I buy his theory of everything 'living' on the asteroid being connected to something else somewhere, but it does introduce an interesting moral dilemma.

You really hammered home how serious the idea of 'sacrifice a few to save many' is here. As much as I know your story is set up to support the theme that this idea IS justifiable in certain situations, Nelani DOES have a point: "When you reduce people's lives to a math equation, you're no longer a living being." She should remind BOTH Anakin and Jacen of that, methinks.

Nice how you incorporated some of Darth Caedus's canon actions here. It will be interesting to see which things Fish-Caedus DOES end up doing. I was pretty surprised that Nelani ended up agreeing that it was time to off Jacen, but Tigon and Vectivus WERE pretty convincing.

Okay, I won't lie. I LOVED this scene. It was fantastic to see Jacen and Anakin go to-to-toe with Mara and Luke respectively, especially because, in some ways, I DO think the phantoms were saying what Luke and Mara occasionally feel down deep inside but love their nephews too much to say.

May sound strange coming from me, but I agree with 'Luke' on Anakin not being a Jedi anymore. He DOES command a secret police force that has been proven to not have much of a problem with coercing people, and Anakin not being a very good Jedi anymore. I argue that he's become what the galaxy needs him to be (I remember Alema insinuating he'd be as much back in aDA), but what that is isn't necessarily a Jedi. He may not be a Sith lord, but his increasing tendency to 'play god' doesn’t fit with the Jedi ideal…as we see from some of his actions at the end of this fic.

'Do you really think that you can be the first Sith Lord in centuries with the strength to use Sith techniques to help others?' Holy foreshadowing, Fish! I'm really excited to see what you're going to do with Jacen and the idea that someone can go 'bad' with ultimately good results. It'll surely be a dynamic and nuanced ride…brilliant fall, anyone?

At least Anakin has the self-awareness to realize he's…getting darker. It all depends on the situation…the Jedi of the Old Order would have passed out to hear such words.

'Somewhere down the line being a Sith meant that the light side as an anathema, that being a Jedi meant the dark side was forbidden'…I'm excited to find out how you choose to revolutionize both the Sith and Jedi's perspectives of their Force usage as you continue your epic. I think both sides could learn a thing or two from each other.

I see Jacen's going his grandpa's way with the Force choke business…I mean, after all, he IS already wearing a mask. 'This wasn't truly Mara Jade Skywalker, wasn't truly the woman who-though she disagreed with his actions-would never go so far as to raise her blade against him.' **has heart attack** Fish, I beg you, don't. Oh, please tell me that's not foreshadowing. I felt the canon authors did Mara a TERRIBLE disservice by killing her off the way they did; no, please don't let Mara go at Jacen's blade. *sobs* I'll bribe you if I must…
1/1/2016 c1 4David Fishwick
Awesome idea and thanks for writing and I am glad that Jacen did not kill Nelani in this story. I liked how you wrote Anakin fighting with Morto.
11/27/2015 c1 32DefectIllusions
Oh wow. Alright, and the Caedus storyline, will that be continued in a fic at some point?
11/15/2015 c1 1Calyzar
Okay just to get this of my chest: I didn't like it.

But not for any of the reasons you stated.
I'm confident, I got the big picture setup you intended to convey with this and I really like the plan of 'staging Caedus rise' , why should only the bad guys have men on the inside. I don't agree with your your way of doing it though.
First - two of the most powerful and adept Jedi this generation has seen, being played by one Sith Lord, one apprentice and some canon fodder to this extend? Hard to swallow.
Second - getting beaten up so badly bei Force phantoms? I get the asteroid was a dark side nexus, but so was the temple on Kalee during the Vong War. There were even real, old Sith Lords and all of the good guys were ten years younger. They beat Onimi and they fought their Killik opponents. If I try to put all of that in relation to now, it doesn't work for me.
And Third - Anakin watching a seriously maimed Hedda being Force Choked. By far the most memorable scene of this story for me, because I can't find another reason for it other then showing us how bad the Sith can be. In my opinion you established their methodes of operation well enough in the last chapter of aFU. It just felt overly cruel considering what else happened.
On another note, I don't know if this was your plan for Nelani all along, but I found that part really well done.
Can't really say too much about Bens group, because of what you told me already, but it was enjoyable to read about the dynamics of their team.

Not one of my more usual everything is awesome reviews, but had to get it of my chest. As you can see from the date of me writing this, I had quite a while to think about it.

11/3/2015 c1 Colo Kid
I'm not going to lie, I was pretty apprehensive about reading this. Why? Well, this chapter has been the White Elephant in the room of 'Fish-verse' since you first started and it was pretty clear that we were going to end up here at some point.

Interesting that Anakin and Jacen have worked to politically marginalize the Jedi. In a way, it reminds me of what some of the clerics were doing in Saudi Arabia: preaching about the vile-ness of the west, and then SHOCKED when some of the people they've been preaching to do horrible things. Jacen is sewing seeds of discord in the Senate, which will probably lead to further marginalization and animosity. What's the line from 'Meet the Robinsons'?-"I'm not sure this plan was well thought out."

Moving the Jedi out of the military and in to the GAG is interesting...and a bit scary.

Our intrepid explorers found this really-out-of-the-way asteroid fairly easily. Sure, Jacen felt Vergere die, but those feelings are fairly vague...although, in fairness, having Jacen and Nelani spending 2 months exploring star-charts in the library would make for pretty dull reading.

The mine ride sounded fun! I totally pictured the scene from 'Temple of Doom' when reading...minus the lava.

I had a feeling Hedda was going to be the 'red shirt' on this trip...the pain she endured would have been excruciating.

On a related note: I always assumed Nelani to be stronger mentally than she was here...expected it to take a bit longer for her to break. I actually liked the way you wrote the scene, though. Unlike our profic authors, Jacen followed Anakin's advice: "Always another way." I still have trouble with Nelani or Jacen (or anyone) really believing that a vision is set in concrete...that the future is fixed.

Is it wrong to hope that Jacen will turn Anakin down? That Anakin goes all 'Sith-lite' to unite the dark Jedi? At the very least, I'm hoping that Jacen lets Tenel Ka in on his plan, so at least he's not alone on an island...

You realize that you've just launched a plot-bunny in my noggin now about Nelani searching for her Jedi benefactor, right? As if I don't already have a bunch of those...

Well, thanks for making Jacen less crappy and more real than 'Betrayal'.
11/1/2015 c1 13ShortySC22
I liked this as an interlude for after Swarm War. Can't wait to see what you'll have in store next. Of course this at least seems like a much better reason for Jacen to go Dark. I never understood the whole Legacy of the Froce series, it seemed to have too many storylines coming from every direction and I didn't get why Jacen needed to go Dark.
10/31/2015 c1 3JediMasterDraco
Well that was something. Nelani's and Hedda's fate are definitely interesting to behold. Both Anakin and Jacen are walking a VERY fine line and even when the Jedi come out on top, at best they'll both be exiled from the civilized galaxy. I doubt that either Tenel Ka or Tahiri are going to be pleased with them. On the bright side, with any luck, the Solo-Skywalker clan will have a new Redeemed-From-The-Dark-Side addition. What can I say, the mishandling of Vestara drove me berserk and is one of the reasons X-Wing Mercy Kill will be the last piece of official Star Wars material I ever look at. Incidentally, it was during my "pissed-off-at-Troy-Fucking-Denning-once-again" period that I stumbled across A Destiny Altered. No complaints so far.
10/31/2015 c1 Force Smuggler
Wow. What a story. Knew it was coming out this week, earlier in the week but caught me by surprise today. What a way to cap off the day.
What an intense ride. The future is going to get chaotic.
Ugh. Visions. I hate those. Those are going to come back and bite everyone in the butt aren't they?
What happened to Ben and friends?
Ah Sith plotting. How wonderful. Not. Though if it kills more sith, all the better.
Anakin is right about more Sith but is completely wrong at how many are out there.
Then the Lost Tribe is out there.
At least Nelani lives. Not the way I'd like but better than in canon. Wonder how Jacen is going to explain that one.
Can't wait for November 14th.
10/31/2015 c1 8Transformers g1's-Prime
Great story!

I love the universe that you have created with Anakin's survival and how his survival has sped up many events and yet prolong some too.

I loved the position that you put Jacen in. Either become Caedus and save the galaxy or don't and watch it burn. Its choices like that that strengthens my love for this series you created.

I can't wait to see the emergence of the One Sith and where exactly Jacen and Anakin's paths will go and I'm curious to see what this Ben Skywalker story will be.

Keep up the good work!
10/31/2015 c1 17Boris Yeltsin
Excellent oneshot, and a long one at that.
Nice idea combining the One Sith, the Lost Tribe and the Dark Lady.

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